Krista Dougherty Savage.. Amazing Grace
How Great Thou Art
Mary Frances Suhling, age 86, of Perry, Illinois passed away on Monday, October 6, 2014 at Blessing Hospital in Quincy, Illinois. She was born May 24, 1928 in Aurora, Nebraska the daughter of Herman and Frances Butler Wilson. She married Walter Suhling, Jr. on August 14, 1948 in Mt. Sterling, Illinois and he preceded her in death on January 22, 2014. Mrs. Suhling was a homemaker and had also served as water billing clerk for the village of Perry. Earlier in life Mary worked for the General Telephone Company. She graduated from Perry High School with the class of 1946. Mary was a former member of the Mt. Sterling First Christian Church, the Order of the Eastern Star Pittsfield Chapter # 195 for over 50 years and was also a member of the Perry American Legion Post # 1040 Auxiliary. And most importantly…as long as her health allowed, she was a regular contributing member of the Perry Jiffy Stop coffee club.
Mary and Walter have four children… Walter R. Suhling III and his wife Diana of Griggsville, Illinois, Roger Suhling of Mt. Sterling, Mary Ellen Craig whose husband is Paul of Perry, Illinois and Peggy Perry and her husband Ed of Mt. Sterling. 8 grandchildren Tracy Flowers and her husband Jamie, Jeri Lyn Howell and her husband Booky, Reggie Suhling, Kimber Martin and her husband Michael, Kellen Craig, Kollin Craig and his wife Brittany and Joseph and Maddy Perry. 4 great grandchildren Makenzie Flowers, Ethan and Evan Howell and Hattie Martin also survive along with several nieces and nephews. She was preceded in death by her parents, 1 daughter Cherry Lyn Suhling and 1 sister Barbara Jean Wilson.
I once sat down across from Mary and the Perry convenience store/coffee shop and she said, “You sure are a cute little thing.” The lady had remarkable taste. I’m not sure about her eyesight.
Walter was sitting next to her and made some remark. She said, “You know why I keep him, don’t you?” I said that I didn’t. She said, “I don’t either. I was hoping you could tell me.”
It is so important to have parents who know how to laugh…how to kid each other…Kids learn those traits more keenly than how to tie their shoes or bake a pie. We learn the attitudes of our parents and sitting down front today is the proof of Walter and Mary’s sense of humor.
I was maybe 10 years old and went with Mom and Dad to an Eastern Star meeting…the old Masonic Hall above Brim’s store… an elderly lady, couldn’t walk well, couldn’t climb stairs… so Walter, Dad, and Myron Tedrow put her in a straight chair to carry her up the long flight of stairs.. I was standing with Mary at the top. I was scared that they’d drop her. The old lady was frightened to death and hung onto Walter’s coat with a death grip. Mary whispered to me, “My God, I hope they don’t drop her. She’s in charge of refreshments tonight.”
And in Perry, people always have double names. Bob and Alma, Elmer and Freida, Gwen and Mervin…Walter and Mary. Walter and Mary were a team….They did this double thing with their eyes when they’d react to something together…Walter would raise his brows in surprise and Mary would lower hers.
Whether you’re Democrat or Republican …and if you come from Perry, chances are that you’re Republican…you have to agree with Hillary Clinton’s phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.” If you were raised in Perry, Freida may have been your actual mother, but you were also mothered by Louise or Vivian or Margaret . . . or Mary.
Peggy said, “. I've always appreciated how they parented more than just me and my siblings; a lot of our friends spent time at our house in our younger years. I would get letters at college from mom and she was always updating me on who had been by to see them.”
Greg May, a funeral home director from Jacksonville said, “It’s a funny thing. When the typical big city resident dies we hold a normal funeral. When the deceased is from a small town we have to set up extra chairs.” I was blessed to not only be born in a small town but to now live in another small town. We don’t have “family funerals,” we have “community funerals.” I have no idea what I’m doing speaking at a funeral. I have no training…but I saw Walt Jr. do things in high school that he wasn’t prepared to do either… but the atmosphere is always the same. . . .in a small community we are a part of each other.
As I mentioned at Walter’s funeral…The Memories of Perry Facebook page….it’s gone viral…every day, new pictures and as soon as a new picture appears, the comments start rolling in…. The recent entries include …. Pictures of John Stauffer singing with Parks Jackson and Mike Braungardt at the Perry Prom…. Phil Johnson holding a basketball trophy… The class of 1968 posing in front of the old Perry Grade School building…Walt Jr. in the back row beside John Stauffer, new blue jeans, long-sleeved shirt buttoned to the top…. Jerry Waters in his white sport coat complete with the required white socks… Frosty White showing on his new striped pajamas on his senior trip to Gatlinburg… The Griggsville Apple Festival Queen and her court… (sorry, but I’m still trying to get used to the phrase “Perry Griggsville”) Jack and Dianna Phillips driving their horse as Honored Citizens in this year’s Pioneer Day parade… Gary Dougherty’s sad notice of the death of his son… A fifty-year-old home movie of Pat Webel singing with Linda Thiele.. Gail Emerson’s 8th-grade picture …a picture of Bob and Ferp Lackshide giving haircuts Walter Suhling Jr. posing between Jerry Waters and Mike Quincy in their Jr. Class play on the old Perry Stage…The play, “It’s Great to be Crazy.”
And all this points to a really wonderful thing about small communities… when you die you are not forgotten. Take a seat some afternoon at the Perry coffee shop and you’ll find that many of the stories told there are not about the living. We keep telling the stories. We keep remembering. Mary and Walt will forever be a part of our communities… Walt…Roger…Peggy…Mary Ellen…keep telling these stories. Bore your children and your grandchildren to death. It’s a good thing.
Walt and Mary’s grandchildren….listen…put up with us. There will come a day…perhaps soon…when you’ll cling to any bit of information that you can get about your grandparents. It’s a good thing. And some day your own children will get tired of you telling stories about Walter and Mary….and that’s a good thing, too.
These stories…these family treasures….are what hold us together and make us what we are. When you go through Mary and Walter’s things you’ll find mementos….pictures, objects…and it’s wonderful to latch onto them for keepsakes, but the real keepsakes…the real treasures…will be the stories you pass down and keep telling.
From Peggy again: Mom raised us to volunteer, help others where we could and to be appreciative of what we have. I remember being dragged along for nursing home visits, 'meals on wheels' deliveries, serving and cleanup duty at the Eastern Star fundraising dinners...I was sure my sister and I were going to die from the overwork and the excessive hugs we endured.
Keep telling those stories, Peggy.
From Kimber: “Grandma always asked if she could have my clothes. Her comment was usually, "Oh this is pretty. I like it a lot. I think I'll take it when you're done with it." It didn't matter that there was a significant size difference. When Hattie was born, she always said, "I think I'll just put her in my pocket and keep her." She said this even when Hattie was well past the "pocket" sized stage.
Hattie…it’s your job to keep telling that story.
Kimber goes on…. “Grandma taught me so many things, but two lessons stick out more than others. One of them was that "bored" was pretty much a dirty word. There was no reason to ever be bored because there is always something to be done. One of those things that could prevent boredom was reading, which Grandma loved to do. She passed that love down through her children to her grandchildren. Thanks to her and the ingrained love of books I inherited from her, I can honestly say I'm rarely bored.”
Keep telling that story and some day many years from now there will be more readers in your family, Kimber. “She also taught me to smile, even when I don't always feel like it. Grandma wasn't one to show her negative feelings in public and she didn't like it when we put ours on display as little ones. I quickly learned when I was young that pouting, scowling and a bad mood were to be left at home and not brought out for everyone else to see.”
That night they carried the lady up the steps to Eastern Star… I’m sure they gave out gifts that night, I’m sure they had a lovely printed program, and I’m sure they took pictures…but the only thing that I still have with me…my only keepsake is the story of what Mary whispered to me. “Don’t drop her…she’s in charge of refreshments tonight.”
Some people choose not to have visitations . . . that’s a shame. That’s where we get to hear stories. I’m sure you heard some last night. Our stories heal us. . . they can make our hearts bigger. There’s a story behind everything…how a picture got on a wall, how a scar got on your face, why you’re doing that particular Christmas tradition… but behind all these stories is always your mother’s story, because that’s where yours began.
I remember a story from Walter’s service… They lived next to Wayne Mountains’ and Mark stole Mary Ellen and Peggy’s kittens…took them to his house. Mary said it wasn’t long when the front door came flying open and the kittens came running home, followed by Mark. Wayne said he didn’t want “them damn cats” at his house.
Paula Hannant sent this to Peggy:
From Ecclesiastes: There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. We are so blessed that Mary Suhling lived in our time. On Peggy Perry’s Facebook page this week, Kim Williams wrote, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mom was always so nice and always had a story to tell.” Let’s keep telling her stories. Pray with me… Maddy reads something….
Graveside… spent nearly 70 years together and now they’re together again. And that’s the way it should be. From a message sent to Mary Ellen this week….
Kimber said: I was blessed, as were my brothers, to grow up across the street from Grandpa and Grandma. I don't think I was ever as appreciative as I should have been to have that opportunity. Grandma was always there and so many of my first memories include her. Her house was always open to us. She was often the person I went to when I was struggling and just needed a safe place. She'll be missed so much by so many, but knowing she is pain free and with Grandpa again makes this time a little bit more bearable.
Psalm 23: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. 3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell[a] in the house of the Lord Forever.
From Isaiah: Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you Second Corinthians 5:1 “For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.”
Please pray with me….