5 -6 minute monlogue

KB ... I noted some ideas as I read it. The humor and charm come from the story through the eyes of a first grader. I have suggested changing a few words that seem to destroy that illusion. In that regard, I also have a little trouble with the expression “good night nurse.” That seems out of place for a first grader. It would seem more realistic to have a “younger” expression such as “Jiminy Crickets” or “Jumpin’ Johoshafats.” Let me know if your reaction to any of the suggestions. Bob…..Your changes make sense. I do like the Good Night Nurse for some reason, and perhaps not a very good one. I’m always delighted by little kids who come in using the expressions of their parents and grandparents, assuming that the whole world uses them. That’s what I was trying to achieve here. Perhaps it falls a bit flat on the ear. I was particularly taken with this expression the first time I heard it. But…. whatever. If you think it’s a bit to mature, then it’s fine with me to change it. When I read this version, I remembered that I’d written an edited version of the story a few days ago (speech practice days are hectic and I truly forget what I’ve written)…. the original ran over the six minute time limit. In editing it (I’m using it in a category for free verse) I put in the repeated couplets which I’ve inserted here for you to look at. They sort of give a little kick to it… or perhaps a boot, I don’t know. ANOTHER MATTER: Did you send me just one download? I thought you made reference to other stuff but I could only find this. You should also have received Bobby Malone from me. I’m watching the parades this morning and thinking of you in your temperate climate. I have a boy who’s writing an original comedy which might be of use to us. I send it to you if it’s something worth considering. AND ONE MORE MATTER: Gary Motta of Greenfield (their speech coach and a pretty talented fellow dramatically… for a Methodist minister) has written “The True Story of the Elephant Man” from his original research. He asked if we could put the Consortium stamp on the piece long enough to get it through IHSA contest. I took the liberty of telling him to send it to me. I don’t know that he’s talking about actual publication but at least the appearance. It’s a group interp (Reader’s Theatre) and knowing Gary’s work, it might be worth considering to beef up our Readers Theatre collection a bit. AND ONE MORE: Our “Jack Boy” is turning into one of the best things we’ve done in that category.

Wolf Tale by Ken Bradbury

(This selection is protected by the copyright laws. It is illegal to reproduce this document by any process. The only real protection for those who produce this material for your use is the good faith in your integrity. Thank you.)

Yes’m, the teacher sent me here to the office.Yes’m, I’ll just sit here. Yes’m, I’ll shut up. … No, you won’t hear a peep outa me the rest o’ the day. Yes’m, I know you’ve called my mama ta come get me and she’ll more’n likely go hollerin’ to daddy. I know I shouldn’t of said what I did.

The teacher sent me here and I know she’s mad. I know all that, so there ain’t no need to bring it all up again. Yea, I know you’ve heard enough. That’s Ok, M’am, I’ll shut up.

… But I don’t think it’s fair, and I want you to know that. I mean, what’s a boy to do? Just what’s a boy to do? I mean, it’s only my second day of first grade And I ain’t got the lay of this place yet. See … Mrs. Waters was tellin’ this God-awful stupid story about … Yes’m. I didn’t mean to take God’s name in vain. Yea, I know you’ve heard enough. That’s Ok, M’am, I’ll shut up.

… But I swear, if God had heard this stupid story, He’d of thought it awful, too! He would! The story? It was about pigs! I swear to … to somebody … that Mrs. Waters was tellin’ a story about pigs. Three of ‘em! Pigs! Talkin’! Good night nurse! And they call this an education! Yea, I know you’ve heard enough. That’s Ok, M’am, I’ll shut up. Pigs. Humph! ‘Spect us to swallow that. Just jabberin’ on amongst theirselves like they was real people. Ma’am, I know pigs! Now, there’s lot’s o’ stuff that I don’t know but I do know my pigs! I mean, I don’t know everbody’s pigs, but I sure as thunder know mine.

‘Spect us to believe that … hogwash? Good night nurse! Yea, I know you’ve heard enough. That’s Ok, M’am, I’ll shut up.

But the thing of it is, they wasn’t just talkin’, They was buildin’ cabins! A pig buildin’ a cabin! Ma’am, I know for a fact that hog’s barely Got enough sense to come in outa the rain! And these pigs was in the construction business! Good night nurse! Oh I know … my family’s been in the hills since granddad got busted for runnin’ a stil behind the Baptist church but dog-gone it, that don’t make us stupid! Least I know a hog can’t drive a nail! Yes’m. I’ll shut up now… Stupid pigs … What? Nothin’. I’m shuttin’ up this time … for good.

You ever heard of a house made of straw? You ain’t? You see what I mean? The teacher said that pigs can talk, build houses, And they make ‘em out of wheat straw to boot! Good night nurse! What’s she take me for, a fool? Then “sticks” … a pig who don’t know his snout from a hole in the ground is gonna build a cabin outa sticks! When I think what I gave up just to come to this school!

OK! OK! I know that’s no excuse for what I said, But gol-dang it, that sort o’ foolishness is just hard to swallow! Pigs! Sticks! Straw! Good night nurse! I thought I’s gonna lose my mind! And I’m gonna shut up right now! Yes’m! I promise.

Could I say just this one more thing? I promise I’ll shut up just as soon as I’ve said it. I will. Wolves don’t eat hogs. I ain’t lyin’ about this. Oh, a hungry wolf’ll carry off two or three from a new litter, but in the name of the Almighty, not a full-grown hog! Why would he? They squeal, they stink, they’re mostly fat and what’s more, a grown hog’s bigger than any wolf I ever seen! They are! Can I tell you somethin’? I don’t think Mrs. Waters would know a wolf If it came right up and bit her on the … Yea, I know you’ve heard enough. That’s Ok, M’am, I’ll shut up. What? Why exactly did I say that to the teacher? Well … Uhhh … I promised to shut up, And you know me. I always keep my word. OK! Fair ‘enough. I’ll talk to the principal when he comes in. I’m shuttin’ up now.

… You reckon he’s ever seen a pig? I mean one that’s strong enough to build a house, Smart enough to give a speech But stupid and puny enough to get carried off by a mangy old wolf? That is one strange hog! Either that or he’s the dumbest pig I ever laid eyes on. Good night nurse! Gimme a half-smart cow any day! Lady, I got dogs with more sense than these pigs! I swear! I do!

What? What’s that you say? Mrs. Waters has gone home for the day? What’s a “nervous breakdown?” Huh? Reckon hog’s can get that too? ‘Cause if’n they can, all that heavy construction’s surely got Them pigs nervous. I mean, you build the thing outa sticks and straw All the time lookin’ over your shoulder For fear of bein’ some wolf’s lunch. Good night nurse, it’s a wonder They didn’t die of ulcers! My Grandad did. Either that or it was the whiskey.

Hi mama. …‘Lo Daddy. Yeh, I know. I know it was wrong. You gonna take me home now? What a way to start off first grade.

‘ But wait’ll you hear this story! What did I say? You ain’t gonna smack me if I say it again? Here’s the story: there were these poor, stupid little pigs all huddled Inside a house that was already about to cave in on ‘em; They had college degrees in house-buildin’, they could talk … I mean, they just had the whole world goin’ for ‘em And here came the big bad wolf And Mrs. Waters said, “The Wolf huffed and he puffed And he blew the house down!” I couldn’t believe it! I just stood up and, just like daddy, I said, “Now ain’t that a hell of a note!”

Yea, I know you’ve heard enough. That’s OK, now, I’ll shut up.

END

WOLF TALE - PAGE 3