If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer… If you’re a pretender, come sit by my fire For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!
FOR SALE One sister for sale! One sister for sale! One crying and spying young sister for sale! I’m really not kidding, so who’ll start the bidding? Do I hear a dollar? A nickel? A penny? Or isn’t there, isn’t there, isn’t there any One kid who will buy this old sister for sale? This crying and spying young sister for sale? (Whimper)
YUCK I stepped in something yucky as I walked by the crick. I grabbed a stick to scrape it off, The yuck stuck to my stick. I tried to pull it off the stick, The yuck stuck to my hand. I tired to wash it off—but it stuck to the washin’ pan. I called my dog to pull me loose, the yuck stuck to his fur. He rubbed himself against the cat, the yuck got stuck to her. My friends and neighbors came to help------ Now all of us are stuck. Which goes to show what happens when one person sticks in yuck.
SLEEPING SARDINES “I’m tired of eating just beans,” says I. So I opened a can of sardines. But they started to squeak. “Hey! We’re tryin’ to sleep! We were snuggled in tight ‘til you let in the light! You big silly sap, let us finish our nap! Now close up the lid!” So that’s what I did. Will somebody please pass the beans?
LOVE Ricky was our “L” but he’s home with the flu. Lizzie, our “O” had some homework to do, Mitchell, “E” probably got lost on the way. So I’m all of love that could be here today.
MY HOBBY When you spit from the twenty-sixth floor And it floats on the breeze to the ground, Does it fall upon hats Or on white Persian cats Or on heads with a pitty-pat sound? I used to think life was a bore, But I don’t feel that way anymore, As I count up the hits, As I smile as I sit, As I spit from the twenty-sixth floor.
GARDENER We gave you a chance to water the plants We didn’t mean that way….Now zip up your pants!
SIDEWALKING They say if you step on a crack, you will break your mother’s back. But that’s just silly…ha, ha, ha! (scream) Oops! Sorry, Ma!
HICCUP CURE Hic…………… Hic . . . . . . . Hic. .. . . . . Want to cure your hiccups quick? Stick out your tongue and bite your lip! Hold your breath and shake one hip! Pull back your left foot and kick up! Now, you see, we’re cured your hiccup! Nothing much to it… . don’t you feel swell>? (wait, then. . ) Hiccup! Oh well. . . . . . .
DEAF DONALD Deaf Donald met Talkie Sue But (make the gestures) was all he could do. And Sue said, “Donald, I sure do like you!” But (gesture) was all he could do. And Sue asked Donald, “Do you like me too?” But (gesture) was all he could do. “Good-bye then, Donald. I’m leaving you.” But (gesture) was all he DID do. And she left forever, so she never knew That (gesture) means “I love you.!”
THE UNION FOR CHILDREN’S RIGHTS Strike! Strike! For children’s rights! Longer weekends! Shorter school hours! Higher allowances! Less baths and showers! No brussel sprouts! More root beer! And seventeen summer vacations a year! If you’re ready to strike, sign up right here!
ONE TWO! One two, buckle my shoe. Buckle your own shoe! Who said that? I did. What are you doing with those silly buckles on your shoes anyway? Three, four, shut the door. You shut it! You opened it! Uh….five, six, pick up sticks. Why should I pick them up? Do you think I’m your slave? Buckle my shoe, shut the door, pick up sticks, next thing you’ll be telling me to lay them straight! But it’s only a poem!.. nine, ten, a big fat… oh, never mind.
PRAYER OF THE SELFISH CHILD Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep If I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my toys to break So none of the other kids can use ‘em. …. Amen.
Best Mask They just had a contest for the scariest mask, And I was the wild and daring one Who won the contest for the scariest mask…. And (sob) I’m not even wearing one!
MA AND GOD God gave us fingers…. Ma says, “Use your fork!” God gave us voices- - - Ma says, “Don’t scream!” Ma says eat broccoli, cereal and carrots. But God gave us tasteys for maple ice cream.
God gave us fingers. . .Ma says “Use your hanky!” God gave us puddles… Ma says “Don’t splash!” Ma says, “Be quiet, your father is sleeping!” But God gave us garbage can covers to crash!
God gave us fingers… Ma says, “Put your gloves on!” God gave us raindrops. . .Ma says, “Don’t get wet!” Ma says be careful, and don’t get to near to those strange lovely dogs that God Gave us to pet.
God gave us fingers. . . Ma says, “Go wash ‘em!” But God gave us coal bins and nice dirty bodies. And I ain’t too sure, but there’s one thing for certain.. . . Either Ma’s wrong or else God is.
JUMPING ROPE This started out as a jumping rope You probably think that I’m a dope But this started out as a jumping rope And now I fear that there is no hope But this started out as a jumping rope
THE BATTLE Would you like to hear of the terrible night When I bravely fought the . . . . No! All right.
THE LITTLE BOY AND THE OLD MAN Said the little boy, “Sometimes I drop my spoon.” Said the little old man, “I do that too.” The little boy whispered, “I wet my pants.” “I do that too,” said the little old man. Said the little boy, “I often cry.” The old man nodded, “So do I.” “But worst of all,” said the boy, “it seems grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.” And he felt the warmth of wrinkled old hand. “I know what you mean,” said the little old man.
LITTLE ABIGAIL AND THE BEAUTIFUL PONY There was a girl named Abigail who was taking a drive through the country With her parents when she spied a beautiful sad-eyed grey and white pony. And next to it was a sign that said, “For Sale!.. . . Cheap!” “Oh!” said Abigail. “May I have that pony? May I please?” And her parents said, “No you may not.” And Abigail said, “But I must have that pony.” And her parents said, “Well, you can’t have that pony but you can have a nice butter pecan ice cream cone when we get home.” And Abigail said, “I don’t want a butter pecan ice cream cone! I WANT THAT PONY! I MUST HAVE THAT PONY!” And her parents said, “Be quiet and stop nagging. .. You’re NOT getting that pony.” And Abigail began to cry and said, “If I don’t get that pony I’ll die!” And her parents said, “You won’t die. No child ever died yet from not getting a pony.” And Abigail felt so bad that when they got home she went to bed, And she couldn’t eat, and she couldn’t sleep, and her heart was broken And she DID DIE!.. All because of that pony that her parents wouldn’t buy. (This is a good story to tell your folks when they won’t buy you something you want.”
True Story This morning I jumped on my horse and went out for a ride And some wild outlaws chased me and they shot me in the side. So I crawled into a wildcat’s cave to find a place to hide. But some pirates found me sleeping there, and soon they had me tied to a pole and built a fire under me! I almost cried! ‘Til a mermaid came and cut me loose and begged to be my bride, So I said I’d come back Wednesday but I must admit I lied. Then I ran into a jungle swamp but I forgot my guide And I stepped into some quicksand, and no matter how I tried I couldn’t get out Until I met a water snake named Clyde, Who pulled me to some cannibals who planned to have me fried. But an eagle came a swooped me up and through the air we flied! (Flied?) But he dropped me in a boiling lake a thousand miles wide. And you’ll never guess what I did then! What? I died.
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PAGE 7 2003 Triopia Chorale Silverstein Stuff