Matt & God II
Week 3, 2002
MATT: (enters) Man, this is a great camp. Small groups. I love it. I guess everybody’s busy. I’ll just pray right here. (prays) Oh dear Lord of the universe, thou who in all thy spendor…
GOD: (snores)
MATT: …who in all thy splendor doth proclaim..
GOD: (snores again)
MATT: Uh..Lord. Is that you snoring?
GOD: Oh. Sorry.
MATT: I thought the scriptures said you “neither slumber nor sleep.”
GOD: That’s true. But I gotta tell you, Matt. When some people pray I almost nod off.
MATT: I bore you?
GOD: No, you fascinate me…nice shirt, by the way…but sometimes your prayers…well… I mean, who in the world are you talking to, Matt?
MATT: Huh?
GOD: Thee..thou…thy… This isn’t Hamlet, son. I just want to chat. And while we’re at it, would you mind listening a minute?
MATT: I’m all ears!
GOD: I mean when you pray. You talk and talk then you get up and walk off. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I had something to say?
MATT: Uh..no. I guess not. You mean when I pray, you….
GOD: I want a conversation, Matt, not a monologue. Can I tell you something?
MATT: Uh ..sure. You’re God.
GOD: Thanks for remembering. It’s so sad to hear people say, “Why doesn’t God speak to me?” then we they pray, they do all the talking.
MATT: But no offense, Lord. Sometimes ..well, I’m sorta rushed for time.
GOD: Like when?
MATT: Well…this afternoon..I was tryin’ to learn that dance and I couldn’t see the dance teacher and it was hot and…
GOD: So why didn’t you pray?
MATT: I could barely keep up with the dance, Lord! All I had time to say was “Help!”
GOD: Yes!
MATT: Huh?
GOD: I love that prayer! Help! Now THAT..that is a prayer. If you just holler for help then I can move any direction I want!
MATT: Sort of like “Thy will be done?”
GOD: Wow, Matt. Why didn’t I think of that line?
MATT: (a beat, then laughs) Hey…I gotta run. Catch you later?
GOD: Haven’t you heard a thing……?
MATT: I mean…come on. Let’s talk. (He leaves)
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