The Royal Dating Game
2020 · Jacksonville High School
A madrigal dinner entertainment written by Ken Bradbury for Jacksonville High School, The Royal Dating Game turns a medieval holiday feast into a riotous game show. Toby the Jester guides guests through the evening — the wassail, the blessing, the boar's head, and dinner itself — while keeping up a steady patter of groan-worthy rhyme that the Lords and Ladies keep begging him to abandon.
The conceit is simple and gleefully silly: King Henry VIII, fresh off five marriages, needs a sixth wife, so the court stages "The Dating Game" with three famous bachelorettes from history — Cleopatra of Egypt, Lady Catherine Parr, and the Princess Pocahontas. When the King wanders off to gorge himself on a turkey leg and Lady Parr falls ill, poor Toby is pressed into a falsetto and a dress to keep the contest going. The blindfolded King, groping his way through the dining hall, mistakes guests for horses, oxen, and mules before fixing his blind affections on the panicked Jester himself.
True to the madrigal tradition, the show is built around audience participation. Toby's wassail toasts single out the youngest maid, the oldest man, the most "fruitful" couple, and the pair who has been together longest, with running jokes pinned on named guests around the room. References to Jacksonville are woven throughout, grounding the medieval romp firmly in its hometown audience.
Musical Numbers
- Masters in the Hall
- The Blessing
- Wassail
- The Boar's Head
- Dessert Song / flaming pudding
- A concert interlude while the court waits for the King
Cast
- Toby the Jester — host, guide, and reluctant "Lady Parr"
- Queen — mistress of etiquette and dessert
- King Henry VIII — the six-time bachelor
- Cleopatra — bachelorette number one
- Lady Catherine Parr — bachelorette number three
- Princess Pocahontas — bachelorette number two ("Wingapo")
- Announcer — Dating Game emcee
- Servant — bearer of bad news about the King's appetite
- Lords and Ladies — the singing court
Production Notes
Performed in 2020 at Jacksonville High School as a madrigal dinner entertainment, combining a full medieval feast — salad, dinner, and flaming pudding for dessert — with wassail ceremony, choral singing, and theatrical comedy. The script leans heavily on audience interaction, with toasts and jokes directed at named guests, and closes with Toby chased from the hall by the smitten, blindfolded King: "Once a King, always a King . . . but once a knight is enough!"