Silverstein New
JACOB: Lord knows what they've got in mind for the cow, ALL: Since they've put a brassiere on a camel.
Adrienne: That’s disgusting. John: Live with it, Adrienne. Come on guys… Best Mask! 1 & 2: They just had a contest for the scariest mask, And I was the wild and daring one Who won the contest for the scariest mask.. JOHN: And (sob) I’m not even wearing one! Adrienne: Great. A poem about ugly faces. I’m sure everybody wanted to hear that. John: You know, Adrienne, sometimes you’re really a drag. The Little Boy and the Old Man!
Adrienne: Now it’s pants wetting? What kind of weirdo was this Shel Silverstein? John: A very rich one. Hey, he was a good poet! He wrote about fun stuff. Adrienne: Is he gonna save us when we’re kicked out of contest? John: Probably not. He died seven years ago. One! Two!
GIRLS: One Two, buckle my shoe BOYS: Buckle your own shoe! GIRLS: Who said that? BOYS: I did! What are you doing with those silly buckles on your shoes anyway? GIRLS: Three, four, shut the door. BOYS: You shut it! You opened it! GIRLS: Uh….five, six, pick up sticks… BOYS: Why should I pick them up? Do you think I’m your slave? Buckle my shoe, shut the door, pick up sticks, next thing you’ll be telling me to lay them straight! GIRLS: But it’s only a poem!... Nine, ten, a big fat…Oh, never mind Adrienne: Now that was really cruel. That’s sexism! John: It’s just a poem, Adrienne! Adrienne: Who is this Shel Silverstein nut? John: He was a songwriter, a playwright, a musician, and singer and he wrote 18 books of poetry. Adrienne: From jail? John: Adrienne, would you just lighten up? I like the title of this next one..It’s called “Love!”
Adrienne: Why can’t we do something nice and pleasant…like school. John: School? I thought you said “nice and pleasant!” (thinks a minute) Okay! I got it! Kidnapped!
3 & 4: This morning I was kidnapped By three masked men. KATIE: They stopped me on the side walk, And offered me some candy, LYDIA: And when I wouldn't take it They grabbed me by the collar, And pinned my arms behind me, ADRIENNE: And shoved me in a backseat Of this big black limousine and Tied my hands behind my back With sharp and rusty wire. SYDNEY: Then they put a blindfold on me So I couldn't see where they took me, And plugged up my ears with cotton So I couldn't hear their voices. EMILY: And drove for 20 miles or At least for 20 minutes, and then Dragged me from the car down to Some cold and moldy basement, KELSEY: Where they stuck me in a corner And went off to get the ransom Leaving one of them to guard me With a shotgun pointed at me, 3 & 4: Tied up sitting on a stool... COREY: That's why I'm late for school!!!
Jansen, Phillip, Ryan grab Corey
Offer him candy
They do…put him in back seat of car with Hayden & Dakota driving..bouncing along
John blindfolds Corey and jumps into car with Hayden and Dakota with Corey
Jacob drags Corey from car and throws him into the “basement”
Jansen points shotgun at Corey
Adrienne: Oh great! That’s really great! Now we’re in big trouble! John: No. We’ll be in big trouble after this one. Come on, guys! The Prayer of the Selfish Child!
Adrienne: Is this almost over? John: Not quite! My Hobby! 1 & 2: When you spit from the twenty-sixth floor And it floats on the breeze to the ground.. Does it fall upon hats or on white Persian cats JANSEN: Or on heads with a pitty-pat sound? PHILLIP: I used to think life was a bore, But I don’t feel that way anymore, 1 & 2: As I count up the hits As I smile as I sit, As I spit from the twenty-sixth floor!