A Christmas Cookie
By Ken Bradbury
Cast: Queen Princess Servant 2 Beggar girl Mary Servant 1 Joseph Servant 2 Sheep Mother Shepherds Wise Men
Opening song with full cast before dialogue “I Have Seen the Light” in minor.
Scene 1
Servant 1: Have you seen her?
Servant 2: No, but I’ve heard her. Everybody’s heard her.
Queen: (voice offstage) Get out of my way!
Servant 2: I’m out of here!
Servant 1: Are you a coward?
Servant 2: Yep!
Princess: She yelled at me! Queen Carlota yelled at me! Her own princess!
A moment of silence.
Servant 2: Maybe she’s cooled down.
Queen: (entering) She never cools down.
Servant 2: Forget I said that.
Princess: I was just cooking Christmas dinner and she yelled at me!
Queen: Get out of my way!
Servant 1: Get down!
Queen: I’m NOT a happy camper!
Princess: We’re sorry your majesty.
Queen: It’s Christmas and I’m supposed to be happy! And when the Queen ain’t happy….
All: Ain’t nobody happy.
Princess: But what about Santa Claus?
Queen: A pot belly bother.
Servant 1 : Mistletoe and holly?
Queen: They aggravate my asthma.
Servant 2: Christmas trees?
Queen: They make me itch! Get up you fools! We MUST be happy. I’ll give you 30 minutes to make me smile or off with your heads!
Servant 2: You first, I’m already short!
Sound of Crying
Queen: Quiet, do you hear something?
Sound of Crying
Servant 1: Dr. Kay’s stomach growling? Maybe he hasn’t had supper yet.
Servant 2: Yeah, but he wears cool ties.
Queen: No, listen. Something’s making a noise. And you know I can’t stand loud noises. It sounds like when we had the bagpipes in church. Go find it you fools! Servants 1 & 2 exit
Queen: If you don’t come up with something quick I’m going to have your head for Christmas.
Princess: But your majesty, we already have everything money can buy. What can possibly make you happy?
Servant 2: We’ve got her your majesty.
Queen: A rat! I asked for a toy and you bring me a rat in rags!!
Servant 1: She’s a girl, just a poor beggar girl.
Queen: She looks like she just sat through two days of Presbytery Conference. Just what do you think you’re doing ruining my Christmas!
Beggar: I was hungry your majesty. My family has no home. We must beg for food at Christmas!
Queen: Well, then be quiet about it!
Beggar: Ooh! (Falls to the floor)
Queen: Now what!
Beggar: I can hardly stand your majesty.
Servant 2: I can hardly stand her either.
Queen: What!!
Servant 2: Nothing…nothing.
Queen: Look you little ragamuffin, let’s play a game. You find a way to make me smile and I’ll find a way to feed you.
Beggar: But, how can I …..
Queen: Look, I don’t care how! What’s the difference? You won’t last the night anyway! Quick do something. Don’t just stand there and die! I just had the carpet cleaned!
Beggar: How about a story?
Queen: Yes, tell me a story. I’m serious. Surely, your momma told you a story.
Beggar: Well, I have a favorite story.
Servant 1: Try anything kid, we’re desperate.
Beggar: Once upon a time there was this lady and she was going to have a baby. And her name was Mary. (Mary enters)
Queen: That’s it? Mary? Not “The Great Mary” or “The Queen Mary?” That was a great boat! I used to own it. So this Mary…she was…uh..married?
Beggar: To the man called Joseph. (Joseph enters) An angel had appeared to them (angel appears) to tell them that she would give birth to a son who would change the world.
Queen: Wal-Mart? He owned Wal-Mart?
Beggar: Truly change the world… and the angel guided them to a place where she was to give birth to her son.
Queen: Does this story get better? I hate dull stories. So far it sounds like a re-run of The Cosby Show.
Beggar: It’s a marvelous story, your Majesty.
Queen: Then hurry up, child. Christmas is coming and I’m still not smiling.
Beggar: So Mary and Joseph….they…(the beggar grabs her stomach)
Queen: What’s the matter?
Servant 1: It’s her hunger, your Majesty. (The Beggar falls into the arms of the servant) She must rest…(and the scene shifts to the choir as the servants try to revive the Beggar)
Sing “Ode to Joy” here.
Scene 2:
Queen: Well? Where’s the rest of my story? Is that all you can do…just stand there and faint from hunger? Tell your silly tale, child.
Beggar: But it’s a true story!
Queen: Don’t tell me…the boy grew up to be rich and famous, picked the right investment securities and ran for the senate. I’ve heard this before.
Beggar: The little boy never was rich like you, your majesty.
Queen: Figures!
Beggar: But he was wonderful.
Queen: How in the world can He be wonderful without being rich?
Beggar: Well, his mother loved Him very much. She called Him Jesus.
Servant 2: Is she making this up?
Servant 1: Be quiet!
Beggar: His bed was made out of straw, but it was filled with……..well with Glory.
Servant 1: Is that like Styrofoam?
Beggar: No, she was told by an angel she was going to have a boy. And the angel even knew the little boy’s name.
Queen: Fred, I like the name Fred.
Beggar: No, it was a wonderful, beautiful name. And others…(the shepherds enter).. the others heard about it him, too.
Queen: What others? Why didn’t I know?
Beggar: Simple shepherds heard of his birth from the angels.
Queen: They told poor sheep-herders and didn’t say a thing to me? Wait ‘til I get my hands on those angels!
Beggar: The angels, your Majesty. The angels only talk to those who will listen.
Servant 1: Uh-oh.
Servant 2: Sounds like mutton for dinner.
Beggar: The shepherds came to the place where Jesus lay.
Queen: Was it catered?
Beggar: I’m…I’m sorry…(she begins to fade again).. I’m so very hungry.
“While Shepherds Watched” & “Go Tell It”
Scene 3
Queen: (leaning over the fallen Beggar) Hello!!!! Look at this face! Do you see a smile?
Beggar: I can hardly see anything, your Majesty. I’m sorry. I’m so hungry.
Queen: No smile, no food. You know this is really very selfish of you. I mean, to make someone smile should be such a simple thing. So far, your story just makes me sadder.
Beggar: But it’s the happiest story I know!
Queen: A poor couple, a few poor shepherds. I suppose that the sheep were poor as well?
Beggar: None of God’s creatures are poor, your Majesty. And yes! There were lots and lots of sheep! (and the sheep come running in)
Queen: (horrified) Ah! Ah! Animals! Animals in my throne room!
Princess: (petting the sheep) Aren’t they cute, your Highness?
Queen: Animals! They probably have bugs! The bugs have germs! I’m dying! I’m dying!
Princess: Oh don’t be silly. Just look at them. They’re darling!
Servant 1: (to Servant 2) Who let the sheep in? We’ve had it now. Just send my body to my mother.
Queen: Can someone tell me why there’s a fluffy thing eating my gown? Time’s running out. What can you possibly tell me to make me happy when I already have everything in the world?
Beggar: You don’t have everything.
Queen: What ! What can’t I possibly have? Have you been holding out on me? What could you possibly have that I don’t!
Beggar: Well?
Servant 1: Well?
Servant 2: Well?
Princess: Well?
Beggar: Well, everything. Because of that little baby boy, I have everything in the whole world!
Queen: You have nothing! Just look at you!
Beggar: Everything you have, your Majesty…will be gone someday. But the little baby gave me something that will last forever.
Queen: That’s supposed to make me smile? I see nothing funny about a poor beggar girl, coming into my castle telling me she has something that I don’t!
Beggar: You see, the little boy’s message of love spread all over the whole world.
Princess: I think that’s just beautiful.
Queen: Oh, you would! But just how did this little boy’s message get all over the world?
Beggar: Oh, the whole world knew..those that were listening. Three Wise Men (Wise Men enter) from far, far away.
Queen: Aha! They were looking for their stolen sheep!
Beggar: No…they were looking for…the Shepherd…The One True King.
Queen: Does my husband know that?
“Manger Throne”
“One True King”
Scene 4
Beggar: I can’t tell much more. I’m too weak.
Servant 2: Good!
Queen: We’re about out of time. It’s Christmas morning and I’m still not happy.
Mother: Millie?
Beggar: Mommy?
Queen: Good grief! Do we have locks on this castle? I hope you came for the sheep.
Servant 2: I’ll take care of it……..She’s too tall, you do it!
Princess: Who are you?
Mother: I’m Millie’s mother. Sorry about this your highness.
Queen : It’s too late for that.
Mother: Please forgive us. Come on Millie.
Beggar: But mommy I’m so hungry!
Mother: Look! Look what I found. It’s a cookie! A Christmas Cookie someone must have dropped on the street.
Beggar: A cookie! Mommy, I’ve never had my own Christmas cookie!
Mother: Merry Christmas Millie. Let’s not bother these people . I’m very sorry your highness.
Queen: Yah, whatever. Please…take a lamb chop or two with you.
Mother: Come child, let’s go and celebrate our Christmas.
Princess: That’s all! That’s all you two are having for Christmas?
Mother: It’s enough.
Beggar: Wait mommy.
Mother: Please, Millie…look at the way she’s staring at us.
Beggar: Wait a moment! (Gives cookie to the Queen.)
Queen: What’s this?
Beggar: It’s Christmas.
Queen: But that’s all you have.
Beggar: That little boy…He gave all he had too.
Queen: But you’ll starve.
Beggar: It doesn’t matter, if I can not give Christmas, well, then it won’t be Christmas.
Queen: But …why? What’s the reason?
Beggar: He said…well, he said that We are the reason he gave his life. You are the reason, your Majesty.
(Queen smiles.)
Princess: The Queen is…..
Servant 2: She’s…..
Servant 1: Look Princess! She’s smiling!
Princess: The Queen is smiling!
Queen: You’d do that for me?
Beggar: He would. That little baby boy did this for you.
Princess: Now she’s crying.
Servant 2: Uh, oh.
Queen: Quickly Millie, go get your family. Let’s open up the kitchen princess! We’ve got company for supper. (to the sheep) And don’t worry…no mutton tonight.
Beggar: And if you listen, your Majesty..if you listen very closely, the little boy’s song is still out there….
BEGGAR: (singing) As little children We would dream of Christmas morn Of all the gifts and toys We knew we'd find But we never realized A baby born one blessed night Gave us the greatest gift of our lives
ALL: We were the reason That He gave His life We were the reason That He suffered and died To a world that was lost He gave all He could give To show us the reason to live
SOLO: As the years went by We learned more about gifts The giving of ourselves And what that means On a dark and cloudy day A man hung crying in the rain All because of love, all because of love
I've finally found the reason for living It's in giving every part of my heart to Him In all that I do every word that I say I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him
He is my reason to live
“I Have Seen the Light”
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