Matt & God I

Week 3, 2002

MATT: (enters singing) “Jesus is the rock and he rolls my blues away.. bop-shoo-wop..a-bop-shoo-wop!” Hey Lord! It’s me! Matt! I’m------back!

GOD: Where-----------you been?

MATT: Right here, Lord! At PAC camp! You know this is the best time I have with you all year long!

GOD: I know.

MATT: (stops) I know that tone. I’ve heard it before. I’ve done something wrong, right?

GOD: I wish you’d get over that.

MATT: Get over what?

GOD: Every time you think of me, it’s about doing something wrong.

MATT: But I’m a sinner, Lord!

GOD: You don’t have to tell me that. But I’ve missed you, Matt. It’s been a long twelve months. I made you because I was lonely. Ever have a friend who just stops by once a year to sing and dance?

MATT: Lord, I’m really sorry. You see, there are some places I go that…

GOD: …where I’m not welcome?

MATT: …and it’s not just where I go, Lord. The thought I think…well, they aren’t exactly the kind that ….you know.

GOD: If you only knew, Matt. If you only knew. I was there with you in those places and I’ve heard every thought you ever had.

MATT: All of ‘em?

GOD: By the way, the blonde at Hardees wants you to call her.

MATT: Whoa! Whoa! Wait minute! I get the idea! Lord, are you sure you really want to be with me when I’m thinking like that? See, at camp everything’s great but…

GOD: …but sometimes you are one bad dude.

MATT: Yea. That’s puttin’ it pretty well.

GOD: Turn around, Matt.

MATT: (begins to turn, then stops) You gonna hurt me?

GOD: I’m gonna kick your spiritual butt. (Matt turns and prepares to get hit) What’re you doing?

MATT: I’m gettin’ ready to catch a good one.

GOD: Matt, you’re a ninny.

MATT: Huh?

GOD: Turn around and look what’s in front of you. (Matt does) Look close, Matt. There on the wall. That’s where I put my boy. And because of that…because of that, I can go anywhere with you.

MATT: (turns to face DS, a long beat, then) I’m sorry, Lord. (a beat) It’s gonna be a great camp.

GOD: You have no idea. And this year, Matt…

MATT: Yea Lord?

GOD: Take me home with you.

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