← Scripts

Ellie: Hi God.

God: Ellie.. .good to see you again.

Ellie: It’s PAC!

God: Sure is.

Ellie: My best time of year.

God: Me too. And I’ve got an even better seat than you do.

Ellie: Okay. . . something really funny this morning, Lord.

God: What’s that?

Ellie: This morning when we were helping the campers register?

God: Yeah?

Ellie: This was this girl. . .it was so funny. Oh, wait a minute. She’s out here right now. I better not tell it.

God: Oh, go ahead. We’re at PAC. It’s a good place to laugh.

Ellie: Okay. I hope she doesn’t get mad. There was this girl. . .she was a first-time camper and she came up to me and I said, “Do you have any questions” and she said, “Yeah. What is PAC?” I mean, she was standing right there at camp and she asked what PAC was.

God: What’s so funny about that?

Ellie: She was at PAC, Lord! And she asked me what it was.

God: So what did you tell her?

Ellie: Huh?

God: She asked the question so what did you tell her?

Ellie: Well. . .it was kind of hard to answer.

God: Like Kyler and his Magic Chair?

Ellie: What?

God: You’ve never heard of Kyler and his Magic Chair?

Ellie: Am I hearing you right?

God: Kyler! Come on up here and bring your magic chair. (Kyler grabs a chair and comes to near Elllie)

Ellie: (to Kyler) You have a Magic Chair?

Kyler: Sure do.

God: Just watch this, Ellie. Kyler’s Magic Chair can be a lot of things. (Kyler acts out each of the following as God describes them, moving the chair to be the various objects) It can be a chair. . . (he sits) . . . It can be a mountain . . . (he stands on the chair) . . . It can be a boat. . . .(he sits and rows) . . . .Or an airplane. . .(he holds the chair up and makes wings of it and flies) . . . Or maybe his Magic Chair can be a hurdle. . (hurdles it) . . .or a beautiful girl . . . (he hugs it) . . .or maybe a 1957 8-cylindar Chevy coupe with mudflaps, a turbo-charger, white wall tires with a Dolby 8-speaker stereo system, spinner hubcaps, and a bobble-head doll of a puppy dog glued to the dash. . . in red. (Kyler looks at the chair, then looks up at God. Thinks a minute, then picks up the chair again and hugs it instead.)

Ellie: I love it.

God: Thank you, Kyler. You’re a good boy. (Kyler bows and exits.)

Ellie: That was cute. . . but uh . . . just one thing, Lord.

God: Yeah?

Ellie: What the heck did it mean?

God: What was Kyler’s Magic chair?

Ellie: Anything he wanted it to be, I guess. (a long beat) Oh. I think I get it.

God: That’s PAC. . . whatever you want it to be. You can sit and watch. . .or you can jump in with both feet.

Ellie: That sounds like you, Lord.

God: I think you’re getting it, Ellie.

Ellie: The closer I get to you . . .

God: Yeah?

Ellie: . . .the happier I am. My life with you. . . it can be anything I want it to be.

God: I think you may be on to something there, kid.

Ellie: (a long beat, then) It’s good to be back, Lord.

God: And I’m even happier than you are, Ellie.

Ellie: Know where I’m going now?

God: Where?

Ellie: Right back there. I’ve got a Magic Chair waiting for me. (she exits)