← Speeches & Workshops

Group I:

Brittany Davis Cydney Musch Elisabeth Werries Katie Evans Group II Kendi Sayer Megan Lynn Kaitlyn Jackson Alana Bunfill

Group III: Matthew Burrus Griffin Greene Colin Andrews Toni Gomer

Hoe Down!

MEGAN: Grab your partner, do-si-do! Come on in for a Hoedown show!

ALL: Boil them cabbage down, down, Turn them hoecakes round, round. The only song I ever sing is boil them cabbage down.

GROUP II: Chicken in a bread pan pickin’ out dough! One more girl and on you go! Don’t be fast and don’t be slow! Chicken in a bread pan pickin’ out dough!

GROUP III: Fare-thee-well, my blue-eyed girl! Fare-thee-well, my lady! Fare-thee-well, my blue-eyed girl! You almost drive me crazy!

GROUP I: Dip for the oyster, dive for the stew! Dip for the oyster and come on through! Grab your lady by the hand And promenade to the Promised Land!

ALL: Boil them cabbage down, down, Turn them hoecakes round, round. The only song I ever sing is boil them cabbage down.

COLIN: Oh my gosh! I think I just backed over your cow! MATTHEW: My cow! What did he look like! COLIN: Like this! (imitates a dead cow) MATTHEW: I mean, what did he look like before you ran over him! COLIN: Oh. Like this! (imitates a dead cow about to get run over)

KATIE: Wow! A Three-legged chicken! GRIFFIN: Yep. I breed ‘em to have three legs because I like drumsticks! KATIE: How do they taste? GRIFFIN: Don’t know. Ain’t been able to catch one yet.

ALL: Boil them cabbage down, down, Turn them hoecakes round, round. The only song I ever sing is boil them cabbage down.

GROUP III: You get a line and I’ll get a pole, honey! GROUP I & II: Honey? GROUP III: You get a line and I’ll get a pole, babe! GROUP I & II: Babe? GROUP III: You get a line and I’ll get a pole and we’ll go down to the crawdad hole! ALL: Honey…oh baby…mine.

GROUP III: Yonder comes a man with a pack on his back, honey! GROUP I & II: Honey! GROUP III: Yonder comes a man with a pack on his back, babe! GROUP I & II: Babe! GROUP III: Yonder comes a man with a pack on his back, says… COLIN: “You put those crawdads back!” ALL: Honey, oh baby..mine.

ALL: Look around! Look around! Come and join that happy hunting ground! BOYS: Seven women to each guy.. What a lovely way to die! ALL: Honey, oh baby, mine.

GROUP I: What’re you gonna do when the well runs dry, honey? GROUP II & III: Honey! GROUP I: What’re you gonna do when the well runs dry, babe? GROUP II & III: Babe? GROUP I: What’re you gonna do when the well runs dry? MATTHEW: “Sit and watch them crawdads die! ALL: Honey…..oh baby…..mine.

GRIFFIN: (scoops) ALANA: Hey! What’re you doin’? GRIFFIN: I’m scoopin’ this corn! ALANA: Why don’t you come over and play ball? GRIFFIN: Naw. My pa wouldn’t like it. COLIN: Hey! What’re you doin’? GRIFFIN I’m scoopin’ this corn! COLIN: Let’s go skinny-dippin’ down in the creek! GRIFFIN: Naw. My pa wouldn’t like it. KENDI: Hey! What’re you doin’? GRIFFIN I’m scoopin’ this corn! KENDI: Let’s go tip over an outhouse. GRIFFIN: Naw. My pa wouldn’t like it. KENDI: Where is your pa anyway? GRIFFIN He’s underneath this corn!

ALL: Boil them cabbage down, down, Turn them hoecakes round, round. The only song I ever sing is boil them cabbage down.

KAITLYN: The Camptown ladies sing this song…Doo-Dah! ALL: Doo-dah? KAITLYN: Camptown race track five miles long, ALL: Oh, da doo-da day.

ALL: Goin’ to run all night! Goin’ to run all day!

TONI: I bet my money on a bob-tailed nag. ALL: Somebody bet on da bay.

GRIFFIN: (gets in car and drives…Collin beside him: the pig) KENDI: (siren noise, comes beside him) Hey! What’re you doin’ with that pig in your car? GRIFFIN: I just found him on the road! KENDI: That’s terrible! I want you to take that pig to the zoo! GRIFFIN: Okay! (they drive a circle, then return) KENDI: (siren sound) You again? I told you yesterday to take that pig to the zoo! GRIFFIN: I did! And we had such a good time we’re goin’ to the ballgame today!

MATTHEW: I had an uncle who used to think he was a chicken. CYDNEY: Really? MATTHEW: Yeah. My aunt wanted to divorce him but she didn’t. CYDNEY: Why not? MATTHEW: We needed the eggs!

(slower….snap, snap, snap, snap) KENDI: I've got a mule, and her name is Sal, 
ALL: Fif-teen miles on the Er-ie canal, 
KENDI: She's a good ol' worker and a good ol' pal, 
ALL: Fifteen miles on the Er-ie can-al, 
GROUP I: We've hauled some barges in our day, 
Filled with lum-ber coal and hay, 
GROUP II:And ev'ry inch of the way we know 
From Al-ba-ny to Buff-a-lo OH

ALL: Low bridge! ev'-ry bod-y down! 
Low bridge! For we're com-in to a town, 
ALANA: And you al-ways know your neighbor, 
You'll always know your pal, 
ALL: If you've ev-er navigated on the Er-ie can-al

ELISABETH: "May I help you?" 
COLIN: "Yeah, I want one those deevorce's." 
ELISABETH: "Well do you have any grounds?" 
COLIN: "Yea, I got about 140 acres." 
ELISABETH: "No you don't understand, do you have a case?" 
COLIN: "No I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." 
ELISABETH: "No, you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge." 
COLIN: "Yea, I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere." 
ELISABETH: "No, no, do you have a suit?" 
COLIN: "Yes Sir, I got a HYPERLINK "http://www.eforu.com/jokes/farmer/5356.html" \t "undefined" suit, I wear it to Church on Sundays." 
ELISABETH: "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" 
COLIN: No sir, we both get up about 4:30."

ALL: Boil them cabbage down, down, Turn them hoe-cakes round, round. The only song I ever sing is boil them cabbage down.

GROUP I: I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee, I'm going to Louisiana, my true love for to see GROUP II: It rained all night the day I left, the weather it was dry The sun so hot I froze to death; Susanna, don't you cry.

ALL: Oh, Susanna, don't you cry for me I come from Alabama, with my banjo on my knee.

GROUP III: I had a dream the other night when everything was still, I thought I saw Susanna coming up the hill, MEGAN: The red, red rose was in her hand, BRITTANY: the tear was in her eye, GROUP I: I said I'm coming from Dixieland, Susanna don't you cry.

BRITTANY: I’ll soon be in New Orleans and then I'll look around ELISABETH: And when I find my gal Susanne, I'll fall upon the ground CYDNEY: But if I do not find you there, then I will surely die KATIE: And when I'm dead and buried, Susanna don't you cry.

ALL: Oh, Susanna, don't you cry for me I come from Alabama, With my banjo on my knee.

MATTHEW: I got a complaint! TONI: What’s the matter? MATTHEW: I bought these baby chickens from you last week and they ain’t growed a bit! TONI: That’s strange. MATTHEW: Yeah…maybe I planted ‘em too close together.

CYDNEY: Hey! My car’s stuck in the ditch! Could you pull me out with your horse? GRIFFIN: Sure thing mister. (hooks horse to car) Okay! Pull, Tommy! Pull! (nothing) Pull Marcy, Pull! (nothing) Pull, Timmy, pull! (nothing) Okay…Pull Buster! (moves forward) There you go, lady. CYDNEY: But why’d you call him three wrong names? GRIFFIN: Buster’s blind. If he thought he was only one pulling he wouldn’t even tried.

MEGAN: Square dance! (dancing) ALL: Boil them cabbage down, down, Turn them hoe-cakes round, round. The only song I ever sing is boil them cabbage down.

Boil them cabbage down, down, Turn them hoe-cakes round, round. The only song I ever sing is boil them cabbage down.

2009 Triopia Speech Contest, Chorale

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