Alberta’s obituary
March 2000
A family is gone. We can make ourselves feel a little better by talking about how their spirit continues to live in the rest of us, but physically speaking, a family is gone. Grandpa and Grandma Orr, Alma Lois, Uncle Junior, Mom.. and now finally, Alberta. I think it’s worth noting. Alberta had perhaps the toughest job, being the last… watching the others leave. She was there at the passing of each… planning, comforting, easing things for all of us with her wit. And now.. today.. she leaves us. It’s worth noting.
Alberta was a winner. She always won. At least I think she always won. She always told me that she’d won.
She once went to Grandpa Orr who was sitting in his chair, smoking his Prince Albert and watching his grandsons tear up the living room, running races up the old wooden staircase, and turning all of Grandma’s pictures sideways with their thundering feet, and said, “You know Daddy, it’s okay to spank your grandchildren.” Grandpa slowly looked up at her and characteristically said, “Huh?” “Here,” said Alberta, “I’ll show you.” Unfortunately for David, he was the next heathen to come running through the living room. She grabbed him in mid-leap and showed Grandpa how it was done. Alberta let David down, David ran away crying, Mark, Keith and I stood snickering behind the bedroom door, and Grandpa looked at her and said. “Oh. Okay.” Alberta always won.
When Grandpa died, Alberta came to me at his house in Perry and asked me to do the eulogy. I was young and inexperienced and frankly, didn’t want to do it. Alberta insisted. Her name may have been Orr, but somewhere in her background there was a touch of Jewish mother since she knew how to lay on the guilt. I agreed.. Guiltily.. After the Grandpa’s funeral the family gathered for a meal and I must admit that I was still a bit angry at Alberta for forcing this speech-giving on me. She could tell I was unhappy. She turned to me and said, “Kenny, you have to do this because it’s your gift.” I got smart with Alberta for the first and only time in my life and said, “Alberta, what gift has God given you?” She replied: “The gift of asking people.” Alberta always won.
How many of us have received a phone call from Alberta, asking us to do something, and when we said we were busy, she replied, “No you aren’t”?
Alberta was a winner..
Alberta and a city boy from Pekin built a thriving implement business on this Illinois prairie. I’m sure that there were many times when it was Alberta’s farm sense that made the difference. And in spite of Jack’s ability to make a point, I have no doubt that Alberta won a great many of those business decisions. Alberta was both a teacher and an administrator. Frankly, I’m a bit glad I didn’t teach under her. Because on one hand she’d have a definite idea on everything I did. On the other, she’d probably be right. In either case, Alberta would win.
Anyone who has been blessed to receive one of her Christmas letters knows that she refused to loose… She never lost her battle to take things in stride, to show that characteristic Orr humor. Whatever tragedy had befallen her that year, Alberta’s ability to use humor to pierce through everything and find the joy showed us that once again, Alberta had won. (And as Mike said to me in an email this week, you had to look closely at Alberta to know whether she was kidding or not.)
Spend a few moments with Mark and you’ll see that same wit. Alberta continues to win.
Get to know the huge compassion of Matt and her many.. and I mean many granddaughters and you’ll know.. You’ll know Alberta won.
Her last public outing, I think, was at Dad’s 80th birthday party last week. Mark wheeled her up the front steps and put her at the end of the dining room table. I knelt beside her and told her that it looked as if she had the place of honor. “Sure,” she said. “Put me right here where I can get stepped on.” When Grandma Orr died, Alberta took up the job of hosting the family Christmas. Last Christmas she told me, “I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to do this.” I told her that maybe I should start hosting it. She said, “Then maybe I’ll change my mind.” You won, Alberta.
I feel a bit counterfeit today, standing in front of so many people who knew Alberta even better than I but if Alberta were here and if I were to mention that some of you should be giving the speech rather than I, she’d look at me and say, “No. You can do it.” Alberta would win.
Much has been said in recent years about women’s place in the world, about their liberation, about their taking on leadership roles. The Grandsons of Ralph and Marie must be excused if they don’t seem to know what all this talk is about. Women in leadership, women who are co-yoked with their mates strong, determined women, are all we’ve ever known. A teacher, an administrator, a business woman, a leader in her church and community, a grandmother with yearning to share her wisdom, a wit, a friend to so many, and a close friend to her relatives. A winner.
And finally.. and most importantly, Alberta left two generations of family and friends who put their trust in Christ and believed in His salvation. Finally … and most importantly, Alberta won.
I received an email last night from a lady who had never met Alberta but knew of her and her accomplishments.. “Ken, isn’t it neat that your aunt’s family is all together again?” Yes. Alberta’s home. They’ve all won.
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