Ways to Maintain Your Sanity Humor List

Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill.
Make a list of things you have already done.
Bill your doctor for the time you spent in his waiting room.
Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
Read the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages.
When someone says "Have a nice day!" tell them you have other plans.
Thumb through the National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
Put your toddlers clothes on backward and send her off to preschool as if nothing is wrong.
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Put M&M's on layaway.
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "Pick me!! Pick me!!" and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"