2nd career…. NPR… “extended avocation” May-October
Riverboat…Starved Rock… St. Louis… me, Barry, Fox. 2 shows a day. Calliope The boat: authentic paddle wheeler…15 mph. 4 decks. 48 feet tall. 275 tons. 21’ paddlewheel. Landings:…find a tree. Beardstown. Grafton crash. Nationalities… large number of Germans, Australians and Canadians Father and son from Australia…noises at night (next cabin) Canadians: Eh? Eh? . . . Widows Club from Iowa…took over the entertainment. The River Rats Bar Tender… say when. Wine: line up. In general…wonderful guests. Our age. On vacation. When they stay in our area, I become the tour guide. Canadian ladies… Gay Pride Weekend.
“Do you generate your own electricity on the boat?” (No, we have a really long extension cord that stretches all the way back to Peoria.) “Can you see the river from the top deck?” (Only if you open your eyes.) “Will these same people be on the boat tomorrow?” (No, we’re switching them out for a load of longhorn steers in Beardstown.) “Are the restrooms in the same place today?” (I don’t know. Open the door and shout “Party Time!” See what happens) “Do we drink the same water they use in the restrooms?” (Yes, that’s why we ask you to flush twice. It helps keep up the pressure in the bar.) (This one from a lady sitting on the 2nd deck and facing the river…) “Are we on the river yet? (Either that or Peoria is leaking.) “Does the crew go home at night?” (Sure. Didn’t you see our Volkswagens tied to the back of the boat?) “Do you ever run out of gas?” (No, funny thing. Diesel engines never seem to run out of gas.) “Where do all those jumping fish come from?” (Uh…China. They’re really, really good swimmers.) “Do you cook the food on the boat?” (We tried putting the kitchen in St. Louis, but it was so far to walk to get the ketchup.) “What if the boat sinks?” (The river’s 12 feet deep, the boat is 48 feet high. Just go to the top deck and enjoy yourself.) “How does the captain steer the boat?” (Very nicely, thank you.) “How much weight do we gain eating like this?” (Only two pounds…an hour.) “When we stop, does the boat have brakes?” (Yes, it’s called, “Look out! We’re about to hit the dock!”) Most recent: “When did the eagles come back from extinction?
Come join us on the river. It’s a great way to retire.
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