Illinois College Phi Alpha Lecture

November 2006 Illinois College led me astray and other neat places.

Thanks, Frank and Phi Alspha.. and thank you to Congressman Findley who got me into this. Growing up: only one Republican we were allowed to mention in my house: Paul Findley. Asked KVA… “Phi Alpha lecture..something intellectual?” “No, just be yourself.”

Nice intro IC convo many years ago… What Intros are sometimes worth: Cerro Gordo.. Famous Authors Day…

By the way, to support I.C…. I will be voting for…Tim Nieukirk (New-Kirk) for Governor. Year’s supply of Caven Sullivan’s deer urine

The most valuable lesson I ever received from a liberal arts Illinois College education: The desire to get out of here. (I’ll explain that in a minute.) The knowledge that there’s more to life than Illinois College..and Jacksonville…and the United States.

I was met at the door of Barnes House in 1967 by the Dean of students Don Eldred. He called me by name. He’d memorized all of our pictures. Things have changed little. Only details… Beanies, (show.. jock strap) dorm visitations (Still shocks me to see men walk in the front door of Ellis and Pixley.. we had to use the back windows) food is better. (In Baxter we once had a “Name that meat” contest.)

‘60’s… tried to protest but there was little to protest at IC. Then: only miss 3 convos and 3 chapels per semester. John Porter… atop chapel… no feet… now a member of Illinois College Board of Trustees.. Bill Beeson… Student Body president. lead protest against compulsory chapel, lived under desk in Crampton for 3 weeks.. Now: Dr. Bill Beeson….Dr.of Theology, I think.. Tried a streak off with MacMurray.. then Channel 20 turned on cameras.

I used to sleep during Convo. My friends did homework, but that was too demanding. I often slept. If you are sleeping today, I hope you’re dreaming. One thing that hasn’t changed.. IC is still a good place to dream.

I entered IC, Undertaker/moritician.. Then, met a man who changed my mind.. and my life. ---Dr. Charles Frank was perhaps the most popular professor on campus during his many years here. “Chuckling Charlie” He laughed through his lectures. Would interrupt his lectures on Shakespeare and Chaucer at least four times a class period to tell of his travels around the world. ---Dr. Eythl Seybold would tell of her travels in England and Wales. ---Professor Eldred will interrupt Journalism class to talk about his summers studying in England. ---Even a biology professor who would keep telling us that we’ve got to go to Texas to say we’ve truly lived. ---But the man who turned me on to the world of words and travel.. Dr. Charles Frank.

1979.. my first tour.. Taking students around the world.. .. because of Dr. Frank, and Illlinois College, I started traveling.

They say before you choose a college roommate or marry someone, you should first travel with them. Mark Twain: I HAVE FOUND THAT THERE AIN’T NO SURER WAY TO FIND Out WHETHER YOU LIKE PEOPLE OR HATE THEM THAN TO TRAVEL WITH THEM

I lived in 211 Gardner.. and made the mistake of not traveling with mine first. He and I lived together our freshman year, pledged Pi Pi Rho together, graduated together and didn’t speak for the next ten years. Good friends now. In the first place, you can’t get away from I.C. ---Touring Heidelberg Castle in Germany. Strolling through the wine cellar. Dark.. Literally ran into a group from Illinois College. ----Looking at the Lion Monument in Lucerne, Switzerland. Stepped back to take a picture. Ran into a lady. “Didn’t you go to Illinois College?” ---Last year, Alaska.. nearly all were Illinois College grads or current students.. met a group from Carbondale.. Priest.. “Hey! I went to Illinois College!”

Robert Benchley: IN AMERICA THERE ARE TWO CLASSES OF TRAVEL: FIRST CLASS AND WITH CHILDREN.

But you don’t have to be a college student to show this attitude toward life. ---Beardstown Ladies...King’s Cross...Sydney Australia In their 70’s and 80’s.. including two I.C. grads.

....Tahiti (Maroa), Jeremy, Paul Gogan Landed in Hawaii: FBI. (“My mom found out about the pictures.”) Jeremy Scott, international terrorist. Jeremy entered his photos in a National Geographic photo contest: won the JR division.

John Stenbeck: A JOURNEY IS LIKE MARRIAGE. THE CERTAIN WAY TO BE WRONG IS TO THINK YOU CONTROL IT. ---Beth K...Bullfight(Beth: J’ville’s 1st lady firefighter)

Noel Coward opinion on air travel: “HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT?” WELL, AERONAUTICALLY IT WAS A GREAT SUCCESS. SOCIALLY, IT LEFT QUITE A BIT TO BE DESIRED.

...Air Italia...cockpit window. ---Worst airline ever: Aeoflat..Aro-flop.. Most takeoffs and landings landed three times each time. (But best security) (no flight attendants.. they got off…. Russians: drunk. Kids took charge)

Champaign Dave...getting out of Soviet Union. Continental: My vote for the worst domestic airlines.. Cleveland… van cab ….. propane

There are a few foreign customs for which even living in Garnder Hall didn’t prepare me..

..Unisex Toilets...concentration.. Jodi and Susan...bathtubs. . . Moscow: female restoom attendants

Southern Spain…. brushed teeth with Pepsi … rabies epidemic ..French Bidet...Rick: (now a J’ville lawyer) Sock washer...wet pant legs ..Greatest shock: (All-girl group, London) “What time would you like your girls knocked up?”

TRULY UNFORGETABLE MOMENTS: ..Ladies in rags waiting for hours to take communion in Soviet Union. ...Seeing St. Basil’s cathedral in Red Square for the first time. ..Ireland...Preacher Frank from West Virginia clearing out a bar for church ..Assisi... Two olive-skinned ladies on tour

--Craig, Lucerne, Richard, communion

....FINALLY: The story I never tell if any future travelers in the audience. Part of it was printed in USA TODAY last year. (Eric: now one of your J’ville UPS men) .Paris-Madrid train.

Bottom line: My Illinois College education has nearly gotten me killed on numerous occasions, but it’s been worth every mile of it.

I think that the best thing Illinois College can give you is the desire to get out. I. C. has been famous for that. I hope it still is. I enjoyed emailing Matt Snodgrass last year as he studied in Wales. This year I get weekly reports from Jess Romano in Spain. Spent several delightful evenings last year visiting with your I.C. visitors from Japan…who told me that the Best Buffet isn’t really very authentic, but it they liked the rice.

And by the way… can’t get away from I.C. when traveling domestically. Last year I took a group of folks on an excursion of the Illinois River from Peoria to Starved Rock. When I got on the boat, a gorgeous gal was the first mate..checking us in. Saw my address… said, “Hey! You ever heard of Gamma Delta?” … an I.C. grad. (stood on top deck with arms around each other and sang.. “Gamma.. Gamma Delta..”

You probably don’t remember this, but when you were very small, and you closed your eyes at night, you thought the world stopped…then began again when you awoke. You were wrong, of course. When I was five, my parents took me to Cuba on vacation..three days before Castro took over. We stopped in North Carolina on the way down and a lady at a grocery store looked at me and said, “You have an accent.” That was stupid. I mean, I spoke correctly and everyone had an accent. I, of course, was wrong. When you were in high school you defined your world according to the people you knew there. You, of course, were wrong. Now you are in college and although you’re smarter about these things and your circle of acquaintances is larger, you are still haven’t seen the real picture. We live in perhaps the most xenophobic nation in the world because of our size and our power. And we, of course, are wrong. In the past few years we’ve begun to pay the price of waking up so late in our history. One of the greatest gifts Illinois College gave me was the desire to get out…to move… to see and experience and smell and taste and step outside myself. I hope that you someday have a teacher who kicks you out…into the world.

Professor Kevin Klein’s webpage: (From Chief Seattle) What befalls the earth befalls all the sons of the earth. This we know: the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man does not weave this web of life. He is merely a strand of it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself."

Happy Travels

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