Travis & God I
PAC IV, 2002
TRAVIS: (enters, singing) “Here's a little song I wrote You might want to sing it note for note …Don't worry, be happy..”
GOD: (singing along) Ya pa pa pa pa pa pa…Ya pa pa pa pa pa pa….
TRAVIS: Hey God! That you? You know that song?
GOD: Know it? I wrote it.
TRAVIS: No!
GOD: At least it was my idea. That’s what I’m all about, Trav. Don’t worry.. I’m in control.. be happy.
TRAVIS: Boy I wish I could do that, Lord. I mean, I start off all happy and then I get to thinkin’ about the decisions I’ve to make…the relationships I screw up. And then before I know…poof…the joy is gone.
GOD: Listen to yourself. “I wish I could do that. I get to thinkin’…decisions I’ve got to make…” Hello! You call that giving your life to me?
TRAVIS: But I want to give you control of my life, Lord! I really do! I mean..I’m just human.
GOD: That’s your excuse? No offense, Trav, but you aren’t giving me control of the property. You just let me rent it once in a while.
TRAVIS: But it’s hard, Lord! I mean I get really down sometimes!
GOD: 20,000.
TRAVIS: Huh?
GOD: 20,000 children are going to die before they wake up tomorrow…starvation.
TRAVIS: You’re kiddin’.
GOD: I don’t kid.
TRAVIS: Sorry.
GOD: I take that back. When I made the platypus I was kidding, then somebody took me seriously…well, it all worked out.
TRAVIS: You kidding again?
GOD: No. I’m kidding about kidding. 7,000 kids are going to be abused today, Trav.
TRAVIS: I know you’re not kidding about that.
GOD: You drove to camp in a car that would feed 300 of my children for a year. The price of your CD’s would keep an entire family alive ‘til Christmas.
TRAVIS: (a long beat, then) I guess my little problems aren’t too bad, huh?
GOD: No. I care. I really do. But as long as your mind is on yourself, you aren’t doing me much good. Let’s make a deal, Trav.
TRAVIS: Go for it.
GOD: I already have. You be concerned about my people..my world.. and let me take care of you.
TRAVIS: (a long beat, then) Uh… I gotta be honest. I don’t know if I’ve got the guts to try that.
GOD: I know you don’t. You can ask me for the guts too, Trav. Seek first My Kingdom…my work, getting close to me… and Then..oh then, Trav, you would not believe what all I’m gonna add to you.
TRAVIS: Wow. You should write that down somewhere.
GOD: (a long beat, then) I did. Proverbs 3, 5 & 6.
TRAVIS: Man Lord, you can quote scripture like….(duh) .. What am I saying?
GOD: (laughing) You are a doofus, you know that? Don’t worry, the platypus came out okay. Hey, you want to spend your life feeling sorry for yourself, go ahead. But remember, that’s your choice…not my will. Let’s see if you can go through one whole camp praising me and thinking about others.
TRAVIS: (a long beat, then singing) “Here’s a little song I wrote..”
GOD: (singing) “You might want to sing it note for note
TRAVIS: (singing) “Don't worry..
GOD: ….. (singing) “……….. be happy (Travis leaves) PAGE
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