Rollin’ Up The River
The Source
By Ken Bradbury, Travel correspondent to The Source
Okay, I’ll be up front with this: my idea of “roughing it” is making my own bed in a Ramada Inn. God did not design my spine along the contours of an Army surplus tent floor stretched out over a mole-hilled campground. I’m serious..my big concession to nature is hanging up my towel in a Best Western for use on the following day. That’s why I’m not much into nature writing, but with the sound of budget belts tightening all over the country, I’m an advocate of using the resources of nature (and the state of Illinois) to come up with low-cost vacations. Let’s begin with the fact that we already own our state parks. The closest state park to Jacksonville is Lincoln’s New Salem and I have personally staked out my share of its 700 acres. (With an Illinois population of 13 million, it comes to 2.36 square feet.) Mine is about half-way through biking trail number three, some twenty feet to you left, and encircled with ring of French fries…at least that’s where I left them. The two biggies in our shank of the state lie directly up river at Starved Rock, and downstream at Pere Marquette. Both are an easy drive from Jacksonville and both offer a bounty of things to do and see without injuring your spine or a spine near and dear to you. The two parks are remarkably similar in layout and what they have to offer, and both lodges were constructed by the Civilian Conservation Corps boys in the 1930s. If you want to camp, that’s fine with me, but remember: bears a saber tooth tigers once roamed Illinois and it’d be just my luck to turn Boy Scout on the night they return. Both parks derive their beauty and sense of adventure from the canyons formed by glacial melt over the centuries, and both offer a bucket load of hiking, boating, and just-plain-fooling-around options. Enough about the parks… as you remember from your first prom, half the fun was getting there. And I can think no better nor cheaper way to access either of these Illinois showplaces than on a paddle-wheeled riverboat. It’s named The Spirit of Peoria, a three-decked replica of the old show boats that used to ply the Illinois Rivers, and for my money it’s the best way to see either Starved Rock or Pere Marquette. Drive to Peoria, hand over your luggage and hop on. For $309 per person you take a two-day, one-night cruise northward to the Rock or for $475 you can head downstream for three days and two nights to St. Louis by way of Pere Marquette. This includes everything…the boat, lodging, meals, tour guides, and complimentary drinks. For my money it’s the best vacation deal in Central Illinois. I’ll be honest … I’ve only taken the Starved Rock tour. The down river cruise makes its first overnight in Meredosia where you’re bussed to Jacksonville for lodging. Although I’d love to see our part of the world from the river, I’ve never convinced myself to pay for lodging when the tour bus passes my own house. But oh, the delights the Spirit of Peoria has to offer! Let’s get serious and start with spiritual side of the journey….the food is great. Buffet breakfast as soon as you board, a scrumptious deli buffet for lunch, wine and cheese mid-afternoon, then the prime rib just before you dock at Starved Rock. The next day offers a similar fare, all cooked on the boat, and quite seriously some of the most delicious buffet food I’ve tasted. It’s entertainment from shove-off to docking with a three-person crew of ragtime piano player, storyteller, and folk singer holding forth on the mid-deck and if you choose instead to stay outdoors and watch the Illinois river towns go by, the entertainers will likely find you and serenade you in your deck chair. KB’s tip: do not fall asleep near the calliope. The Spirit has a genuine, old-time calliope on the aft end of the top deck and that’s also the choice place to catch a few rays. Bev the keyboard player has a penchant for tooting her pipes whenever the boat nears a town and the calliope has only one volume. It’s called “Death.” In fact, the only thing worse than lounging on deck three when Bev’s honker goes off is to be sitting underneath the loungers on deck two. How can it be raining in the sunshine? Once the Spirit of Peoria sticks it nose into the mud of Starved Rock (I’m not kidding..there’s no dock), you’ll be bussed up to the Great Lodge where you luggage will be awaiting you in your room. If you’re lucky the weather will permit a quick stroll around the park before the evening’s entertainment, a fellow from Peoria who does the most remarkably Mark Twain impersonation I’ve ever witnessed. Then it’s off to the pool or Jacuzzi or simply another stroll around the grounds (remembering the above admonition about the return of saber tooth tigers), and you’re ready to plop into one of the lodge’s heavy rooms. Heavy. Nothing is light at Starved Rock. This furniture wasn’t made of plastic in some overseas sweatshop and purchased in mass quantities for a chain of American motels. Entire forests gave their lives to furnish some of these rooms. When you plop into a chair it swallows you with a cottony gulp. If you can drag yourself out of bed the next morning you’ll be treated to the smiling face of Brian Fox Ellis the storyteller and Barry Cloyd the guitar man, who’ll lead your fearless group of travelers up to the fabled Starved Rock itself. KB’s tip: tigers don't come out in the daytime, so take the hike. Besides, Fox and Barry are walking encyclopedias of Illinois geology and botany. You never feel like you’re “on tour.” It’s a mile’s walk back to the boat or they’ll shuttle the wimps down in their trolley, and you spend your second day seeing what you missed on the first with a similar compliment of feasting and fun. Gimme all that for 309 bucks and I’ll thank you. More than that, my back will thank you.