← Speeches & Workshops

Oct 2004

Extension Workers, S’field Hilton

Checked the program carefully…Sunday… Senior Citizens University.. play piano…no, speak… intro: Piano  
 
 David. .basketti Bummy Teen Prostitution..selling yourself.

Forgive me if some of you have heard this before… Spoke to Central Illinois Extension workers last summer on this topic. Thought I’d better come up with a new one. Then spoke at another conference here in S’field last week… Lady came up and said, “I’m sure looking forward to hearing that speech again. …and I don’t see her.

Sometimes your topics change… Senior Citizens University last week…piano… speech..piano

Spoke for a Methodist gathering last week…beside an old lady.. 90 years old, a 55 year member of the club.. (Speech on travel) “Good. I’m tired of those damn speeches on travel.”

Rather than “Finding humor in the workplace.. ..” would be “Finding your own sense of humor and taking it into the workplace.

I was raised to have a sense of humor. My Dad: 84 years old. Still clowns in parades.. Pants button.

Dad retired from job as President of a bank .. took Mom to school…got stopped driving 97 in his pickup on the way to the farm.

Let me depress you a little before I give you some cures:

Ogilvie…the leading researcher on stress, says: The stress response of the body is somewhat like an airplane readying for take-off. Virtually all systems (eg, the heart and blood vessels, the immune system, the lungs, the digestive system, the sensory organs, and brain) are modified to meet the perceived danger."  .......

National Institute of Stress:

65% of workers said that workplace stress had caused difficulties and more than 10 percent described these as having major effects; * 10% said they work in an atmosphere where physical violence has occurred because of job stress and in this group, 42% report that yelling and other verbal abuse is common; * 29% had yelled at co-workers because of workplace stress, 14% said they work where machinery or equipment has been damaged because of workplace rage and 2% admitted that they had actually personally struck someone; (Grew up in Perry, Illinois. I know a man who personally shot his own television during a Presidential election.) * one in five respondents had quit a previous position because of job stress and nearly one in four have been driven to tears because of workplace stress; * 62% routinely find that they end the day with work-related neck pain, 44% reported stressed-out eyes, 38% complained of hurting hands and 34% reported difficulty in sleeping because they were too stressed-out; * 12% had called in sick because of job stress; * Over half said they often spend 12-hour days on work related duties and an equal number frequently skip lunch because of the stress of job demands.

Increased hours worked: Work week has increased 8 hours since your parents generation. Avg: 48 hours per week. .  U.S. workers put in more hours on the job than the labor force of any other industrial nation, where the trend has been just the opposite.  ..Japan and Germany used to lead the world..now we’re in 1st place.

An estimated 1 million workers are absent every day due to stress.

It’s estimated that 2 million workers may lose their jobs this year. The Symptoms:

30% of workers suffering from back pain; * 28% complaining of "stress"; * 20% feeling fatigued; * 17% having muscular pains; * 13% with headaches.

40% of job turnover is due to stress. * 60 to 80% of accidents on the job are stress related and some, like the Three Mile Island and Exxon Valdez disasters, can affect untold thousands many miles away.

They have even categorized the three phases your body goes through: Phase 1. Alarm phase: When an unusual (or stressful) event occurs, the output of energy drops for a short period as the event is registered in the person's mind. Phase 2. Adaptation phase: Next, the output of energy increases above the normal level; arousal is heightened as the person seeks to deal with the situation. Phase 3. Exhaustion phase: Finally the person's available energy is expended and his capacity to function effectively is reduced.

Is this enough to stress you out or what?

The good news!… If you get rid of the stress, you won’t lose a thing!… It does absolutely no good…Even to those who say they work well under stress… If you ask me, they’re just lazy and need stress to get them going.

Andy Rooney…figured out “undecided voters.” He says, “They’re just stupid.” Garrison Keilor said something similar Saturday night… He’s gone out to eat with these sorts of people…Look at a menu forever…

I had a revelation last night… made a list of the 3 people I knew who said they worked best under a deadline… They were the 3 who caused me the most stress.

So don’t believe those who say they work better under stress. They’re just lazy.

A few Ideas on Reviving your own sense of humor at work… (and by the way, most of them work pretty well at home)

1. IF YOU WANT TO REGAIN YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR, Stop Reliving THE NEGATIVE

Our teacher’s lounge For once, don’t get if off your chest Teacher I know..kids drive her crazy.. ..meet her in IGA...guess what she talks about...

Corrie Ten Boom “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, It empties today of its strength.” To lose weight, skip your morning calisthenics. Every morning I do calisthenics... Keep your “record” button. Keep your “Play.” Keep your finger off the rewind. That’s old news. Get on with it.

1 ½… Realize that YOUR SCHEDULE is YOUR SCHEDULE. It belongs to no one else. I leave my teaching job about 20 times a year to go speak. The worst part of teaching is preparing for a substitute. I’m the only one in my family who has to have a substitute take my place when I’m gone. Brother: Bank President. Sister in Law: an accountant. Father: retired.

Secretery at school mouths, “Say No..” Whenever I get a call.

2. Realize that no matter what happens to you today, YOU are still the one who determines how the day will go. You may not control the events of the day. You CAN control your reactions. J. Stephens...taught, sold, taught. whistles and sings... Mom: Alcatraz Yesterday I met with a senior class who have been the terror of our school ever since Jr High. I saw the list and it looked like a prison break. I never dreamed they’d make it this far alive. And when class begins, I will still be the main determining factor of how that class goes.

3. If life’s bumming you out, chances are you aren’t giving enough of yourself. This is the opposite of what the self-help books preach. I’ve read several books on stress and none of them agree with me… but they’re wrong.

Self-centeredness : depression. Becky...funeral... Carl Menninger JHS girl: CFS

A. Sweitzer: “The only ones among you who will be truly happy as those who will have sought and found out how to serve.” If life is bumming you out because you’re asked to give so much, give more.

4. Collect Interesting and enthusiastic people

Marie...salt and pepper shakers.

Friendships don’t have to simply be things that happen...They can be created... I hope you have a support group among you colleagues. Nuture friends who encourage you. Who take joy in your joy. Even if you must go outside your own fellow employees. There are some people sitting right here who don’t get along well with other..who harbor jealousies and grudges.. and the sad part is that their so-called enemies feel the same way. Grow up! Get over it! My Dad: “It’s always the smartest one in a disagreement who must make up.” I know you think you’re the smarter of the two so do something about it. We all have enough to fight without going at each other.

Seek out those who take joy in your joy.. hard to find.. lots of people will cry with you but few will genuinely take joy in your success without envy and jealousy. They’re out there.. and if you can’t find them, it’s probably because you aren’t doing that with them.

As of last year, I’m old enough to retire from teaching… Instead, I started teaching a night class at a college in addition to my regular teaching duties. Last night….Night Watchman. We must be encouragers.

DE exam… Teachers met last week. 25% passed. All other teachers taught this class longer…all had more degrees… All probably knew the subject matter matter. BUT>.. 40% of mine passed… I think I know why….I’m an encourager.

In other words: become an encourager yourself. My week: Last Friday…7 hour grading session, played for an Old Threshers reunion Friday night. Saturday: sang at a Color Drive, played a piano concert that night. Sunday… played for a 2 p.m. funeral, drove across the state and played a concert at a church… Plus that weekend I had to write and send my newspaper column to 21 Midwest newspapers, play for my own church service, help host an all-day youth rally near Meredosia and prepare for my Monday night college class. Know what? I didn’t need help. I didn’t need another piano player or another teacher, or singer or speaker… All I needed was encouragement.

You have many workshops and training sessions… You learn a little but you pretty much know how to do your job.. What you need is an encourager…Someone to say, “You’re good at what you do, few could do it better, and you can get this done.” That’s all.

Mark Twain: “I can live for a month on a good compliment.”

Tony Compello “Five years from now you’ll be pretty much the same as you are now except for two things: The books you’ve read and the people you’ve met.

architect Johnstone: (Charlie Rose show) 90 years old. Hottest place in hell for whiners and complainers ..... “If life were 100 times longer, there would still excuse for every getting bored by it.” Cultivate friends who are not bored by life. 4 ½ . Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, 
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. Go home tonight and start throwing out the junk…unless you’re married to it. 
(Fire at my house… candle in prayer room… in ten seconds I had to realize my priorities: journal and computer (angel in the fire)…

5. Don’t get so busy with the important things in your life that you forget the important things in your life. James Dobson..monopoly Dad...hay ...rain.... The greatest joys are the simplest. Enjoy the simple things and live in the present... Old Time school day… explain.. an exercise in cloud watching… (now they’re doing it on their own) 
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5 ½ 3. Keep learning. Break yourself out of your “I’ve learned everything I’m ever going to learn,” rut. We’ve had a wonderful invention in the last 20 years..lt’s called “Life long Learning” and “Community Colleges.”

Me: took a class in horseshoeing.. Worked one summer at a strip show.. I took a course in Burlesque.

After teaching for 34 years and now eligible for retirement, I took on an additional teaching job this year for Lincoln Land.. explain the class… I have learned so much.. single mothers, 2 kids, 8 hour job, then 4 hours of me… 5 ¾ . Refuse to look upon tragedy as defeat. There are genuine benefits in hardship.

Our little community seems to have more than its share of tragedies..perhaps not. 
Large funeral home in J’ville…new and huge. Built big enough to hold three visitations at the same time… except when it’s a member of our little community.. then only one. 
The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.

6. Choose carefully whom you try to please. Quest...Inner-Outer Self

HINEY THE MULE

7. Lighten up.... Jim Kern...MRS. BROWN

Post ..Jalepeno pepper

PHYSCIAL CHECKUP... Illinois Power

LIGHTEN UP.... ....go barefoot more often ....turn off the TV some night and pull taffy. ...eat nothing but ice cream for a whole day. ...wear underwear backwards...will break into uncontrollable giggles for no reason every time you think about it. ....walk up to biggest grouch you know and say “I just want you to know that I feel great!” It’ll throw them off all day. ...do some serious coloring ...start working to succeed instead of fearing failure... ...break the dress code occasionally. Your own, not the employers.

.....McDonnald’s “Have a nice Day” Why?

3 things in life are real...WHEN YOU’RE BORN, WHEN YOU DIE WHEN YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN Another Person’s LIFE.. in everything else...LIGHTEN UP.

7 ½ Whatever motives you have assigned to people, you are probably wrong. It’s a tired phrase, but until you’ve walked in another person’s shoes, you just don’t know. 
Beardstown boys at camp…Elephant Man… You have so much in common with the person who irritates you the most. Hands up: Used to take one large step before getting into bed. Would cover up all but mouth to breathe. Has secretly hoped during my speech that a certain person in here is listening to this?

8. Don’t take yourself too seriously.. chances are, no one else does.

Chillochothe...”probably dead”

Church lady...music at her funeral.

Jeff W...Free Spirit..Robbed and tied.

Travel LIghter...Your anxieties? Look in your purse or pocket or billfold...ME: comb.

Roger Ebert.

8 ½ Don’t let change frighten you. I know.. every program represented here is somehow under the gun. Only the governor and the President’s job’s are secure. But remember: When you were hired, things had to change. Someone had to adapt. Suprises are sometimes the best part of the job. Matt: Baritone.

9. Start living in the present. Be Alive when you’re alive!

I’ve taught thousands of kids over the years, including summer workshops in self-esteem. I’ve talked to audiences of adults in tough situations: Caterpillar management and labor during their strike. As a result, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about success and what it means. I’ve known hugely successful people. ONE CONCLUSION: Success in life boils down to one thing... love. Success boils down to loving what you do and loving the people around you. The ability to live in the present. Some of you during my speech have been thinking about how long...., tomorrow, this weekend. When you drive home today, enjoy the moment you’re in.

Show at New Salem one night.. turn out the lights and look at the moon.

As Americans, our live is so filled with “things” that we seldom leave time to enjoy where we are and what we’re doing.

9 ½ Tell people you love them at every opportunity. A trend that got started in our school about 10 years ago.. I have no idea why… It was a group of seniors..mainly boys….mostly those who played in the state football championship… They’d look each other in the eye before a game and say, “Hey. Remember that I love you.” Can you believe that? It spread throughout the school. Hardly a day goes by when I student doesn’t stick his head in my classroom and say, “Mr. Bradbury, I love you!”

Okay… I don’t know whether it’s always true, but man, what a reliever of stress!

Difficult play cast. Hello Dolly. Tempers flaired. Waiter’s Gallop. Mike… Sammy.. crash.. tears.. “I love you?”

10. If you have faith, use it. Make this deal with yourself. For every minute you spend worrying about things, spend a minute praying my them. Atheist? Hire a nice Baptist widow to do your praying for you.

What does talk about faith have to do with a workshop on using the workplace. In case you hadn’t heard, God has a sense of humor. Just look at the person behind you.

If you don’t have a sense of humor about your faith, then maybe you should consider it.

G’pa and G’ma in Holy Roller Church.

5th-grade boys at camp… dance…. “God, us guys in the back row ain’t too good. Please help us to not screw up too bad. Amen.” Isn’t that honestly all we pray for every day?

And.. 10 ½ Don’t worry if you’re not thanked. Conway Twitty.

Ball Toss…….. What’s the one problem in your work place that you wish you could learn to laugh at?

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