Hannah's Monolgue
Look, I am not nervous! (a breath, then to someone beside you) Don’t tell me I’m nervous when I say I’m not nervous! You don’t know how nervous I am. Okay, when I’m nervous my hands shake. (holding out hands) Look at that! Like a rock! (looks at hands and quickly hides them) Damn. No! No! That was nothing. That was absolutely nothing! Just because you do something for the first time that doesn’t mean you’re nervous about it. I’ve done gobs of stuff for the first time. Everything I’ve done in my whole life I did for the first time! That’s how you start things! You do them for the first time. I was potty trained before I could walk! Nerves…kidney’s…everything…like steel! What’s that noise? I am not jumpy! Don’t tell me I’m jumpy…I’m just…curious. I like to know my noises. Look, this is a piece of cake and I know my piece of cakes. I may look helpless and confused but on the inside there’s a courageous tiger woman who laughs in the face of fear! Yes! I laugh! Listen to me! Ha! Ha! That was my tiger woman laugh! What? Now? It’s….? You mean I’m completely out of time? (crumbles a bit, cries a bit, dies a bit, then…) Give me that damned wedding gown!