I am a trustworthy guy. I know this because my phone company confirmed it.
The Source
I am a trustworthy guy. I know this because my phone company confirmed it. The phone company likes me. They’ve been calling every few days and writing on the off days, telling me that I’m such a trustworthy person that they’d like to give me a sweet deal combining my telephone and satellite dish. They only do this with trustworthy persons. “Mr. Bradbury, this is Angelica with Frontier Communications. How are you?” “I’m very good, Angelica. What are you selling?” “I was just wondering if you’re satisfied with your cable TV service. Do you have cable TV?” “Yep. Medusa-Com.” “Medusa-Com?” “You know..Medusa..the face of evil in Greek mythology. Snake hair. Out to destroy people’s lives. Bad woman.” “Oh. Mr. Bradbury, for just $75 a month we can combine all your phone calling and give you satellite television.” “What’s the cost?” “Seventy-five dollars.” “No. I mean the total cost. Angelica, I have a feeling that whatever price you just quoted me is not the total cost. Gimme the grand finale.” “Well…let me see…” “You haven’t looked this up before?” “Of course there’s the installation fee and the taxes and normal charges.” “You’re getting closer, sweetheart.” “Mr. Bradbury while I’m looking that up, could you answer a few brief questions?” “Sure. I reserve 45 minutes a day just to answer phone calls from your company.” “Mr. Bradbury, could I have a current credit card number?” “Why?” “To verify your credit status.” “Angelica, I have paid my bills on time to your company for 20 years. Now you need to check my credit?” “I’m sorry, Mr. Bradbury. It’s something we need to do.” I gave her the number, then, “Mr. Bradbury, could you please give me your phone number?” “Angelica, you are the phone company. You just called me. Now you want to know what number you just called?” “I just need to verify it.” “You need to verify that I’ve not changed my phone number since you called?” “I’m sorry, Mr. Bradbury. And I need your social security number.” “No.” “Excuse me?” “No, I won’t give you my social security number. I don’t do that over the phone. Even if God were to ask, but that’s because He already knows it.” “Frontier Communications keeps this information private, Mr. Bradbury.” “I don’t care. There’s no reason in the world that you need my social security number.” “Could I just have the last four digits?” “Sure…but not in the correct order. I give ‘em to you and you can unscramble them. My phone service has nothing to do with the Social Security System. I know. I went to college and I’m really, really smart.” “Mr. Bradbury we’ve just confirmed that your credit rating is fine. We can go ahead and hook you up to satellite TV.” “Without my social security number? My Lord, Angelica! This is immaculate reception!” “Mr. Bradbury, we have confirmed you on the basic package and will soon be calling you to install an installation.” “I keep hearing applause in the background, Angelica. Are they going to applaud for you when you hang up?” (a small giggle) “I think so.” “Angelica, this is quite a day for me. My phone company has deemed me trustworthy.” When the installation guy arrived I signed the work order “Harry S. Truman,” and the guy accepted it without a blink.