Burns & Allen Add On

RICHARD: Okay, just one more . . . A salesman from Budweiser goes to the Vatican and tells the Pope. . BRUCE: Holy Father, I will give you ten million dollars to change the words, “give us this day our daily bread,” to “give us this day our daily beer.” RICHARD: The Pope refused. BRUCE: Okay, fifty million. RICHARD: The Pope refused. The man left, the Pope picked up the phone and said. . . GARY: Monsignor…it’s me. Tell me. . .when does our contract with General Mills expire?

(Music as the group changes stools) (1 Bruce, 2 Gary, 3 Jeff, 4 Laurie, 5 Katie, 6 Rich)

KATIE: Remember 1932? Okay, I don’t. But those were the great days of radio. Grandma and Grandpa would gather around the radio and turn the dial to find their favorite show.

GARY: In those days you named the show after the sponsor, so this married couple named George Burns and Gracie Allen became the stars of the Maxwell House Coffee Time.

KATIE: People listened to radio back then?

GARY: I’ll forget you said that, Katie. (ala old-time radio voice) “Ladies and Gentlemen..Maxwell House Coffee . . “Good to the last drop!”…present George Burns and Grace Allen!

(music up and out)

Rich and Laurie do their Burns & Allen sketch

BRUCE: Perhaps the most traditional form of the joke is the one-liner. . .Think Henny Youngman, Milton Berle . . .

JEFF: Rodney Dangerfield. . .Johnny Carson. . .

BRUCE: Andy Ezard.