K The Ken Bradbury Foundation

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Kate Scott, Brandon Cook, Zach Pickens, Calla Kauffman

Music, then ZACH: Dear Open Line… Kids today got nothin’ to do! KATE: Four scholarship applications and they’ve got to be done tonight! CALLA: When I die, bury me in college applications. BRANDON: Today? It’s due today? ZACH: Great. I’ve got that meeting before school, three tests today, another practice after school then that thing tonight…and my paper’s due tomorrow! KATE: Dear Open Line: Kids today have it too easy. All they do is sit around. CALLA: Maybe if I go without sleep the rest of the year…. ZACH: How can you make so many mistakes in one day?! BRANDON: I get up early. (Music) BRANDON: Prom? Have you seen what a corsage costs? I wonder if she’d just settle for lettuce. ZACH: Does McDonald’s have a pre-prom special? KATE: I didn’t really flunk that class. I’m just “passing impaired.” CALLA: Dear Open Line: If boys today would just pull their pants up then they might learn something. KATE: And what are you going to be when you get out of school? BRANDON: An old man. KATE: I’m not kidding! She’s got the nerve to wear a dress just like mine to Prom! Just like mine! I’ll bet she heard what I was wearing and then went out and bought the very same dress! I cannot believe the nerve of that girl! CALLA: She bought hers first. KATE: That doesn’t make any difference. It was a cheap shot. (Music) BRANDON: Dear Open Line: I think it says in the Bible somewhere that kids who skateboard will go to hell. ZACH: I wanted to grow up to play basketball like Nick Lonergan. CALLA: I wanted to be able to sing like Makenzie Albracht KATE: Instead I play basketball like Mr. Stowers and sing like Mr. McCoy. ZACH: Uh…I’m sorry, but Zach won’t be at school today. CALLA: Who is this calling? ZACH: This is my mother. (Music) KATE: Mom, I know he’s a nice boy! Heck, he’s even doing 500 hours of community service! CALLA: I think the only way you can change man is if he’s in diapers. KATE: Honest, Mr. McGiles! My shorts aren’t too revealing! My middle finger is just too short! CALLA: Okay, look…if a girl asks if you love her, the only good answer is yes. Some really bad answers are: ZACH: a. I suppose so. BRANDON: b. That depends on what you mean by love. ZACH: c. Does it matter? BRANDON: Or d. Who? Me? (Music) KATE: And if she says, “Do you think that girl is prettier than me?” Here are the Incorrect responses: ZACH: a. Yes, but you have a better personality. BRANDON: b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner. ZACH: Or C.. Uh…define pretty CALLA: Dear Open Line, these stupid kids wantin’ to hot rod everywhere and do drugs. Why can’t they do like my old man…just get drunk and beat the crap out of me? I turned out okay! BRANDON: Hey! I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test! KATE: I agree, but that’s the lowest grade I could give you. CALLA: Please listen to this morning’s announcements. This year’s prom, Midnight in Murrayville, will cost $50. ZACH: The senior graduation announcement package lists at $125. BRANDON: The Crimson T-shirts are ten dollars. KATE: Your prom dress will cost exactly one-half the price of your car. CALLA: The premium senior picture package is $321. ZACH: Your camp and gown will cost $41. KATE: Anyone wishing to sell their little sister to pay for graduation should get the adoption forms in the front office. ZACH: Dear Open Line, I’m tired of payin’ more money for education down at the high school. I didn’t have no fancy computers and IPad machines when I growed up and it didn’t affect me none neither. (Music) ZACH: Okay, this year we have a new test that JHS Seniors must pass before they graduate. First Question, Romance! Name Four things to look for in a boyfriend: KATE: It’s important that a boy never lies to you. CALLA: It’s important that a boy treats you with respect. KATE: It’s important that a boy makes you laugh. CALLA: It’s important that these three boys never meet each other. (Short Music) KATE: Okay! List the reasons why it’s great to be a guy! ZACH: You can open jars. BRANDON: You understand why Sponge Bob is funny. ZACH: You have shorter bathroom lines. BRANDON: When clicking through the TV channels you don’t stop at every shot of someone crying. ZACH: Your never have to worry about your butt. (Short Music) CALLA: Next! What’s the difference between men and women? BRANDON: Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. KATE: Women have more imagination. They need it to tell men how wonderful they are. ZACH: Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Men in restrooms will never speak a word to each other. And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, “Hey, Tom, I was just about to take a leak. Do you want to join me? CALLA: Dear Open Line, I overheard three JHS kids at McDonalds talking about taking ACT’s. Is that a drug? BRANDON: Your attention please. Due to budget cuts, Mr. HYPERLINK "http://morgan.k12.il.us/jvsd117/Chelsvig_Norway_Journal.html" Chelsvig’s annual summer educational trip will be to Roodhouse. CALLA: Dear Open Line, the traffic getting into JHS this morning was awful. A lady had a baby waiting for the light to change and she wasn’t even pregnant when she left home. (Music) ZACH: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you? BRANDON: Not very much. CALLA: Dear Mom and Dad… It’s been great being your daughter but I’m leaving home tonight. .. BRANDON: It’s been great being your son, but I’m taking a pair of clean underwear and sneaking out… (Music UNDER this……..) KATE:…I signed up for college today and they wanted to know my major. …. ZACH:…The guidance counselor said I need to plan for the size of family I want to have. … CALLA: …My English teacher wants me to write a paper on my future goals and dreams…. BRANDON: …Under future plans I wrote, “How should I know? I’m confused!”… KATE:…I’m not ready to make any of these decisions yet, so I’m signing up for the Peace Corps in Uganda …. CALLA:…I’m joining the Salvation Army in Bosnia…. ZACH:…I’m joining a circus in Pakistan…. BRANDON:...I’m becoming a nun… KATE: …I’m going to run away to the end of the world…Murrayville. ZACH: Dear Open Line. I wish I was a senior in high school again. The kids have it so easy. Music… First speech at JHS… Public Speaking…Roger Fox: teen prostitution Seniors, Triopia, JHS, Pittsfield..Australia..missed last two days. You’ve got how many days left? A real temptation to think of summer..getting out..college.. a place of your own. Use these few remaining days… Three pieces of advice:

  1. Get your act together. 2. Take a look at who you’re sitting with today. 3. Even though you’re dying to graduate, don’t forget to live. Get your act together…I was senior class sponsor for 18 years. I know the load of things you’re going to have coming at you in the next few weeks…2 kinds: the kind you expect and the kind you don’t. Those you expect: getter done. Do them on time. Do them early. Don’t cheat yourself out of the really fun stuff because you’re busy playing catch-up. A wild guess…there are people in this room who are constantly late…Who are constantly forgetting to do things? Not to mention names, a JHS senior is in my Lincoln Land class…He has to do one written assignment a week…I have to keep reminding him. …Zach. It takes a heck of a lot of work and planning to graduate. Over the years we’ve piled on more parties and meetings and banquets and forms to fill out, but we haven’t taken anything away. You’ve got a lot of people to please in the next few weeks and you probably can do it all..so here’s some advice. HINEY THE MULE 2.Get to know each other…& simply Be yourself You’re about to graduate with some people who you don’t know. Watch… you’ve got a lot in common… Who used to take one step into bed…cover all but breathing hole? Who’s still afraid of the dark? Get your mind off yourself…You’re going to spend the next 80 years with yourself but you’ve only got a few weeks to spend with the people in this room right now. JHS girl.. CFS. Becky…funeral… How many days ‘til graduation? ___ You’ve got that many days to get to know the people in this room. You wanna be miserable? Think about yourself. You wanna be happy today? Get involved in somebody’s else life.. be concerned about them..get to know them. Be Yourself … Quest...Inner-Outer Self…Two Fingers

  2. Don’t Forget to Live…. IN THE PRESENT …even while I’m speaking… Heather Baccus…. Lighten up.... Matt…baritone Chillochothe...”probably dead” LIGHTEN UP.... ....go barefoot more often ....Invite some friends over who you usually don’t hang around and bring your elementary school pictures..then laugh your butts off. ...eat nothing but ice cream for a whole day. ...wear underwear backwards...will break into uncontrollable giggles for no reason every time you think about it. ....walk up to biggest grouch you know and say “I just want you to know that I feel great!” It’ll throw them off all day. ...do some serious coloring ...plan a hiking trip down the Mauvaisterre Creek …Kids used to go up town and sit on the statue in the middle of the square.. Go Re-tro. Do it again! … Meet at Nichol’s park and play every dumb game you ever played when you were a kid. ...break the dress code occasionally. Your own, not the schools. …make yourself a deal…one new senior.. “You’re in my class. Who in the heck are you?” .....McDonnald’s “Have a nice Day” Why? Live in the Present 3 things in life are real...WHEN YOU’RE BORN, WHEN YOU DIE WHEN YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ANOTHER PERSON’S LIFE in everything else...LIGHTEN UP.

  3. Get your act together. 2. Get to know each other. 3. Don’t forget to live. Church lady...music at her funeral. Jeff W...Free Spirit..Robbed and tied. Travel LIghter...Your anxieties? Look in your purse or pocket or billfold...ME: comb. Roger Ebert. One final bit of advice…stop being so stinking normal. Taught a senior class of free spirits…they broke all the rules of what’s normal.. They had wrote their graduation announcements and saved about $300 each. Prom….all from GoodWill, Dollar General, and the Salvation Army. Triopia graduation…seniors wrote notes. Despite what you hear on Fox News tonight..the world really is a pretty cool place. Welcome to it.

  4. Get your act together. 2. Get to know each other. 3. Don’t forget to live.

JHS Senior Thing..2011

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