Kiwanis/Rotary Dec 2005
Larry Armstrong.. “What do they need?” “Something to keep them awake.” And I’ve spoken here before and know that some of you get up and leave after five minutes so I’ll be brief Talked to _______ of the Rotary. Told him I didn’t know the Kiwanians would be here today as well. He said, “Don’t worry, just speak slower.”
Here’s the deal: This is Thursday. You have only Friday and Saturday to do last minute shopping. I know most of you. I know you put things off. And since I once had Bruce Surratt as a student, I know some of you lack taste.
Ten Last minute gift shopping ideas…
-----My book… Homerville… $13. County Market.. creativeideas.com I know that some of you have already bought the book, but I’ve yet to meet a person who’s actually read it.
---Christmas gift #2 to yourself: Read it.
#3 ----New trend… used to be called being cheap and tacky. Now: regifting… Repackaging your gifts and giving them to others. The type of things you regift nearly always come from relatives. They are usually clothing. ----My newer idea: regift your relatives. The world is full of fatherless children. Send them Uncle Fred. There are children who’ve never known their mother… send them Aunt Ruth. So, you may ask… what if no one will take your relative? Frankly, after having taught for 35 years, I see nothing wrong with putting 12-year-olds on EBay. I remember the first time we took Keith to WalMart. They said “No, you didn’t buy him here, we can’t take him back.”
#4----Tickets to Dinner is Served… Hamiltons, Jan 4, 5, 6. (6th sold out) Following weekend at Café from Yesterday in Beardstown. As today’s paper said, it’ll be “Ham on the stage and Prime Rib on your plate.” 479-4035, Jacksonville Main Street at HYPERLINK "javascript:open_compose_win('to=info%40jacksonvillemainstreet.com&thismailbox=INBOX');" info@jacksonvillemainstreet.com
#5 ---If you have a spouse who won’t tell you what they want for Christmas, buy something for yourself. After all, they say they want you to be happy. And chances are… next year they will make themselves plainer. In fact, they might make themselves more plain as soon as you open your gift. Dad: chainsaw.
#6 ---Give your sense of humor. Things are not going to go exactly right in the next few days. You may not have the solution, but don’t be part of the problem. Give in. Give up. Laugh. Walmart is not killing off Christmas, it’s our reaction to the commercialization. ----Matt: baritone.
#7 ----(It’s now been five minutes since I’ve mentioned any gift that might benefit me, so…) Season tickets to New Salem’s Theatre in the Park.. my show: Abraham. 1 800 710 9290 $85.00
#8---Give a gift to the entire world. Throw your cell phone into the bushes as you leave.
#9----Give your time. Every year…I ask my 7th graders and my seniors the same question: “How would you raise your children differently than the way you were raised?” There was a very sad answer I used to get once or twice a year. Now it is the answer of the majority of the kids: I will spend more time with my kids. Did you hear me? Twenty years ago I heard this answer maybe once a year… now it is Number one. Not simply on a Hawaiian cruise or a trip to Disneyworld, or watching them from the bleachers at a ballgame, but simply being with them.
#10 ---- Finally……It’s been a long time since I mentioned anything that I might make money off of, so let me announce that I’m probably retiring from Triopia this year and the Triopia school board learned their employee compensation skills in Baghdad. The Saddam Hussein School of Collective Bargaining. My retirement fund is at the 1st National Bank of Arenzville. Remember: it’s the season of giving.
--- Seriously…I applaud…I congratulate the Rotary & Kiwanis, Jacksonville’s premiere civic organizations. Again and again you lead the way in your desire to make our area and our world better. So…lead the way again…. Don’t sweat the cash.. give yourself this Christmas…because that’s how it all got started. God has not wished us a Happy Holiday, He’s promised us a Happy Eternity through Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas.
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