← Columns

The Odd Bits

The Source

Anthony Bordain, one of my favorite travel writers, says that the best part of eating in exotic lands is that, “You get to taste the odd bits.” Bordain’s tongue is more adventuresome than mine as he gobbles down fish eyeballs and tree larvae in various parts of the world. Yet, I agree that it’s the “odd bits” of travel that stick with me most securely. Oddities like…. “Le Truck” in Tahiti. High speed rail, eat your heart out. If you want to get anywhere in this small island country you simply wave at Le Truck as it nears you. You hop on this open air, wooden-benched vehicle and when you arrive at your destination you shout, “Hey!” Easy-peasy. …for about two dollars anywhere. My Jacksonville area students loved the experience…that is, after they learned to stop shouting “Hey!” every time we passed a nude beach. I’ve not had to use this service, but if you stay in the Denali Lodge in Alaska and want to be awakened should Mt. McKinley come into sight, they’ll wake you…3 in the morning or whenever it pops its head out of the clouds. Speaking of wakeup calls, there’s nothing like having a London hotel clerk look at your bright-eyed, mostly female group and ask, “What time would you like your girls knocked up in the morning?” He looked at my startled face and said, “Oh. Sorry. You’re a Yank, aren’t you? We knock on the doors to awaken our guests.” And there’s nothing that will foster close international relations like having someone approach you on the streets of Moscow and offer to buy your pants. It happened to us again and again as our jean-clad group of from Triopia and Jacksonville walked across the Russian pavement. Levi jeans were at a premium in Moscow and they were willing to pay you dearly as long as you didn’t mind walking back to the hotel in your underwear. (I don’t wear jeans.) Tooth brushing Water in Spain. We were checking into our Madrid Hotel when the desk clerk offered us bottles of water to use when we brushed our teeth. When I asked her about the strange arrangement she said, “So many American tourists are afraid to drink the water. …so we give them this.” When I asked the difference in the tap water and the stuff she was dispensing, she said, “Nada. But it makes them feel healthier.” Prawn-on-a-Stick. Deep fried on the streets of Sydney, Australia, resembling a cozy dog. I want this for my final meal. …one of the best things I ever ate. Kangaroo-bobs on a stick on the streets of Sydney: if I ever have another it’ll be too soon. Purchasing toilet paper by the sheet in the restrooms of a Roman cathedral. It makes one stop to think on things that you’ve never considered. Quantity? Uh....I’ve never really pondered that one. I do know that the response given by one of my girls from Pittsfield, “Just give me the damn stuff! Quick!” is not the proper answer if you want service. My brother Keith found that if you reach up and ring the bell hanging above your table at a bar in Heidelberg, Germany, that means you intend to buy rounds for the entire house. Post-script to the above “bit”: A tavern full of Japanese tourists becomes very happy when a curious American reaches up and rings the bell. For some reason they stand up and begin doing “The Bird Dance.” The guides to Scotland’s Edinburgh Castle walk up the steep cobblestone hill backward. They’re usually elderly gentlemen, usually war veterans. When you ask them while they’re walking backwards, they’ll tell you, “Try it. You can climb easier and don’t have to pull your weight behind you on each step.” I tried it. Travel note: before you walk up the slope to Edinburgh Castle backwards you should know where you’re going. I only know enough French to find the bathroom, so when I ordered a crepe at a sidewalk stand on the Champs Elysees, I simply pointed at a flavor and took my chances. Walking in Paris is idyllic, but as I strode the wide Parisian boulevard the town seemed to be more heavenly than usual. In fact, the trees began to spin around. Then the sidewalk started moving. Mental note: “rhum blanc” means white rum. Silly me. I made the same mistake the next day..and the next…and the next. Enjoy your travels this summer, see all the great tourists sights, and devour the specialties of each country, but if you want to remember the trip, sample the odd bits.