Rochester Student Leaders Conference 2016

That was great. . .sounded like my funeral.

Beginning a speech: Bummy Chillochothe…famous author’s day.. “Probably dead” Communicating: David. .basketti

You’ve been sitting in school for 8 or 9 or 10 years so I won’t give you a lecture today. . just three pieces of advice. Your school says you’re a leader and your school wants you to be a leader. . .that’s why they sent you here today. You only have to remember three things. . .Don’t take notes…this is easy.

If you want to be a leader. . .

Stop thinking about yourself.
Get your act together.
Don’t be afraid to have some fun.

End of speech. Time left? Okay, I’ll explain. But let me warn you. . . I don’t give speeches. . .I’d much rather just tell stories.

• Stop thinking about yourself so much.

A story about two boys: Brandon is a six-foot-one eighth grader at a school where I teach…Triopia. He’s muscular. You don’t mess with Brandon. He’s also one of the smartest kids in his class. Jason is a round little 8th-grader in the same school. Jason is not very athletic and he’s sort of a pest so he doesn’t have many friends. Together: look like the number 10.

I took their entire 8th-grade class on an Old Fashioned School Day. Dressed like grandparents, packed food…. Climbed a hill prairie to see what Illinois looked like 200 years ago… Hiked through an old cemetery taking grave rubbings… Hunted in a creek for geodes…. Traveled to a one-room schoolhouse…outdoor toilet…two-holer: could take a friend Finally: went fishing in a large pond. Kids spread all the way around the pond… Jason was a terrible fisherman. He kept getting his line in the trees and he kept jabbering and the kids started to tease him. Jason’s feelings were hurt. They moved away from him. The other kids were catching fish and Jason was catching maple leaves and tree limbs. Nobody wanted to fish with Jason.

Big, tall Brandon saw what was happening. He walked over and climbed the tree to get Jason’s hook out of the branches, fixed his pole, and sat down and fished with him…talked with him. Brandon is not a politician…he’s not a general in the army…he’s not the principal of any school…He’s an eighth-grader and he’s the finest leader I’ve seen all week.

Brandon’s not a leader because he’s six foot one and smart. He’s a leader simply because he had the nerve to do the right thing. I promise you that if I return to that school six years from today when he’s a senior, Brandon will be the school’s finest leader. Not because he’s big and smart, but because he has the guts to do what’s right.

Brandon hardly ever thinks about himself. He’s too busy thinking about others. Brandon’s dad is a state cop in charge of grandstand at State Fair. Brandon: wheelchairs. At his school cafeteria they have indoor and outdoor seating. I went to the school yesterday to teach my college class. The outdoor seating is for the loners. . the kids no one wants to sit with. There was Jason eating his sack lunch. . . and there was Brandon right the beside him.

Most teenagers have a disease…called “ego centrism” . . the feeling that people are always looking at them and judging them. I hate to disappoint you, but we’re not. You’re friends are not looking at you and judging you because they’re thinking about you looking at them and judging them.

So. . Number One: Stop thinking about yourself so much. Some of you had a tough decision to make today. . . all these kids from other schools. What am I going to wear? Okay, you’ve already done that. . . can’t undo it, but make yourself this bargain. . .for every second you spent getting ready, spend that long getting to know somebody new. There are some really cool people in this room and you’ve only got a couple of hours to get to know them. You’ve got a lot in common….Let me show you.. Who. . .one long step to get into bed? Cover up everything but your mouth to breathe? Who’s missing a class at school today that you’re glad to be missing? See? You have a lot in common.

A story about a leader …mother died when she was 5, a very strict father who didn’t speak to her… Women shouldn’t be educated, so she got an education. Women couldn’t vote…she started the movement to get them the right.. Slavery controlled the South…she fought to have the slaves freed. But where did this start? Teenager… Civil War. . . thinking about herself. Julia Ward Howe. Battle Hymn….

• Get your act together. I’ll bet if each of you listed the top three things you need to do better, somewhere in the top three would be “Get organized.” . . . My parents want me to do this, my coach wants me to do this, my teachers. . . my friends. . .

Here’s a great time-saver. . .take all those minutes of the day that you spend worrying about things and throw them out.

Corrie Ten Boom was a young girl from the Netherlands. She and her father helped many Jews escape from the Nazis in WWII. Her whole family was arrested and her father died 10 days later. Corrie and her sister Betsie were sent to a concentration camp where her sister died.

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, It empties today of its strength.” Worry doesn’t take any problems away, it just makes you weaker. She knew that WORRY is a waste of time.

Let’s play a little game…I’ll give you two minutes to sit and worry about everything you’re nervous about. Okay, I won’t. But at the end of the two minutes will have solved anything?

The best Middle School leaders I’ve known, play their own little game: They make two stacks: 1) These are the things I can fix, so I’ll fix them and I won’t have to worry about them. 2) These are the things I can’t fix. I’ll live with them.

Quest...Inner-Outer Self

So. . .who do you try to please? HINEY THE MULE

Keep asking yourself… “Yes, I’ve got a lot to do this week. . . but what’s really important?”

The best student leaders I know are ridiculously busy…and that’s okay. Do you have a crazy schedule? Seem like your family ever eats a meal together. Does your mom say things like, “We’re just going to have to slow down!” Does your Dad say, “It seems like we’re gone every night?”

No offense to your Mom, but it won’t work. No offense to Dad, but Yes, your family will be gone about every night… sports, music, speech, dance, clubs, church groups…That’s the price you pay for being a leader.

Because if you’re a leader… The only times you’re going to be truly happy in your life are when you’re doing things to help others….If you get tired of giving, give more. You only have about 80 more years of this then you can quit

My guess: You each are one of the busiest students in your school…STILL…when somebody in your school wants something done, they come to you. 90% of the work in the world is done by people who don’t have time to do it.

And the really cool part. . . The best you will ever feel is when you’re doing something for somebody else.

It’s a simple formula: Spend most of your time thinking about yourself and you’ll get depressed. Spend most of your time thinking about others, you’ll be happier. Becky...funeral... Carl Menninger JHS girl: CFS

Brian … clown day. For the first time in his life, he was forced to think about somebody else.

Robert E. Lee …John Stauffer . . “I’ve got an idea, captain!” . Robert E. Lee, Natchez. Robert E. Lee: stripped down. Natchez: took on passengers

The greatest student leaders I know are pretty funny people. They know how to laugh.

Matt…baritone Sometimes the best solution to a problem is to laugh.

Jim Kern...MRS. BROWN

LIGHTEN UP.... ....go barefoot more often ....turn off the TV & computer some night, lay on your back and look at the stars . . your neighbors will think you’re weird but they already do. ...eat nothing but ice cream for a whole day. . . . 3, 8th-grade girls did this: They’d pick some flowers, go to a nursing home, stop at the front desk and ask which of the old people don’t get many visitors. ...wear underwear backwards...will break into uncontrollable giggles for no reason every time you think about it. ....walk up to biggest grouch you know and say “I just want you to know that I feel great!” It’ll throw them off all day. ...do some serious coloring . . the world needs less cell phones and more coloring books. ...break the dress code occasionally. Your own, not the schools. You know the definition of fashion? Whatever makes you feel GREAT. My last year’s senior class: Boys. Prom. Goodwill store. Most expensive suit: $23…and that came with a vest. .....McDonnald’s “Have a nice Day” Why? …Pick out somebody who really bothers you and simply be nice to them. Camper: kidnap.

You’re a leader. Followers are nice to people who are nice to them. Leaders try to make everyone feel good about who they are. Get really interested in other people. Me: trapped in closet with Mr. Rogers.

3 things in life are real...WHEN YOU’RE BORN, WHEN YOU DIE WHEN YOU MAKE SOMEBODY’S LIFE HAPPIER in everything else...LIGHTEN UP.

Jeff W...Free Spirit..Robbed and tied.

Roger Ebert. Church lady...music at her funeral. Victory . . .

I said 3 things, but let me cheat and add number 4: The best leaders live in the PRESENT…not the past or the future.

Your parents say “Think ahead! Think ahead!” Your teachers say, “Look to the future! Plan! Think ahead!” You coach says, “Come on! Get your head out of the ground! See what’s coming!” My advice. . . Don’t. For once, stop thinking ahead. Every hour or so just stop, take a breath, look around and tell yourself. . .Hey. . this is pretty cool. Right here. Right where I am right now. (examples)

Never again in your life will you sit in a room with this group of people. Never again in your life will you hear what you’re going to hear today. Look around…some of these people you’ll never see again. Think about where you are…appreciate who you are and who you’re with. You’re about to go to break-out sessions. . .some of you will stick close to those in your school. . . but some of you…SOME OF YOU. . . are going to take a chance. You’re going to look at a name tag and say hello. . . (demonstrate) Some of you will go home with the same friends you came with. . . SOME OF YOU will get on the bus this afternoon with a whole pocketful of new friends.

Show at New Salem one night.. turn out the lights and look at the moon.

Live in the PRESENT!

So. . 1) Stop thinking about yourself. 2) Get your act together. 3) Don’t be afraid to have some fun. . . .and start living in the present.

(OPTIONAL) John…slam dunk champ of Central Ill, star fullback…Isaac…ketchup. Down’s Syndrome cousin. Isaac always in trouble in elementary school…would do whatever the other kids told him to do. Kicked off bus. John asked to visit and sit in back. “Isaac! Ketchup!” On the night of John’s graduation last spring, they called his name to come get his diploma…and from behind the curtains came a little boy giving him a bottle of ketchup.

Wrap-up session: (with Hope)

Now that you’ve gotten to know each other a little better. . one of the best qualities of a leader is the ability to loosen up, be yourself let’s end the day with a little fun. 3 Rooms Hitchhiker Death by

Look for good Improvisers Groupings, 3 noses, Start Action Confessions The Stare Word Tennis Line Talk Darned Whistle Death By. . . Slide Show Move Me Elevator Object Changing Channels Truth, truth, lie Scene 3 Ways Dating Game Freeze Tag

Hitchhiker Statue! Sound Circle Three Rooms Endowment Man Partner non-stop talk Simul-Talk Late for School Panel of Experts Human Props Elimination