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Odds on the Oddities

The Source

I wrote a play to benefit Downtown Quincy featuring the Lincoln/Douglas debates held there. Like many civic projects the event took way too many meetings, way too much travel back and forth for conversations we could have had via email, and way too much conference time that I could have spent researching and writing, but. . .face it. . .some people really to go to meetings so I succumbed, the play went well, and Quincy was happy. The highlight of the night for me was when my 90-year-old father was given a speeding ticket inside the Quincy city limits on the way to the play. He happened to sit beside the mayor and introduced himself, mentioning to His Honor that he’d driven all the way to Quincy to watch his son’s play and came away with a traffic violation. He then mentioned to the mayor that it would be a nice civic gesture if he’d take care of it. He did. Most towns our size have civic-minded souls who try their best to sell the town’s benefits to the outside world, but Jacksonville seems to have more than it’s share. For fear of leaving someone out I won’t even attempt to name all the organizations that pour their time and energy into making Jacksonville known to the rest of the world and I applaud them. They are truly the engines that make the town run. But aside from the symphony, the theatre, the business parks, the beautiful houses and the colleges, I wonder if we might try also promoting the oddities that makes our burg unique? People love oddities. Heck, sometimes we even elect them to office. Oddities like . . . ---Where else can you buy a book and have it wrapped in good, old-fashioned butcher’s paper, the way Grandma used to buy them? Shop at a Barnes and Noble and they’ll toss your purchase into a fancy plastic slider with their name emblazoned to ensure you advertise for them when you walk out of the store. But if you purchase a tome from Andy Mitchell at Our Town Books he’ll take the time to carefully wrap it in that old brown paper reminiscent of the local grocery store. It takes time, but time is a relative thing in a quality bookstore. If time was your concern then you’d be renting the movie and not buying the book. ---Rhythm Walking. I’ve spent some time in downtown Springfield when I become the official tour guide to our riverboat guests, and except for the traffic it’s a silent journey. Quincy, Decatur, Alton. . the same. But if you want to walk or jog around the Jacksonville Square you can keep your heart in rhythm to the sound of the Bee Gee’s “Stayin’ Alive,” or the Beatles’ “Hey Jude.” When the sun starts to set you’re calmed by a Glenn Miller cranking out “Chattanooga Choo Choo” or Elvis crooning about “Blue Hawaii.” ---The “What Part of Morton is Shut Down Today?” game, IDOT’s version of Whack-a-Mole. ---The World’s First Automotive Maze. Just ask any newcomer to town as they try to figure out the traffic pattern around McDonalds. ----Live News. We have some fine news outlets that do their best to cover local happenings. . The Source, the Journal Courier, WLDS, WJIL, but if you want the up-to-the-minute skinny on what’s happening in town, just drop in on the Hardees Morning Breakfast Club. I have no idea where this group of senior reporters gets their news, but if it happened last night, they’ll know by the time your Made from Scratch Biscuit is ready. ---A Neat Edge. Jacksonville sort of tapers off to the north, stretches like tentacles southward, and oozes toward Springfield on the east, but on the west end of town it’s like someone took an X-Acto knife and sliced a clean edge between the houses and the cornfield. ---Made to Order Sushi! At last! The only oddity here is that we didn’t have it until now. ---Language Instruction. It’s game. You drive up and down Morton Avenue stopping at one of our 5,647 fast food restaurants and try to figure out what language the girl taking your order at the drive-up is speaking. My closest guess so far has been Klingon. Ferris Wheels, Nichols’ Park, colleges, bass tournaments, theatre, concerts, ballgames, shopping and historical homes. . . all fine, but if you want to attract a crowd let’s go for the oddballs.