A Terrible Mess At OSS
2014 · Our Saviors School
A Terrible Mess At OSS is a school comedy written by Ken Bradbury for the students of Our Saviors School. The action opens during what is supposed to be the school's evening band concert, when Mr. Shaffer's "final number" is interrupted by a calamity: someone has stolen every real teacher at Our Saviors. Word goes out, the building is locked down, and the famous (and self-impressed) Sheriff Sandy Duvendale is summoned — every mention of his name punctuated by an ominous chord from the band.
Below the gym, in the school basement, the missing faculty sit bound and gagged while the mad Professor Eric Von Bonjean, in lab coat and wild white wig, gloats over his revenge. A former OSS student who claims he was made miserable — forced to study, stand in line for lunch, tuck in his shirttail, and eat his green beans — Von Bonjean has been hiding for years in the basement of the K.C. Hall, plotting his comeback. He is aided by Smeegor, his wormy leg-dragging assistant ("a cross between Smeegal and Igor"), and Carrie Oakey, a gum-chewing, hair-obsessed sidekick who would rather make a salon appointment than guard prisoners.
Built around the OSS Speech Improv Team, the show is a fast, gag-driven romp full of rimshots, running jokes, and audience interaction, with the students racing to free their captured teachers before the sheriff (and his hyperactive deputy Barney) can bumble the case. Ken designed the roles with unisex names so any part could be played by an actor of either sex, and the number of captive teachers could flex to fit the cast.
Cast
- Sheriff Sandy Duvendale
- Barney — the sheriff's hyper, excitable deputy
- Professor Eric Von Bonjean — the mad scientist villain
- Smeegor — Von Bonjean's wormy assistant
- Carrie Oakey — the ditzy, hair-obsessed sidekick
- Shaffer — the bandleader/emcee
- Taylor
- Bailey
- Shannon
- Morgan
- Quinn
- Chandler
- Alex
- The OSS Speech Improv Team and other students
- Mrs. Worrell and the OSS teachers — the captured faculty
Production Notes
Written by Ken Bradbury for Our Saviors School. The play is staged across two areas — the gym floor and the stage level — with movable partitions used to mask the action when an area is not in use, and the OSS band positioned to one side of the gym to provide the show's many musical stings and running gags. All of the student roles carry unisex names so they may be cast with an actor of either sex, and the number of teacher roles is variable to fit the available cast.