It always happens. I just trade cars and they come out with something I like better.
The Source
It always happens. I just trade cars and they come out with something I like better. Pagini, a small carmaker outside the village of Modena, Italy, has just entered the U.S. Market with a model called the Huayra. It lists at 825,000 euros, and if you’re reading on this side of the Atlantic, that works out to about 1.1 million dollars. Yeah…2 one’s and a bunch of O’s. I’ll have to cut down on my riders since it seems as if the more expensive the car the less people it carries. This one is limited to two passengers. 750 horsepower ought to get me onto the Jacksonville exit ramp in short order, but I’ll dread driving all the way to Italy to get a headlight replaced. I’ll bet that Dave Zink down at Jack’s Auto Body can rig something up. He’s a good fixer. You might think that this is more than I should be spending on mere transportation, but I’ll remind you that the Volkswagen Bugatti Veyron Coupe is still higher at $1.3 million. How could you criticize me for driving a car that’s cheaper than a Volkswagen? The Huayra has a top speed of 230 miles per hour, which should take me through the traffic on Morton in good time, even when the County Market intersection is clogged up. Heck, at 230 I’ll just jump it. The dashboard instruments are made by a Swiss watchmaker and this is one of the reasons I wouldn’t mind shelling out $1.1 million for new wheels. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started up my car just to see what time it is. The car’s body will have embedded strands of titanium. This is cool. I’ve never owned a titanium car. This prevents the carbon fiber from shattering. Instead, when the lady at ShopKo backs into me, the car will just bend. Heck, cruising the Hardees parking lot in a bent Huayra will still make me the rave of the 10 a.m. coffee drinkers. I’ll wave big as I drift through the drive-through and they’ll not notice a thing. Long rides tire me out and make my back scream in indignation, but when I order my Huayra they’ll measure my body and custom design the Italian seat to fit this American rear. People will walk by my empty car say and say, “Hey, I think I recognize the shape of that seat!” Pretty cool. How many of us can say we have a leather bucket custom designed for our own personal bucket? And besides, at 230 mph the rides will be much shorter. Chapin to Steak and Shake in 90 seconds, depending upon the location of Chapin’s eagle-eyed town cop. I’ll send out a speeding Volkswagen ahead of me to distract him. Pagani only made 18 of last year’s model and then those precious few cars didn’t make it to the U.S. Something about emission standards. But the 2011 model promises to pass all the tests. Actually, I’m thinking of trading for this Italian supercar because it reminds me so much of my very first vehicle….my 1949 Willys Jeep. The Pagani is beautifully ventilated with large wings instead of doors. The Willys was equally good at giving the driver fresh air. I could look through two-inch gaps in the sidewalls and if you hit a curb going 50 mph the entire roof would fly up. While the Pagani boasts an intricate computer system for retrieving such information as weather and road conditions, the Willys had holes in the floorboard. If you wanted to know the weather you just looked down. Road conditions were equally easy to determine…when your socks got wet that meant it was raining. In fact, the Willys had advantages over the Pagani. …like four-wheel drive and a removable passenger seat. Actually, the Willys’ seat wasn’t supposed to be removable but it kept jumping around. If you got stuck in a Willys you got out and lifted it out of the pothole. I’m not sure, but I think that the only way to get a Pagani out of ditch is to call the AAA…in Modena, Italy. Then wait. I haven’t decided on a color yet. They tend to make sports cars in metallic silver, but if I’m going to spend over a million bucks on a buggy I want to be noticed. I’ve always liked burnt orange. Of course if I’m too late to order one of the 36 cars they plan to make this year or if my banker gets grouchy and insists on cheaper transportation, I’ll keep my Honda for another year. They sell orange paint at Home Depot.