Working Copy

TIME @ "MMMM d, yyyy" December 12, 1996

(opening theme, Greg and Tony …as Johnson and Hanks …enter and run all over the stage trying to find Lincoln. Ad-lib dialogue: “Where is he?” “We gotta go! Where’s Lincoln?” The “boat” is preset at center. They can’t find him.)

GREG: Abraham! Abraham! TONY: Abraham, yer gonna miss this flatboat ta New Orleans. Ya better come on! GREG: Pork barrels, hogs and everything ready to go. Folks in New Orleans need this. TONY: Abraham! GREG: Abraham! TONY: Abraham! LINCOLN: (enters through audience) Hold ‘er boys. I’ma comin’ and rarin’ to go! (vamp as Lincoln comes hurrying down the steps, tucking in his shirttail or putting on his shoes. He climbs aboard the boat with Johnson & Hanks.)

LINCOLN, JOHNSON & HANKS: Rollin’ to New Orleans! Watch that river roll! A prairie boy’s gonna stick his toe in the Gulf of Mexico! (short tag) Skip along my lady! Skip along my gal! Skip along and wave at me I’m down the river now! (musical tag) Rollin’ to New Orleans! Watch me roll along…. Barrel o’ pork, and a bushel o’ corn, and fourteen yella hogs!

The pork is new as mornin’ The corn is mighty fresh Them yella hogs are snortin’ and make an awful mess! (short tag) Come on and roll on up the …. up the Sangamon roll! We’re gonna roll on up and… feel the prairie wind blow! Come on and roll on up and …stash your troubles below! We’re gonna roll on up the… up the Sangamon roll! (musical tag)

JOHNSON: (music under) Watch where you’re goin’, Lincoln! (they all duck to avoid overhanging willows) You nearly killed us! LINCOLN: (a glance at each, then) Uh…Look out? HANKS: (TONY) Who’s drivin’ this boat? LINCOLN: The river, I suppose. JOHNSON: Then tell the river to watch where it’s goin’! ALL THREE: (singing) Keep an eye for branches! Keep an eye for sand! Just can’t wait to try my fate in the state of Louisian! Fare thee well my lady! Fare thee well my queen! I’ll love you well then bid farewell for a town called New Orleans! (tag) Come on and roll on up the …. up the Sangamon roll! We’re gonna roll on up and… feel the prairie wind blow! Come on and roll on up and …stash your troubles below! We’re gonna roll on up the… up the Sangamon roll!

JOHNSON: (as music continue under) Never seen the river this high before! HANKS: Too derned high. I don’t like it. LINCOLN: Can’t hit nothin’ floatin’ this high, boys! HANKS: Can’t see nothin’ either! God knows what’s down there in that current! JOHNSON: Lincoln! Mind that rudder! (Lincoln is busy gazing off at the beauty of the bottom land) HANKS: Lincoln! Watch where you’re headed! LINCOLN: ‘Ja ever see such a land, boys? HANKS: (pointing straight ahead) Lincoln! A tree! (and all are thrown off their feet as Lincoln quickly jerks the rudder to one side) LINCOLN: (as the two others catch their breath from this brush with death, Lincoln idly watches the tree float by) A persimmon, seems to me. JOHNSON: Lincoln! LINCOLN: Sorry. Black Oak. I shouda known. ALL THREE: (singing) Keep an eye for branches! Keep an eye for sand! Just can’t wait to try my fate in the state of Louisian! Fare thee well my lady! Fare thee well my queen! I’ll love you well then bid farewell for a town called New Orleans! (tag)

Come on and roll on up the …. up the Sangamon roll! We’re gonna roll on up and… feel the prairie wind blow! Come on and roll on up and …stash your troubles below! We’re gonna roll on up the… up the Sangamon roll!

LINCOLN: Lookee yonder! New Salem! HANKS: It’s a dam, Lincoln! LINCOLN: I’ve heard it’s a mighty nice town. HANKS: Lincoln, you’re headed right for the dam! LINCOLN: River’s high. We can make it. JOHNSON: You’re loco, Lincoln! We’re gonna hit the New Salem dam. HANKS: And I can’t swim! LINCOLN: Then you best grab a hog. We’re gonna hit that dam! HANKS AND JOHNSON: (singing) Abraham! Abraham! Abraham! Abraham! (And on the final beat of music, the boat crashes into the dam, spilling them all onto the floor.)

KRISTIN: (yells to boat) Welcome to New Salem! PHYLLIS: Hey, everbody! Come down to Rutledge’s Mill! There’s another boat stuck on the dam … and this one has live hogs on board! KRISTIN: And men! PHYLLIS: And there’s corn spilt everywhere! KRISTIN: And men!

(3 men move about, try to pole off)

LARGE: (from shore, yells to boat) Be mighty careful you don’t knock any of them barrels overboard. If they sink or float, doesn’t make no difference. They be lost just the same! MARIAN: Denton Offutt! LARGE: Mornin’ Mrs. Warburton. MARIAN: Scuttle-butt has it, that’s your boat loaded with goods. LARGE: Dern if it ain’t. Hired those boys to build that boat and to raft hogs and barrel pork and corn to auction. They’re headed to New Orleans. MARIAN: Not now, they ain’t. LARGE: ‘Fraid you’re right, Mrs. Warburton. ‘Fraid your right! PHYLLIS: Offutt! Who’s on the boat? LARGE: Three fellas from Macon County. Hanks, Johnson and Lincoln. All experienced hands! PHYLLIS: Yeh, too bad they can’t float a boat. (to boat) Hey, you Macon County boys! How long you been hung up there? TONY: (from the boat) ‘Bout a day. PHYLLIS: What’s it gonna take to get you loose? GREG: (a beat, then) More water. PHYLLIS: Don’t fret. I hear we’re supposed to have some heavy rains … next spring! (laughs) KRISTIN: Don’t you boys ever get any water in Macon County? TONY: (to Greg and Lincoln) We’re the laughin’ stock of the Sangamon. LINCOLN: (from boat) Mr. Offutt! MARIAN: Just hold ‘er there another nine months and you can walk out on the ice! LINCOLN: Mr. Offutt! LARGE: Yeh, Lincoln? LINCOLN: Have ‘em bring those flat boats alongside. We’re gonna unload these hogs. (to boys) OK boys, let’s move the barrels forward, shift all the weight to the front. We got a lot of water in here. Hand me that wood auger! (starts drilling) LARGE: Lincoln! What are you doin’? What’s he doin’? He’s … he’s drillin’ a hole my boat! You see what he’s doin’? Where’s my gun? LINCOLN: This front part is hanging over the dam. I’m gonna let the water out … lighten the load, then plug ‘er back up! LARGE: You’re gonna what? LINCOLN: I’m gonna drill a hole and let out the water! LARGE: It’ll never work! LINCOLN: You could be right. LARGE: What if it don’t? LINCOLN: Then Mr Offutt, I reckon I’ll owe you a new boat. LARGE: It’ll never work! Give me my gun! Somebody help me find my … KRISTIN: It’s movin’! Look! It’s starting to move! MARIAN: There she goes! It’s slidin’ off the dam. She’s free! LINCOLN: I’ll bung these holes. Get the barrels back in place to shift the weight! (to shore) Hold onto those hogs! We’ll be loading ‘em again. We’re going to New Orleans! LARGE: Lincoln, you’re a genius! I knew it’d work! You saved me a lot of money! You get back from New Orleans you can have a job in my store if ya want it! (Xing DS) I'm gonna build a steam boat to go up and down the Sangamon. She’ll have rollers for the shallow parts and runners for the ice. Lincoln will be my captain and, by golly, we’ll have a go! MARIAN: (Xing DS) New Salem, Illinois. April, 1831. That’s when most of us saw Abraham Lincoln for the first time. PHYLLIS: I saw him before you did! MARIAN: (ignores) May seem a little strange to you, but along about dusk on some summer evenings, those of us who used to live here come back to this hollow and talk … we relive … the days when New Salem was a thriving village of 100 souls. Our little place on the prairie didn’t last very long, only 10 years, starting in 1829. Very few people in history would have ever heard of us if that flatboat hadn’t hit the dam ... and along with it, a long-legged boy named Abraham. There wasn’t nobody that didn’t like that boy… at least after a bit. And we all had our own tales to tell … some of ‘em true! (fade) LINCOLN: (walks into scene where Ann is standing) ‘Scuse me. I’d like to … I’d like ... KRISTIN: Yes? LINCOLN: I’d like to arrange for room and board. I’d like to see the person in charge, Mr. Rutledge. KRISTIN: I’m in charge. LINCOLN: Uh … you ... KRISTIN: You don’t think a girl has a mind? LINCOLN: No. I mean, yes. I mean … I’m Abraham Lincoln. KRISTIN: Oh, I know who you are. Everyone knows who you are. I was there the day you hit the dam and I’ve seen few things smarter than the way you got that boat loose. LINCOLN: I … I thank you. KRISTIN: And I’ve seen few things dumber than the way you got it stuck. LINCOLN: Oh. KRISTIN: And you’re the new clerk at Offutt’s store. I’m Ann Rutledge. LINCOLN: Oh, your father … KRISTIN: My father owns this tavern … and the mill … and the farm … and … LINCOLN: … and I’m pleased to meet you, Miss Rutledge. KRISTIN: You were gone a long time to New Orleans. LINCOLN: (stares at her. She is very pretty) Pleased to meet you, miss. KRISTIN: You said that … and I was talking about your trip to New Orleans … LINCOLN: Yeh, I went to New Orleans … on a boat. KRISTIN: That’s the ... uh ... best way to get there. Are you all right? LINCOLN: Oh, I’m fine. Fine. I was lost in thought … just admiring your nice blue hair. KRISTIN: My blue hair? LINCOLN: Eyes. Eyes! Your blue eyes. That’s what I meant … I haven’t been around girls much. KRISTIN: (sarcastic but with humor) Oh, really? … Well, if you’re going to be boarding here and working in New Salem, then you and I will be seeing each other all the time. LINCOLN: I’m honored. I mean, that you’d want to see me … KRISTIN: Got no choice. It’s a small town. (exits)

(Lincoln walks thru the town street) TONY: (nearly bumping into a distracted Lincoln) Hey! Watch where you’re goin’! LINCOLN: Sorry. Awful sorry. Uh … My name is … TONY: Abraham Lincoln ... the Dam Crasher. Hope you can earn your keep. (begins to exit) LINCOLN: Uh ... TONY: (stopping) You really got a way with words, don’t cha? Can I help you with somethin’? LINCOLN: Would there be a book in this town? TONY: Book? LINCOLN: Book. The kind you read. TONY: Oh. That kind. You talk to Mentor Graham. He’s the school teacher. He’s got books. But you’re gonna have to do more than read to stay alive on this prairie. LINCOLN: (taking his hand) Mentor Graham. I thank you kindly, sir. Seems like there’s nothin’ but nice folks in this town. TONY: (laughing) You are new, aren’t you! Look, find Mentor Graham and get yourself a book, watch where you’re walkin’ and stay away from Jack Kelso. LINCOLN: Who? (Tony exits) Stay away from who? (but Tony is gone) Uh … thanks. (moves on) Howdy. GREG: Howdy. You’re Lincoln, aren’t you? LINCOLN: (smiling and taking Green’s hand) That seems the worst-kept secret in New Salem. GREG: Bowling Green. Justice of the Peace. Only law within miles of here. Stop in and visit sometime. LINCOLN: Sure will. ‘Spose I could borrow some law books to read? GREG: I’ve got proper books. LINCOLN: Proper? GREG: Gets too hot of a summer time I raise my window and use the law books to prop ‘er open. LINCOLN: (laughs, then) Pleased to meet you, your honor. GREG: Sure. (begins to exit, then stops) Why in tarnation would you want to read law books? I’m supposed to read ‘em and I don’t. Why would you do it on if you didn’t have to? LINCOLN: Just interested in law. Interested in everything, especially reading. GREG: You’re welcome to ‘em. Stop by and see me anytime. LINCOLN: Lots of friendly people here. Everybody seems set on helping me along. GREG: Yep, great little town. LINCOLN: All I’ve met is nice folks. GREG: Oh. Then you haven’t met Jack Kelso. LINCOLN: Just who is this ... GREG: Careful of Jack. He can take the straightest young fella in town and turn his mind around so he don’t know one end of a mule from another. (tipping his hat) Stop by. Just leave me one or two books …the hot weather’s on the way. (he leaves) Nice to meet you. MARIAN: (passes by) Yes, very nice to meet you, but I’ve heard you’ve been inquiring about Jack Kelso. I’d watch who you’re seen with if I were you, young man. LINCOLN: I was just … (but she is gone) PHYLLIS: (entering with Tony) There he is. They say he’s inquirin’ as to Jack Kelso. TONY: It’s a scandal if you ask me. No way for a newcomer to be actin’. (they exit) LARGE: (stumbling onto the stage) Damnation to Blue Bells! LINCOLN: (running to him) Help you, mister? LARGE: (in a single, disgusted breath) There ain’t no helpin’ me long as we got this toad-suckin’, butt-draggin’ God-awful mud up to armpits and you can’t even take one cussed step after another without gettin’ so dol-garned stuck that your head don’t know your belly from tree stump. LINCOLN: My name’s ... LARGE: I got enough troubles without botherin’ with strangers. I don’t care what your name is. All I can think about is this dog-drownin’ mud! LINCOLN: Sorry. LARGE: Just give me hand here, Lincoln. I got my back-quarter stuck in the mire. LINCOLN: (extends his hand, then stops) You know who I am? LARGE: You take me to be an idjit? Now grab hold and tug. I got some serious business to attend to. (Lincoln grabs his hand and heaves him out of his mudhole, sending them both crashing to the floor) LARGE: Glad to meet cha. What’d you say your name was? LINCOLN: But you just ... LARGE: (looking up at the sun) Shoot! Look at that! Almost noon and I still ain’t got myself to work! I gotta go! (rising and making a move to exit) LINCOLN: I didn’t catch your name. LARGE: I could use an extra hand. You wanna help or are gonna just sit there all day? LINCOLN: Sure thing. What’s you line of work? LARGE: Fishin’. LINCOLN: You sell fish? LARGE: I eat fish. First I catch ‘em then I eat ‘em. Don’t complicate things for me. Come on, I can hear ‘em already! LINCOLN: What? LARGE: Catfish! I just heard one of ‘em call my name! LINCOLN: I don’t believe I caught your . LARGE: Let’s go! (and Kelso takes off with Lincoln in tow, finally setting down to the “water hole,” dangling their feet over the edge of a platform) (with a huge sigh) Now that’s better! What’s a matter? You never fished before? LINCOLN: I guess I’m a bit skitterish today. Seems like everbody’s warned me about this Jack Kelso fella and I was just wonderin’ if maybe you were … LARGE: Kelso! Good God A’mighty! Don’t mess that cuss! Craziest loon on the Sangamon! LINCOLN: That’s what I’ve heard. LARGE: Word about town on you is that you like to read. LINCOLN: Word travels fast. LARGE: I got some books you can borrow. The complete works of Shakespeare; most of the poetry of Bobby Burns. LINCOLN: Bobby Burns? Is he from around here? LARGE: Stale crackers, boy! Bobby Burns is Scotland’s greatest poet … maybe the world’s! Ya don’t know the rolling verse of Bobby Burns? Sit down. Throw this line in the creek. (they fish) LARGE: (suddenly stricken with the muse, a dramatic explosion) Wee sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rouse beastie, O, what a panic’s in they breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi bickering brattle! I wad be laith to rin an chase thee, Wi murdering pattle! LINCOLN: (looks at him, wide-eyed) LARGE: That was Burns. “To a Wee Mouse.” LINCOLN: Gosh. LARGE: That’s all you’ve got say? “Gosh”? LINCOLN: Sorry. I’ve never had the chance to read him. LARGE: He’s one of us, Lincoln. That’s why we call him “Bobby” Burns. Can’t see us referring to “Billy” Shakespeare can you? Course not. LINCOLN: I heard of Shakespeare but haven’t had the chance to read any of his books. LARGE: Plays. He wrote plays. Ahh … Some great stuff. From Hamlet: “To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against the seas of troubles and by opposing end them …” LINCOLN: That’s … that’s a lot to think about. LARGE: You got a bite. LINCOLN: (jerks the line) LARGE: You missed. Sure is. LINCOLN: But what’s it mean? LARGE: You lost your fish. LINCOLN: I mean Shakespeare. LARGE: Mean? Hamlet is wondering whether it is more noble to quietly suffer when people say outrageous things about you, or to attack! To take up arms against your troubles! And … Lincoln! That’s what he does. He faces all the problems head on! Quite a fellow. You should read Hamlet. LINCOLN: Can I borrow it? LARGE: Sure. But first, you need to read Bobby Burns. “A man’s a man, for all that!” LINCOLN: All right, if you say so. LARGE: Now. Let’s not work too hard at this. Sit back and give the fish a chance to find us. (he carefully leans over the “creek” and whispers to the fish) Wee sleekit, cow’rin beastie! O that I might catch this fishie!” LINCOLN: (taken by his concentration, leaning over and also whispering) By the way. I didn’t catch the name. LARGE: (still looking into the waters, whispering so’s not to scare the fishies) Kelso. Jack Kelso. Pleased to meet you. Now … Lincoln. Let me give you some advice, whether you want it or not. This is a special place, New Salem, Illinois. Whata we got … 100 people? Six of ‘em have college degrees from Illinois College in Jacksonville. And there a whole bunch of savvy folks who haven’t had much chance at books. You oughta learn what you can from ‘em. They’ll be glad to help … and it’s free. You’re a pretty sharp fella but if you’re going to go anywhere, you’ll need book learnin.’ I’ll give you Burns and Shakespeare ... (light fades) GRAHAM: (lights up) … and I can teach you grammar or my name’s not Mentor Graham. I’ve been teaching school quite a few years and I can teach anyone who’s willing to work. Now. About your assignment. You did not correctly identify the subject of the sentence. You picked the object of the preposition. LINCOLN: They’re both nouns. How do you know the difference? GRAHAM: the difference is that one is the object of the preposition and one isn’t. So! We need to be able to spot prepositional phrases and get them out of the way. Once we’ve done that, the subject will jump up and nip your nose. (lights fade) MAN: (lights up on another stage area. Man is talking to Lincoln who wanders into scene) It’s beyond simple addition and subtraction. It’s geometry! It has to do with areas and shapes and sizes. For example, what if you survey a piece of land to find out how many acres are in it? LINCOLN: I can’t imagine that I’d ever want to survey anything. MAN: Well, imagine it then! A good education involves knowing how to do some things before you need ‘em. All right! Here are some dimensions of an irregular shaped piece of property. Tell me how much land is in it. (lights fade) WOMAN: (lights comes up and Lincoln moves into scene) First you need to work on multiplying by 10’s and by hundreds. You should be able to look at two numbers and have an idea of the approximate answer. (lights down) KELSO: (lights up, Lincoln moves in) No, no, no! Julius Caesar isn’t about history! It’s about political treachery! It’s about protecting your backside! (fade) MAN: (to Lincoln) Sure I have some books and you’re welcome to borrow ‘em anytime. LINCOLN: Where do you live? MAN: Six mile northwest. LINCOLN: I’ll be there! (walks out of scene toward audience)

LINCOLN: Taking that flatboat of goods to New Orleans set a picture in my mind I’ll never forget … ever. I’d been to New Orleans some years ago, and I saw slaves on the farms of Kentucky. But that trip some months ago gave me the first sickening taste of what slavery really is. There was an auction, where they were selling black people to wealthy land owners. Young black people … caked with dirt from being bound and dragged through streets, some crying for water and food and being whipped for doing so … were held up in the greatest shame for public bidding. Their ragged clothes were torn from their bodies in many cases; their body parts exposed so the bidders could view the goods. They were treated worse than any animals I’ve ever seen. The sight gave me the most wretched feeling in my stomach I’ve ever had. I felt terrible for them, and exceedingly grateful that I wasn’t one of them. I said to those I was with, “... By God boys, let’s get away from this. If I ever get the chance to hit slavery, I’ll hit it hard.” Forever in my life, I’ll think about freedom.

LINCOLN: (sings) Sometimes in the evenin’ When it seems the earth is breathin’ and the stars roll in And the night begins, I feel a breeze start blowin’ And in my heart I’m knowin’ it’s come back again… It’s the Freedom Wind.

Ain’t no one can catch it Ain’t no wind can match it when it’s blowin’ though When it’s callin’ you… And I can’t hardly help it, But feel that wind myself And I call back again…….. To the Freedom Wind. (dialogue) I don’t even know what it is I hear in that old Prairie Wind. Maybe I’m daft, but it just sounds like ….. well, just like it was pullin’ me someplace… somewhere I’d never been before and some place.. some place I just ought to be… Sometimes when it blows I’ve got a feelin’ that it knows That there’s a place for me…. Where I’ve got to be. I feel the breeze around me, and I hear the lonely sounds of “Come and go with me.. the Wind that Freedom brings.”

Oh well a flood can drown the land, Tear the rocks out from the sand but it goes back again … Oh, it goes back again. And the fire can rage and roll but the flames must all turn cold When the rains come down ... the cooling rains come down. But there’s somethin’ ‘bout the wind that you can’t stop And you can’t bend, and you can’t stay the hand that frees While hatred rages. There ain’t no power on earth that’s like a gift that’s ours from birth And it blows the wind of freedom through the ages! Sometimes in the evenin’ When it seems the earth is breathin’ and the stars roll in And the night begins, I feel a breeze start blowin’ And in my heart I’m knowin’ it’s come back again… It’s the Freedom Wind.

LARGE: (to audience) So I took that money I made selling those goods in New Orleans and open me a general store in New Salem. Smartest thing I ever did was to hire young Lincoln as a clerk. He was forever had a lot of people around, tellin’ stories, had a lot of people around all the time . although a lot of ‘em didn’t buy nothin. Lincoln was just the most likable cuss you’d ever want to meet. (fade) LINCOLN: (at the general store, fade in) ... and I started with an ax at about age 9 and had one in my hand ever since. We chopped down the trees and built that flat boat we took to New Orleans. MAN1: Yeh , the boat. Tell these the guys about Offutt’s hogs, Lincoln. That’s my favorite. LINCOLN: Now this ain’t a regular New Salem story. This one’s true! Last March, Hanks, Johnson and me was takin’ that flat boat of goods to New Orleans, along with 30 live hogs. Well, Denton Offutt couldn’t get those hogs onto the flat boat. Ever time they’d see the water, they’d spook. So Offutt got this idea … he’d sew their eyes shut. He allowed as how if they couldn’t see the water, they wouldn’t spook. So he sewed their eyes shut! You ever try to get a hog to hold still to sew his eyes shut? This is not a pleasant day for the hog. MAN2: Now that’s a jim-dandy of an idea! LINCOLN: Sure was. ‘Cept it didn’t work. He couldn’t drive those hogs onto the boat because the hogs couldn’t see which way they were going, so they went every direction. We finally unstitched them, tied their feet and carried them on board. (they laugh) MAN1: That’s a good one. That’s sure a good one. So. Isaac. How was your year of farming? MAN 2: You can tell a story, Lincoln. Where’d you get it? LINCOLN: My family was Kentucky farmers. The biggest story tellers in the country. My grandpappy in Kentuck once heard a fella braggin’ about his crop of hay. The fella said he had so much that he filled both barns and had to stack the rest outside. Grandad looked at him and said, “One year I raised so much hay, we stacked as much as we could outside and had to put the rest in the barn!” ISSAC: You know, Lincoln, you could travel with one of them medicine shows. Heck, I’d pay to hear you talk.. I mean if you weren’t so derned…. LINCOLN: Yeh? ISSAC: (embarrassed) Well, I mean ... you know, if you weren’t so … LINCOLN: Ugly? ISSAC: I didn’t say that. LINCOLN: Didn’t have to. I was born in Kentuck. When I was two months old I was the most handsome child in Kentucky. We had an old Negro nurse who took care of me. One day some people came down the river and they had a baby boy. She swapped me for that boy even up … and he was such a plain looking child, I ended up looking like this. ( all laugh except Isaac) ISAAC: I don’t get it. LINCOLN: I was walking down the street in Springfield one day and this woman came up to me and said, “I think you’re the homeliest man I ever saw!” “Yes, madam, but I can’t help that,” I replied. “No, I suppose not,” she said, “but you might stay at home!” (laughs heartily and exits) Be back directly. MAN2: Whoa, look who’s comin’! The Clary’s Grove boys and I’ll bet they’re looking for trouble as usual. You hear what they did to James Jordan? Put that old lard butt in a barrel and rolled him down to the Sangamon! Wouldn’t of been for that oak tree, he’d be bobbin’ his way to St. Louis right now! MAN1: I think it’s time I went home. (but he is met by Armstrong who stops him) JACK: Hey, everbody. ALL: Hi, Jack. Hello, Thomas. JACK: Lookin’ for Lincoln … the new fella. Hear he’s pretty smart. Guess I’d like to see just how smart. ISAAC: Lincoln? Oh, he’ll be right back … but you don’t go messin’ with him. He’s tougher than a bundle of hickory. Chops down trees with a single blow of the ax. No one has ever bested him and doubt if they ever will. JACK: Oh, is that right? Well, we’ll just see about that. He never met the boys for Clarys’s Grove and he never met Jack Armstrong. Where is he? ISAAC: He just stepped outside. Probably to say his prayers! Here he comes now. LINCOLN: (enters) (all is quiet) Howdy. JACK: Lincoln? The name’s Armstorng. Jack Armstrong from Clary’s Grove. (walks to him. Grabs his hand and squeezes HARD and HARDER) Pleased to meet ya. (L tries not to grimace but he was caught unaware) LINCOLN: (flexes hurt hand) I’ve seldom met anyone quite so glad to see me. JACK: Came over to wrestle you. They tell me you’re pretty strong. You and I gonna wrestle …just to sort of welcome you to the Sangamo country. LINCOLN: Oh, I ain’t much in the mood to wrestle . I guess. JACK: I didn’t remember givin’ you a choice. No room in this county for milk-maids. Unless you’re feared. That it? You feared to come up agin me? Then every time I see you I want you to move outa my way. LINCOLN: Reckon I won’t be doing that, so maybe we’d better have at it. JACK: That’s good. Real good. Two outa three falls? LINCOLN: I’d prefer Kentucky rules. JACK: What’s that? LINCOLN: One fall. Winner takes all. JACK: What about the loser? LINCOLN: I don’t rightly know. We always buried him. JACK: (is brought up short for a moment as he nervously eyes his friends) (finally) I reckon that’ll do for me. I’m gonna need some room. Let’s take this outdoors. (The two men exit as the music comes up and the others gather at “the door,” looking outside) THOMAS: Get ‘em, Jack! ISSAC: Hang on, Lincoln! MAN ONE: Gosh a’mighty! Look at ‘em go at it! THOMAS: Grab his neck, Jack! JACK: (from offstage) I can’t reach it, you idjit! ISSAC: There goes drainpipe! MAN ONE: And the hitchin’ post! THOMAS: Jack’s gettin’ whupped! (and he begins to rush to his aid) ISSAC: No you don’t! This is a fair fight! THOMAS: (pushing him aside) Get your hands off me! (and Thomas rushes off) MAN ONE: You coward! ISSAC: Take ‘em, Lincoln! Don’t let ‘em… .Don’t let ‘em… Don’t….. (and Lincoln comes rolling onto the stage, much the worse for wear, followed shortly by the Clary’s Grove boys) MAN ONE: (quickly jumping between the warring parties as the Clary’s boys head for Lincoln again) Hold it! You said a fair fight! JACK: You give up? LINCOLN: No, I don’t think I do. JACK: OK. Tell you what. I’ll give you a draw. I’d keep at you but I need to get to Clary’s Grove before dark. LINCOLN: Draw sounds reasonable to me. And a might more comfortable. JACK: You’re a good man, Lincoln. I coulda whipped you but you’re a good man. LINCOLN: And you, Jack. Least ways you say what you mean and I gotta admire that in a fella. JACK: You know, I gotta a feelin’ that you’re the kind of fella I’d run the river with. LINCOLN: Two outa three? JACK: (smiles) And we’d bury the loser. LINCOLN: I think I’m gonna like New Salem. , and] a man knows where he stands. JACK: That’s what comes from bein’ free, Lincoln. I didn’t mean to show you no disrespect. Just had to see what you amounted to. Freedom’ll do that to a fella on this prairie.

JACK: (singing) Well, gee it’s good, it’s so dog-goned good, It’s more than good to be free now! Gee, it’s nice just to love your life Dog-goned good to be free!

Old John Brown down in Petersburg town’s Got a wife and fourteen kids It takes all month just to get ‘em up And year to get ‘em to bed! But Old John Brown down Petersburg town’s Got a smile when he’s at home. He says it seems when you’ve got fourteen Then at least you’re never alone!

ALL: Well, gee it’s good, it’s so dog-goned good, It’s more than good to be free now! Gee, it’s nice just to love your life Dog-goned good to be free!

LINCOLN: Lots of times it comes to mind That there ain’t no place for me! I get so down that I touch the ground And my chin sits on my knee! Then I just look up when things get tough And I smell the prairie breeze. I think of folks who’ve kept their hopes And most got worse than me!

ALL: Well, gee it’s good, it’s so dog-goned good, It’s more than good to be free now! Gee, it’s nice just to love your life Dog-goned good to be free!

TONY: Aunt Roseanne from Birmingham’s Lived over eighty years. She don’t complain about her pains Or the ringin’ in her ears. Now Aunt Roseanne from Birmingham Is still half-young they said. She likes to claim that all her pain Is better than bein’ dead!

ALL: Well, gee it’s good, it’s so dog-goned good, It’s more than good to be free now! Gee, it’s nice just to love your life Dog-goned good to be free!

MARIAN Parson Wren on the Sangamon Bend Like’s to shout ‘bout hell and fire! He preaches hard ‘bout the wrath of God He could make a rock perspire! But Parson Wren on the Sangamon Bend Walks straight when the sun is bright. But he dips his pole in the Sangamon hole And he fishes like hell all night.

(dance break)

ALL: Well, gee it’s good, it’s so dog-goned good, It’s more than good to be free now! Gee, it’s nice just to love your life Dog-goned good to be free!

Well, gee it’s good, it’s so dog-goned good, It’s more than good to be free now! Gee, it’s nice just to love your life Dog-goned good ……….

JACK: (extending his hand to Lincoln) A draw? LINCOLN: A draw it is. (extends hand to shake) (takes Jack’s hand and squeezes hard. Jack reacts.) ALL (SINGING) To Be Free!

MARIAN: (addresses the audience, reading the minutes of the meeting) Here ye, and all take notice, that the New Salem Temperance Society, being duly established in the year 1831, held its annual meeting on November 7, 1833. The temperance reformation has been met at every corner and opportunity by the most determined opposition, by men whose appetites have control over their judgment. Success has been greater than could reasonably be expected considering our circumstances. Membership has increased 24 members making a total in good standing of 76. Six members were expelled for breach of rules, and one withdrawn at the request of the church.. A local merchant unhappily reports that since our Society was formed he now sells only ¼ as much liquor. (very big smile) Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord. Signed, S. Duncan, Secretary.

(scene opens with Lincoln at the river)

ANN: Abraham? Is that you? LINCOLN: Miss Ann! Good evening. Whatta you doing down here at the river? ANN: Just watchin’ the river, Abraham. And what brings you here? LINCOLN: Don’t know. Guess I just sorta stumbled onto ya. ANN: That’s the fourth time today. For a strong young man, you sure do a lot of stumblin’. LINCOLN: I’m sorry, Miss Ann, if I ... ANN: You ever wonder where it’s going? LINCOLN: Me? I was just goin’ down to the mill to … ANN: I mean the river. Ever wonder where it’s headed? LINCOLN: Beardstown I reckon. ANN: What? LINCOLN: Beardstown. It’s going to Beardstown, then St. Louis and New Orleans. ANN: Don’t you have a flicker of romance in that whole gangly body of yours, Abraham? LINCOLN: Romance? ANN: Adventure! Excitement! The kinda stuff that puts legs onto your dreams and just takes off runnin’! LINCOLN: (a beat, then) Well, I do dream. And I do like watchin’ that old Sangamon roll along. ANN: It’s a lonely river. Have you noticed that? Always alone. Always movin’. Sometimes I feel like that river … that life is just sweeping me along to someplace. I just wish I knew where it was takin’ me. LINCOLN: A might further than Beardstown, I spect. (she turns … is he making fun of her? … then sees Lincoln’s gentle smile) I wonder the same thing, Miss Ann. Lots of folks are content to just sit here in Salem and watch the river roll by ‘em, but I know how you’re feelin’. I keep thinkin’ there’s more about me than two long legs and a place to sit. ANN: It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it? LINCOLN: Oh, sure. Yeh, it is. ANN: Want to know why I’m so happy? LINCOLN(smiling) I just s’posed it was ‘cause you’re the prettiest gal in New Salem. ANN: You, Mr. Lincoln, are a purebred, long-shanked Kentucky flirt. LINCOLN: (bowing low) I gratefully acknowledge the compliment. ANN: Well, since you’re not going to ask, I’ll tell you why I’m smilin’. It’s finally happened. LINCOLN: What? ANN: You ever love somebody, Abraham? LINCOLN: (embarrassed, turning away) Miss Ann … ANN: (turning him back to her) I mean really loved ‘em. Like you was gonna bust or somethin’? LINCOLN: (looks up the hill in the direction of Ann’s father or anyone else who might be listening) I reckon I have. ANN: What was it like? LINCOLN: Miss Ann! ANN: Come on. Tell me. LINCOLN: Miss Ann, a fella who looks like me has gotta be careful about who he loves. I ain’t the smartest but I ain’t blind, either. There ain’t a lot I got that can recommend me. My ears are too big. My legs are too long. I got a face that’d stop a mad bull and … ANN: I think you’re a very handsome [attractive] man, Abraham. LINCOLN: You shame me, Miss Ann. ANN: Not at all. Beauty, says my mama, is where you find it. And it’s the same with love. Not too long ago I was going about my business as usual, when a man moved into the village and into my life. He is a man of humor. He is kind and understanding. He works hard. He is everything a girl could want. And I know how he feels about me. In short. I’m in love! I’ve really fallen in love for the first time in my life. LINCOLN: I had no idea. ANN: Well, it’s time you did, Mr. Lincoln. It’s high time you did. And that’s why I come down to this lonely old river every evenin’. Look there. Just sit down and look at that old river with me. See how lonely it looks. (sings) There’s nothin’ I can see Like the feelin’ comes on me when I’m thinkin’ ‘Bout that river. And there’s nothin’ I can do But to up and follow you oh, river.. Oh Lonely River.

Roll, river, roll! Come take me away with you. My heart keeps hopin’ that where you’re goin’ Is where I’m goin’, too! Roll, river, roll! Keep churnin’ inside of me When you start rollin’, my dreams start growin’ So Lonely River roll!

They say that river sings And tells of dreams and things when you listen Oh so closely And I can hear my name… I can hear that song it sings oh so softly… Oh, Lonely River!

ANN & LINCOLN: Roll, river, roll! Come take me away with you. My heart keeps hopin’ that where you’re goin’ Is where I’m goin’, too! Roll, river, roll! Keep churnin’ inside of me When you start rollin’, my dreams start growin’ So Lonely River roll!

LINCOLN: A river rolls alone Got no ending, got no home but it’s rollin’ Oh so surely. Won’t you share my dream Oh won’t you take me down your stream, oh river… Oh, Lonely River!

BOTH: Roll, river, roll! Come take me away with you. My heart keeps hopin’ that where you’re goin’ Is where I’m goin’, too! Roll, river, roll! Keep churnin’ inside of me When you start rollin’, my dreams start growin’ So Lonely River roll!

LINCOLN: (as the music continues under) I can’t remember ever feelin’ quite this good, Miss Ann. ANN: Nor I, Mr. Lincoln. LINCOLN: That young man you love is the luckiest fella in this town. ANN: I thank you. And I cannot wait to run and tell him right now … just how I feel! (she begins to exit) LINCOLN: But Miss Ann… ANN: Oh! I didn’t tell you his name! It’s John! Mr. John McNeil! (and she exits) LINCOLN: A river rolls alone Got no ending, got no home but it’s rollin’ Oh so surely. Won’t you share my dream Oh won’t you take me down your stream, oh river… Oh, Lonely River!

Roll, river, roll! Come take me away with you. My heart keeps hopin’ that where you’re goin’ Is where I’m goin’, too! Roll, river, roll! Keep churnin’ inside of me ... (and as the music continues, Lincoln cannot. He slowly lowers his head as the lights dim out)

Scene: Ferguson Agreement

TONY: (enters) Abe Lincoln! LINCOLN: Right here. Oh, hello there, Mr. Ferguson. TONY: I need someone who can write, legal like, to prepare me a bill of sale. I’m gonna sell the ferry business. LINCOLN: You just bought it in October. TONY: That’s right. And now I’m gonna sell it. Will you draw up a paper or not? LINCOLN: Be glad to help. (talks as he gets out paper and pen)That reminds me, John, of a fella that came in here not too long ago. Asked real loud like if’n there was anyone who could write. I told him I could. He said he wanted to write a letter to the clumsiest man in the county, Abraham Lincoln. I told him I was Abraham Lincoln. He said, “Good, that’ll just save me a piece of paper.” He went on, “Everbody used to make fun of me for bein’ so awkward until you came along, and I just wanted to thank you.” (they laugh at this really funny story) Just tell me what you want in this. TONY: I want to sell the ferry business to Alexander Trent for $35. LINCOLN: (takes paper and pen, scratches for a few minutes, then) How ‘bout this: “Know all men by these presents that I, John Ferguson, for and in consideration of the sum of $35 have given, granted, bargained and sold all my right and title to the New Salem ferry in Sangamon County unto Alexander Trent. In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this 25th of January, 1832.” TONY: You will be a lawyer, Lincoln. You’ve charged me two bits and I didn’t understand a word of it. (fade)

Does “Freedom Wind” go in here?

TONY: Hey, listen up! Did ya hear the news? We’re at War! War has been declared! LARGE: War? Who is it? The Mexicans? TONY: No, it’s the . LARGE: Them damed French comin’ thru Canada? I knew it! TONY: Would ya just listen! LARGE: Ah-ha! I knew it! It’s the British again! TONY: Indians! LARGE: (pause) Holy shucks! India’s a long way away from here! TONY: No, it’s Blackhawk! He’s crossed the Mississippi breakin’ the treaty. And he’s got a thousand warriors they say! They’ve invaded Illinois! PHYLLIS: God help us! They’re gonna loot and plunder! I gotta run home and shut my windows! (begins to exit in a hurry) LINCOLN: Blackhawk? He must be 70 years old. PHYLLIS: Good. Then I can walk. TONY: Governor Reynolds has issued a call for troops to drive the red-skins off’n our land. Sangamon County is supposed to give 350 volunteers, with horses. Assemble at Beardstown. We’ll attack from there! (drum cadence begins under as the troops make a very loose formation and begin to march) THE SOLDIERS: We left our home in Sangamon from every farm and town! Old Blackhawk was a ragin’ and we had to hunt him down! From Clary’s’s Grove to parts unknown from Petersburg to here! We’ll fight for our dear mothers and the Sangamon volunteers! (drums continue under) [they re-assemble at “Beardstown”]

MARIAN: OK. All you Sangamon County volunteers … the 31st Regiment Illinois Militia … it’s time to vote. You’re going to need a captain, an officer in charge. Form a line behind the man you want as your leader. Most votes is elected captain. (3 line-up behind Lincoln , 2 behind Greg. Greg looks at his line, then moves behind Lincoln with his group) GREG: Congratulations on your first elected office.

THE SOLDIERS: From Athens came the Johnson boys the Withers and Smiths They came to drive the Indians across the Mississip! From Sugar Grove the boys we know have joined us over here! We’ll fight for Captain Lincoln and the Sangamon volunteers! (cadence under)

LINCOLN: What do we do? KRISTIN: You’re the captain. You tell us. LINCOLN: Anybody ever been a soldier before? (all heads shake “no”) Well, then it’ll be a might harder for you to catch my mistakes. All right! Here we go! To make sure we’re in fightin’ condition, I command that we leave our horses here and march ten miles at a run. (there is quiet while everyone stares) LARGE: Captain? LINCOLN: Yes, Armstrong? LARGE: Go to the devil … sir!

THE SOLDIERS: We marched a hundred miles by day and twice as much by night A-scratchin’ for the enemy and itchin’ for a fight! We’ve yet to see an Indian but one thing’s mighty clear We’ll fight for Captain Lincoln and the Sangamon volunteers! (cadence under)

LINCOLN: (sees the prevailing mood) I think that’s enough for one day. We will march … in formation … across that road, through the opening in that fence and rest beneath those shade trees. LARGE: Yes, sir! ALL: Yes, sir! LINCOLN: Fall in. (they scramble, but do) Forward march. (they march a few steps) Company halt. ( he ponders) TONY: Sir! How we gonna march in formation through that there small opening in the fence? LINCOLN: I’m not rightly sure what command I give to get this formation through that small break. How long have I been your captain, sergeant? GREG: ‘Bout ten days, sir. LINCOLN: In spite of my long career as a military officer, I can’t for the life of me think of the right command. (pause) Company dismissed. (they all look at him) Company … reassemble on the other side of that fence. (they do) Company attention. Forward march! (they all go to the tree and relax)

THE SOLDIERS: We left our home in Sangamon from every farm and town! Old Blackhawk was a ragin’ and we had to hunt him down! From Clary’s’s Grove to parts unknown from Petersburg to here! We’ll fight for Captain Lincoln and the Sangamon volunteers!

KRISTIN: Abraham. You scared? I mean goin’ ta war and all? LINCOLN: Well … I ‘speck I am. I done a heap of fightin’ in my time but it was always one fella wrestlin’ with another over braggin’ rights. I reckon I never fought anyone who was trying ta kill me. I s’pose I look at that as a different sort of thing altogether. TONY: I ain’t scared. It’s jist Indians we’re fightin’. Why, they’ll skedadle as soon as they see us. (they all stare at Tony) Come on! Don’t tell me you’re gettin’ scared! (a beat, they look at each other) I can’t believe this! What a bunch of mama’s boys! Besides? Whatta we got to lose? LINCOLN: (walks over to Tony and lifts a few strands of Tony’s hair as the others stare) TONY: (finally getting the point) I don’t think I feel so good. LINCOLN: . We’ve rested aplenty. Let’s all just meet over there on the road and amble on down to the war. Ready? Here we go. (they march toward the exit as they sing)

THE SOLDIERS: (with less enthusiasm now, eventually trickling off to a whistled tune as Marian begins her speech) We left our home in Sangamon from every farm and town! Old Blackhawk was a ragin’ and we had to hunt him down! From Clary’s’s Grove to parts unknown from Petersburg to here! We’ll fight for Captain Lincoln and the Sangamon volunteers!

MARIAN: Sangamon County contributed a lot of brave men to participate in the Blackhawk War … or so they said. Most of them only served for one month but they brought back stories that made ‘em sound as if they’d been fightin’ for years. The original group of volunteers was mustered out on May 27, 1832. Abraham re-enlisted … twice … and didn’t get back to New Salem until mid-July … and he walked back all the way from the Southern Michigan territory to Havana, Illinois. Our war heroes met regularly at Hills Store & Tavern.

LARGE: (in the tavern) Abraham, we were all dern glad to get out of the militia. A month’s enough of that! Why’d you re-enlist? LINCOLN: When I got mustered out … when you boys did … I stood there and said to myself, “Now what? You got no job and no one waitin’ on you and n reason to hurry back to Salem. I was out of work … and since there was no danger of any fighting while in the army, I decided to sign up again. I was a private in Captain Isle’s regiment then signed on again in Capt. Jacob Early’s Spy Battalion. Didn’t have much to spy on, though. I now know every field and swamp in the lower Michigan Territory. I got to where I knew the mosquitoes by name. That was the only enemy we found. Called ‘em the Great MosQuita Tribe! TONY: See any Indians? LINCOLN: Never did. In all my three months I never did see an Indian. LARGE: Me neither. Can’t prove it by me that there is a Chief Blackhawk, or that he ever crossed the river. I never even met any soldier who laid sight on any one of his tribe. GREG: ‘Cept the Great MosQuita. LARGE: Boys, I think we must remember … that we have an obligation here … an obligation to the people of New Salem and Sangamon County. TONY: Obligation to do what? LARGE: To be war heroes. This town was only invented a couple of years ago. They ain’t had no war heroes and ain’t likely to have none … ‘cept us! If we go around tellin’ everyone that we never even seen an Indian … none of us … we’ll be the laughin’ stock of the country-side. GREG: You mean make up lies? Make up stories about what we done? LARGE: No, no ... of course not. We don’t have to lie. Just don’t fill in all the details. LINCOLN: You expect us to tell folks about our war with the skeeters? Now that’d be a good laugh on us. ‘Course, they was the bloodiest things I ever run into. Lord but I hated them things! TONY: And the swamps! LARGE: And the mud. GREG: And the poor food. LARGE: And the mud. TONY: And the heat. KRISTIN: (entering with the others) There they are! (much rejoicing, hugging, whooping it up, etc.) PHYLLIS: My but we’re proud of you boys! Blackhawk never set foot in my house thanks to you! KRISTIN: There’s nothin’ like a brave soldier to set a girl’s heart aglow! PHYLLIS: Tell us how you did it! KRISTIN: Tell us how you won the war! GREG: (with false modesty) It’s all I can do to talk about it, ladies. PHYLLIS: Oh, please! GREG: It’s not a tale for tender ears. PHYLLIS: (grabbing Kristin to steel herself against the blow) Stand by me, dear sister! We must listen to this tale of bravery and hardship!

GREG: (singing) I thought I’d seen about the worst that war could do to man. But I had never seen The Great and Dark MosQuita band. (the tavern crowed reacts in horror) They are the largest tribe of all that crawl the swamps and seas The dreaded Great MosQuita nearly made the death of me!

TONY: They’re not the largest warriors now, that ever went to war. But they’re the biggest army when they swarm upon your door. They come by night and come by day and come as if with wings! The dreaded Great MosQuita tribe, with arrows tipped like stings!

LARGE: There’s not a man escapes ‘em when they swarm upon your back. No horse can yet outrun ‘em when they up and shout attack. They covered horse, they covered man, they covered legs and arms! The Great MosQuita flew upon on us comin’ down in swarms!

GREG: They came by night and caught us as we slept beneath the stars They crept into our tents and soon our necks were thick with scars. They drove their little knives into our skin while we slept tight. And when the morning woke us well we saw an awful sight. TONY: Young Morgan there was swollen … they’d attacked his feet and legs! Yon Wilson there was bleeding like pig stuck on a peg! And me, well I was still alive but in my ears did ring The memory of that great war and Great MosQuita’s sting!

KRISTIN: But what about you, Abraham? MARIAN: Yeh. You’re mighty silent on all this. LINCOLN: Me? Well, to tell the truth .. GREG: Uh-oh. LARGE: Here it comes. LINCOLN: (singing) It’s time the truth were told about this Great MosQuita crew. It seems there’s not a fella here can rightly tell it true. TONY: Dern! He’s gonna . LINCOLN: Of all the fights I ever fought, and I can recall, The Great MosQuita tribe was sure the awfulest of all! (smiles from the soldiers) Their knives cut through my flesh ‘til I could hardly walk an inch. To hear these fellas tell it, well you’d think it was a cinch! It was the awfulest bloodshed! A war that can’t be won! When you take on MosQuita, boy, it’s sure that you’ll get stung! (cheers, then) ALL: We left our home in Sangamon from every farm and town! Old Blackhawk was a ragin’ and we had to hunt him down! From Clary’s’s Grove to parts unknown from Petersburg to here! We’ll fight for Captain Lincoln and the Sangamon volunteers!

MARIAN: But Abraham! Why’d you walk home from Wisconsin? ABRAHAM: Somebody stole my horse! (all laugh and the party breaks up) PHYLLIS: (as the group moves off stage) Abraham. You wanta walk with us? LINCOLN: No. Thanks. I think I’ll go for a walk down by the river. PHYLLIS: Suit yourself. It’s a free country. (exits)

Sometimes when it blows I’ve got a feelin’ that it knows That there’s a place for me…. Where I’ve got to be. I feel the breeze around me, and I hear the lonely sounds of “Come and go with me.. the Wind that Freedom brings.”

END Act 1

ACT II

Mud Blues

(huffing, puffing, grunting, as he pulls one foot after another through the “mud”)

LARGE: Well, there ain’t no mud in heaven, We got it all in Illinois. Well there ain’t no mud in heaven It’s all run down to Illinois. But if there’s mud in heaven, then I know as sure as hell, it’s Illinois.

Ain’t no Mississippi Bayou that could match the mud comes by you’n Illinois! And there ain’t no swamp in Georgia that’s a full as muddy water’s Illinois! When the Lord, He sent the flood, well it all just turned to mud in Illinois!

Some people say that Moses covered Pharaoh’s nose and toes’es with the sea. Some people say he drowned him and they even wrote it down in history. But I know better, Bud… He died with prairie mud up to his knees.

Well, there ain’t no mud in heaven, We got it all in Illinois. Well there ain’t no mud in heaven It’s all run down to Illinois. But if there’s mud in heaven, then I know as sure as hell, it’s Illinois.

(spoken as he works his way through the mire) Ah, this dog-goned, dad-blamed, hog-swallowin’, bull-stickin’ mud’s got me so dad-burned sick of this slop that I can’t hardly take one toad-suckin’ step after a dad-blamed ‘nuther! If I ever get outa this God-forsaken mule-killin’, bog-bottomed guck they call Illinois, I’m gonna get me a dad-blamed shack as tall as mule’s butt where it never rains in a dad-blamed hunderd million years, brother!!

I got mud stuck in my pockets, I got mud stuck in my teeth, I got mud that’s stuck in places I can’t hardly even reach! I got mud stuck in my britches, I got mud stuck in my mouth, I got mud that’s stuck in places I ain’t even been myself!

You can wipe in on the tree-stump, you can wipe it on the floor But no matter where you wipe the mud there’ll always be some more! You can sump it, jump it, you can dump it, it won’t budge, You try to get ahead in life, you end up in the mud!

Well, there ain’t no mud in heaven, We got it all in Illinois. Well there ain’t no mud in heaven It’s all run down to Illinois. But if there’s mud in heaven, then I know just as sure as I’m standin’ here belly-deep in some of the awfulest Gol-danged mess I ever been in my life Right here in the middle of this stink-suckin’ mud hole of… …..Illinois! (Play off, he plops) I hate mud.

(scene opens with man tipsy in the main street of town) MARIAN: Yer walking like a crazed June Bug. You been drinking? MAN: It’s the middle of the morning! MARIAN: I know what time it is. That doesn’t answer my question. You been drinking this mornin’? MAN: No! MARIAN: Just remember that the temperance society meets on Tuesday. We’d like to see you there! MAN: Thank you, ma’am. (she exits) If a body didn’t drink, she’d be reason enough to start! (fade)

LINCOLN: (walks forward to speak to audience) Fellow citizens, I presume you know who I am. I am humble Abraham Lincoln. I have been solicited by many friends to become a candidate for the Illinois Legislature. My politics are short ands sweet, like the old woman’s dance. I am in favor of a national bank. I am in favor of the internal improvement system and a high protective tariff. These are my sentiments and political principles. If elected I shall be thankful; if not it will all be the same. (walks back) MAN: Here we are! The election results are in! Sorry, Abraham. You didn’t make it. You finished eighth out of the thirteen candidates. But you did get 277 out of the 283 votes cast in this precinct. LINCOLN: I’m pleased to have the support of the people who know me. That’s important. MAN: Sorry. Really sorry.

(New song for Phyllis here)

LINCOLN: (enters as Ann stands by the river, angrily throwing pebbles into the water) You tryin’ to build a new dam or are you just mad at that river? KRISTIN: What? Oh, hello Abraham. I guess I should stop. This river’s the only thing around here I can depend on anymore. LINCOLN: (pause, knowing what she means) Have you heard from Mr. McNeil yet? KRISTIN: Did you know his name wasn’t really McNeil? Were you aware of that? LINCOLN: Yes. I was witness to a transaction when he signed his real name. KRISTIN: Why didn’t you ... why didn’t anyone tell me? How can a person be engaged to marry someone and not even know their real name? LINCOLN: I thought you knew … figured he would have told you. KRISTIN: Then, after we are engaged he tells me that not only is his real name … McNamar … and I don’t know if I believe the story that he changed it to protect his family. But … then he tells me that he is returning to the East to take care of family obligations. And I haven’t heard a word from him. Not a letter. LINCOLN: I’m truly sorry, Miss Ann. KRISTIN: You know, Abraham, I have this strange feeling that he’s not coming back. The strangest part is that I’m not sure I care anymore. Isn’t that something? I thought I was in love with him. Can you imagine thinking someone loves you then they end up loving someone else? LINCOLN: Yes. Yes, I can. Here. Give me that rock. (and he angrily throws it into the water)

(Greg & Tony Song here)

GREEN: (to audience) My name is Wm. Green. I got Abraham and Wm. Berry into the grocery business. I was just standing there in the store one day when they walked in. (in scene) Now, I’ve done it. I’ve really done it this time! BERRY: (entering with Lincoln) Slicky Bill Green! What’s up? GREEN: I’m the proud owner of the Radford store. LINCOLN: What’s the problem? GREEN: I don’t wanna be! BERRY: How’d that happen? GREEN: It was the Clary’s Grove boys. They come in last night and busted the bejesus out of this place. I guess Ruben had had it out with ‘em. He was so mad he wanted out so I offered him $400 for the whole shootin’ match! LINCOLN: So what’s the problem? GREEN: The derned fool actually took me up on it! Heck, I hated the work when I was as Offutt’s store. Now I got the work and worry both! BERRY: Me and Lincoln could run this store, couldn’t we Abraham? LINCOLN: Now, wait a minute. BERRY: Where we gonna get another chance like this? LINCOLN: Slicky, how about you selling the store to me and Berry here? I don’t have a job right now and the both of us could run this store just fine. GREEN: You got any money? BERRY: We’re both broke. How ‘bout you? GREEN: Not a dime. LINCOLN: Then we’re even. You can take our marker and we’ll take your worries. GREEN: (extending his hand) You got a deal. LINCOLN: Reminds of a story. One day an Irishman was stealing a shovel from the front of a store and the preacher saw him. “Paddy!” he shouted. “If you take that shovel, you’ll have to pay for it on judgment day!” “By the powers!” replied Paddy. “If you’ll credit me for so long, I’ll take another!” (laughs) GREEN: (turns to audience) They bought the store on credit … the “National Debt” as Lincoln called it. Anyhow they set up shop. And things didn’t go well. WOMAN: (enters store. Lincoln is reading a book. Green is drinking and laughing) Excuse me? (no response) I said, “Excuse me! I need some corn meal!” LINCOLN: (not looking up) Sure thing, Miz Lankin. Help yourself.You know where it is. WOMAN: (gets meal) Where shall I leave the money? LINCOLN: You know that reminds me of the time I was clerking at Offitt’s store. Fella by the name of Bill came in and asked for a few pennies worth of crackers so I laid them on the counter. Pretty soon he said, “I don’t want these crackers. Give me a glass of cider.” And he drank it and started to leave. “Here, Bill. Pay me for the cider!” “I gave you the crakers for it,” he replied. “But you didn’t pay me for the crackers, I said. “But I didn’t have any crackers,” he said and walked out. I think I lost a few cents but I never could exactly make it out. (laughs and returns to book) Just leave the money on the bench. WOMAN: (does, starts to leave, decides not to say anything to Lincoln and goes to Berry) I’d like some coffee. BERRY: (hardly bothers) Well, you don’t need to bother me. Lincoln can get it for you or you can get it yourself. WOMAN: Well! (leaves in a huff) GREEN: (to audience) Not too surprising that the store winked out. Lincoln read books all day and Berry drank up the profits. Abraham finally paid off his “National Debt.” Took him 17 years to do it. (exits)

MARIAN: (enters and talks to audience) I gotta admit, I shouldn’t be too hard on them boys and their drinkin’. Oh, I’ve seen what it does to a man … turns him stupid … and lazy… and sometimes ... sometimes it just turns him real mean. But I wasn’t always a member of the Temperance Union. Shocks you, does it? Well, let me tell you, brother, when the sinners come forward and confess their life of drinkin’ and carousin’, it ain’t news to this old gal. No sir. I reckon I seen about as many boozers as I have Baptists in my time. When they fall down on their knees and start blubberin’ about the bars and dance halls they’ve seen … well brother, I don’t just recognize their stories … I know the addresses. My daddy ran a showboat from Cincinnati to New Orleans and I knew every honky-tonk piano player and silk-stockinged show girl on the river. I got me religion one night at a Memphis camp meeting but there ain’t a day goes by that I don’t think of them wild days on the river. (the lights come up to reveal a small congregation assembled. Marian turns and immediately becomes the Temperance preacher) MARIAN: And I’m tellin’ you now, brethren, we’ve got to gather up that demon rum! CONGREGATION: Amen! MARIAN: We’ve got to fetch out all that rot-gut whiskey! CONGREGATION: Amen! MARIAN: And we gotta take it down it the banks of that old Sangamon River! CONGREGATION: Amen! MARIAN: And we gotta throw it in! LARGE: (who until now has been a part of the Amen corner) Now wait a minute! CONGREGATION: Amen! MARIAN: Let us now sing a hymn! Do I hear a favorite among the brethren? LARGE: Yeh! “Shall We Gather at the River!” MARIAN: Very well, brother Kelso! Let’s Gather at the River! CONGREGATION: (singing) Shall we gather at the river, The beautiful, the beautiful river, Shall we gather at the river That flows by the throne of God. Shall we gather at the river The beautiful, the beautiful river, Gather with the saints at the river, That flows by the throne of God. (↔ tempo) (Marian) Shall we gather at the river (I went with daddy down to Old New Orleans!) The beautiful, the beautiful river (Danced the night away in Old New Orleans!) Shall we gather at the river (Kicked my heals and let the river take me!) That flows by the throne of God.

Shall we gather at the river (And when I hear banjo playin’) The beautiful, the beautiful river (I get the feelin’ and my knees start swayin’!) Shall we gather at the river That flows by the throne of God!

CONGREGATION: (↔ churcho) Shall we gather at the river, The beautiful, the beautiful river, Shall we gather at the river That flows by the throne of God. Shall we gather at the river The beautiful, the beautiful river, Gather with the saints at the river, That flows by the throne of God. MARIAN: (coming away, over the singing) But I couldn’t keep up that life forever. No sir. That was no place for a gal to be raisin’ a family of eight kids. Eight! Baptists! Dear God, a dancer with eight Baptist kids! It had me all bollixed up! But there wasn’t nothin’ to do but make the best of it. Ain’t much call for showgirls on the Illinois Prairie. But you know, whenever we get down to St. Louis and I hear that old Calliope yell ... Well, it just makes me want to… (↔ tempo) (Marian) Shall we gather at the river (I hear the music and a smile comes on me) The beautiful, the beautiful river (That river spirit starts a flowin’ o’er me!) Shall we gather at the river (My feet are tappin’ and it’s ‘bout to happen!) That flows by the throne of God.

Shall we gather at the river (That feelin’ never leaves me!) The beautiful, the beautiful river (Oh, dear Lord, forgive me!) Shall we gather at the river That flows by the throne of God! (and Marian breaks into a soft-shoe razzmatazz)

(↔ organ-ic) Shall we gather at the river The beautiful, the beautiful river, Gather with the saints at the river, That flows by the throne of God.

(music over) LARGE: Lincoln! You lost your shirt the last time you ran for Congress! I’m thinkin’ you could use a little advice. LINCOLN: Like what, brother Kelso? LARGE: Like … well, like quit bein’ so dad-blamed honest, Abraham! You gotta tell people what they want to hear! Heck, there’ll be plenty of time for truth once you get elected! If you got somethin’ truthful to say, don’t waste it on the campaign, son! MARIAN: And can’t you do something about the way you look, Abraham? LINCOLN: Ma’m? MARIAN: Well, just look at you! Who’d wanna vote for that? LINCOLN: I guess I never thought much about my looks. MARIAN: Well think about it! We send somebody down to Vandalia, we want ‘em to make us look like more than a bunch of scalawag rubes!

GREG: (singing) You gotta be slick TONY: You gotta be quick KRISTIN: You gotta be trickier nowdays MARIAN: You gotta be smooth, GREG: : You gotta be rude, LARGE: You gotta be little bit rowdy. PHYLLIS: You gotta be hot, KRISTIN: you gotta be cold, MARIAN: You gotta jump right on the griddle! TONY: You gotta be right, GREG: You gotta be left, LARGE: You gotta be right down the middle GREG & TONY: When ... you get the job it’s who you know! KRISTIN & PHYLLIS: Then … pretend you made it on your own! ALL: But until you reach the very top Don’t come clean until you get the nod! LARGE: Don’t get real until you’ve got the job! ALL: That’s the way to get ahead!

LARGE: Ya understandin’ us, Lincoln? LINCOLN: Oh, I don’t reckon I’m smart enough to be anything but me. Lyin’ takes too good a memory. MARIAN: Well, you can at least do somethin’ about your clothing and the way you walk and stand. LINCOLN: Walk? How’s a congressman s’posed to walk? LARGE: Sidestep. (Marian slugs him) LINCOLN: How does he stand? LARGE: Depends on how the wind’s blowin’! (he gets popped again)

(counter melody)… MARIAN: Speak out clear! KRISTIN: Hide those ears! MARIAN: Wear your hat! KRISTIN: Mend those pants!

KRISTIN: You need a vest! MARIAN: You need a chest!

MARIAN AND KRISTIN: Abe, your pants don’t even reach your shoes! Oh dear God, what are you gonna do? Even a blind man wouldn’t vote for you! How you gonna get ahead?

LINCOLN: Folks, I ‘preciate all your advice, but I’m not sure I’m cut out for this sort of campainin’. LARGE: Lincoln, there’s two kinds o’ fellas that run for office. One’s the kind who stretches the truth just enough to get hisself elected. We call him a statesman. LINCOLN: What’s the other? LARGE: We call him the loser.

TONY: You gotta be warm, GREG: You gotta be cool PHYLLIS: You gotta be medium rare now! TONY: You gotta be loud PHYLLIS: You gotta be soft LARGE: You gotta have plenty of air now! TONY: You gotta be seen GREG: You gotta be clean PHYLLIS: You gotta be great or we’ll miss you! TONY: You gotta be smart, GREG: You gotta have heart LARGE: You gotta avoid all the issues KRISTIN & MARIAN: MARIAN: Speak out clear!

KRISTIN: Hide those ears!

MARIAN: Wear your hat!

KRISTIN: Mend those pants!

ALL: Then…. When the roll is called we’ll hear….(You need a vest!) Abraham! Let’s all stand up and cheer! (You need a vest!) GREG: Put the other fella in his place! TONY: Don’t turn your cheek, just use your other face! MARIAN: Tell the truth, LARGE: but after you’ve won the race! ALL: That’s the way to get a- That’s the way to get a- That’s the way to get ahead!

LINCOLN: I appreciate all the good advice. I know you’re all trying to help. Reminds me of a story, happened in Springfield. There was a little old lady standing on the corner of a muddy street. A fella, trying to be helpful, picked her up, sloshed through the mud and deposited her on the other side of the street. She said, “Thank you, stranger. I know you mean well, but I was goin’ in the other direction.” That’s what I think I’m doing … going in another direction.

(moves away from townies and begins addressing the audience as if a political speech. During this speech, cast members bring him a black vest and long coat. He puts them on while he is talking.) I know there are men in politics who get there by dishonest means. I know there are men in office who are there to exercise personal power instead of serving others. But I also know those who presently serve, and those in the history of this great nation, who establish a level of service as to reflect pride upon the process of representation. I choose to be one of those. I prefer to bring a straight forward effort to my participation in government. If that be enough, then your vote will be greatly received. I do not wish to suggest that my opponents in this election are not … honorable men. I should not and will not judge them, nor demean their abilities. It is for the citizens to judge whom they wish as their voices in government. It is the most responsible of obligations and it is with profound humility that I pursue that responsibility.

Our system is a government by the people. I intend now, and ever, to bring to that process the maximum effort and integrity this body has to offer … to the state and to our nation. Those who serve in our government should reflect the best qualities our people have to offer. I do not know if I am up to the task … I believe I am. To those of you who agree, I appreciate your vote; should you believe another to be better qualified, you have an obligation to support them and I respect that obligation.

I’ll close with this: if you are to select me as your voice in government, I pledge to you a term of honest endeavor on your behalf. I will lend a attentive ear to you, diligently study the issues, and use whatever common sense that God has allowed me to possess. I am your servant … Abraham.

CAST: (come onstage to sing this as Abraham makes exit through the audience) Sometimes when it blows I’ve got a feelin’ that it knows That there’s a place for me . Where I’ve got to be. I feel the breeze around me, and I hear the lonely sounds of “Come and go with me ... the Wind that Freedom brings.”

(the cast exits and leaves on-stage a tall black hat and as music swells, the light comes down to a single spotlight that illuminates the hat, then fades at …)

END

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