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Puppets Are Weird

The Source

It was one of the strangest camp songs I’d ever heard. In fact, I can’t remember the title but the song’s theme was, “You can’t trust a puppet.” Among the stories told in the song was the tale of a young boy who’s mother would take hot pies out of the stove with an oven mitt that looked like a cat’s head. The songwriter claimed he’s still afraid of puppets because his mom would put down the hot pie then chase him around the house with the cat’s head shouting, “Ahhh! I burnt my tongue! I burnt my tongue!” Bottom line: puppets are weird. Bottom-er line: camp songs aren’t what they used to be. About 20 brave actors and singers have spent their summer around puppets as we’ve readied the summer show for the Jacksonville Theatre Guild. The musical features puppets onstage with live actors. (As opposed to dead actors, I guess.) The result has been two months of talking to fuzzy-faced little critters that over the course of time have somehow….dare I say it?....come to life. Seven actors are in charge of making the puppets go and since the performers are not hidden behind a curtain but actually onstage with their puppets, we’ve observed an eerie phenomenon. Either the puppeteers have grown to look like their puppets, or the little animated balls of fur have come to resemble their owners. I honestly don’t know which. After audition results were announced I handed a blue peacock to a lanky young man from Ashland. He’s a good-looking kid and in no way resembled a shell-shocked bird, but then something began to happen. As the rehearsals progressed, Brandon and Screech began to morph into each other. I know Brandon’s parents and they in no way resemble peacocks, but something very strange took place. Brandon and the bird have become one. T.J. Maul no more looks like a bug-eyed orange cat than I resemble Tom Hanks, but night after night the two have mutated into a single cat-boy. When a little girl named Emma came to auditions no one shouted, “Wow! She looks like an angry rooster!” but as the summer progressed poor little Emma has become downright…well…cocky. A beautiful JHS girl named Maddy has come to resemble a penguin, a Beardstown girl has somehow taken on the gentle countenance of a contented gnu, another gorgeous JHS grad has somehow transformed the ugly countenance of a crocodile, and to stay in her good graces I won’t mention what’s happened to a girl holding a monkey. It’s just plain strange. The puppeteers themselves have been through a shortened version of Navy Seal training as they’ve learned to work their little artificial animals into submission. Who knew what a strain it would be to hold your right arm in the air for two hours, wrist bent, while working a pair of arms with your other hand and moving the puppet’s mouth precisely to the words in the script? Okay, I had an idea how tough it would be, but in a fit of cowardice I didn’t tell the actors at the auditions. They’re discovering some interesting things on your own. Try it: when you raise your right arm and bend your wrist, your hand turns naturally to the left. This is not good unless you want your puppet to spend the entire evening staring at the wall. Another discovery: a furry puppet is a hot puppet. It’s not unusual to see a puppet lying backstage…steaming. And here’s where the plot takes an even stranger bent: I told the actors that they could avoid taking the puppets home each night and I’d provided a place at the Sophie Leschin auditorium to store them after rehearsal. Even after five weeks, the actors still carry them out the door each night. They keep them on their laps when I give notes to the cast before and after each rehearsal. They are not going to let go of those puppets. I may have a battle on my hands. The puppets for the show were purchased by Aquatic Treasures pet store so they technically belong to the Theatre Guild, but who’s going to try to wrest these little rascals off the actors’ arms when the show closes? We could be looking at a bloody battle. I’ve considered hiding the puppets on closing night and telling the cast that they’ve all been kidnapped or perhaps shipped off to the Broadway opening, but I doubt that will work. In addition to being skilled puppeteers, they’re a pretty sharp group. We may have to try therapy for post-partum-puppet-dom. Hey…puppets are fun, kids and adults love them, they make our show unique and entertaining, but you’ve got to admit: despite their cuddly qualities, puppets are weird.