I, 1. Joel and God
JOEL: Hey Lord….
GOD: Hey Joel…
JOEL: Isn’t it great?
GOD: Always is.
JOEL: Just like I remembered…soon as I left last year I started counting the days ‘til I came back.
GOD: Me too! …(a beat) Why?
JOEL: Why what?
GOD: Why are you glad to be back? Why are you glad you’re here?
JOEL: Well…I mean you know…
GOD: I know I know. Now you tell me.
JOEL: Well…just look at ‘em! (the audience) My friends! School’s out and we’re together and we’re having so much fun this weekend…you know…
GOD: Yeah. I know. What else?
JOEL: You mean like…what’s the best part?
GOD: Yeah. What’s the best part.
JOEL: Well…where do I start? The performances, and the small groups, the campfire, and the food…heck, I even like sleepin’ in the dorms with all my new friends.
GOD: Even Brennan?
JOEL: Even Brennan.
GOD: (laughing) Good…good…what else?
JOEL: You want more?
GOD: Yep. What else do you like?
JOEL: Well…I mean, it just everything about camp. When people get up here and perform…you know…it’s so cool..Like when (name a couple of acts we’ve seen) .._______ and _______.
GOD: Yeah..Yeah was really awesome. What else?
JOEL: Boy, you’re really pumping me today, aren’t you?
GOD: That’s me. The big Pumper.
JOEL: Gosh…I mean, it’s just the way everybody acts here at camp…the way they all love each other… I just don’t see that everywhere.
GOD: I don’t either. What else?
JOEL: Man, I’m runnin’ out of things to say…What’s the best thing about PAC? Let me think..there’s surely..(and it begins to hit him) … uh….(a long beat) … I uh…I blew it, didn’t I?
GOD: Blew what?
JOEL: Naming the best thing about PAC. I sort of forgot something.
GOD: I can’t think of a thing.
JOEL: Now you’re playin’ with me. (a beat, then) You. I forgot to mention you.
GOD: No you didn’t.
JOEL: I didn’t?
GOD: That’s all you’ve talked about is me…
JOEL: But I didn’t…
GOD: The performances, the small groups, the campfire, the food, your friends and the fun…. That’s me, Joel. Don’t feel guilty about that.
JOEL: Cool. I never thought of it that way.
GOD: And that’s the only mistake you made. Every time you have fun out here..that’s me. When you get up there and do a mime or a dance…that’s me… and when your friend just looks at you and hugs you…That’s me all the way. Don’t feel guilty for having a great time because of me.
JOEL: That’s so weird…because when I was little…I thought God was this big mean guy who was ready to punish me every time I did something wrong.
GOD: I could do that.
JOEL: (moving toward the audience) I know…I know…but when I got older…well…Heck, I found out…. You know…
GOD: I know I know…but tell me.
JOEL: (moving dangerously close to someone in the front row) I found out how much you loved me.
GOD: Hey! Watch where you’re going. You’re about to step on ________.
JOEL: Oh. Sorry.
GOD: You think I stopped you because I was mad?
JOEL: Well…no. You just didn’t want me to get hurt.
GOD: (a beat, then) Are you starting to get it now?
JOEL: (a beat) Hey..I’ll be seein’ you, okay? (a beat) Everywhere. (he exits) PAGE
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