There was a boy named _________ in a county known as Pike
Who rode the streets of Pittsfield on his little beat-up bike He rode his bike down Piper Lane, the day was bright a fair He rode up to the courthouse in the middle of the square.
He cut across the pretty lawn with nothin’ on his mind When Sheriff Petty screamed at him “Can’t you read the sign?” The sheriff pointed to a sign with letters black and white But __________ didn’t read it, In fact he didn’t try.
He said, “I don’t like readin’, ‘cause I got my bike and dog. The bike can’t speak English and the dog, well he’s a dog. I got my computer and I got my I-Pod, too! Why should I be a reader when I can talk as good as you?
Sheriff Petty looked at _____ and said, “You don’t like to read? That’s too bad, son. This sign says that they’re givin’ away free bikes down at Wal-Mart!” Well he took off like a greased Pike County pig and he was singin’..
Oh well I won’t be left behind, No I won’t be left behind.. I brand-new shiny bike is what I need! Oh well, I won’t be left behind, No I won’t be left behind… I’ll get my bike! Who cares if I can read?
When got to the Wal-Mart parkin’ lot, he was mighty tired, he was mighty hot But it was worth the trip to get a brand new bike. He put his old bike on the floor and then he walked up to the door And smiled real big he walked himself inside.
He said, “I’m here to get my ride with a big red stripe plumb down the side and the manager she said, “Are you nuts?” “If you came for that give-away, then son, that deal was yesterday! “The sign said one-day only… You’re out of luck!”
Well, he was mighty disappointed that he couldn’t read the sign right and he’d missed the give-away by a whole day, but just then he heard somebody shout, “Hey! They’re given away free Big Mac’s and Fries down at McDonalds!” He left his bike right there in the Wal-Mart parking lot and started off runnin’ and singin’…
Oh well I won’t be left behind, No I won’t be left behind.. I gonna get some supper and it’s free! Oh well, I won’t be left behind, No I won’t be left behind… Long as I can eat, who needs to read!
Well, he ran right down to Micky D’s, the sweat a-drippin’ on his knees And ran inside to get himself a bite! But the counter man said, “Where’s your wheels! The sign says that his Big Mac deal is for every kid who rides here on his bike!”
Dern!
Well he was mighty mad and he was mighty blue and he was getting’ mighty hungry, too.. So he took off runnin’ for Hardees down the road… He ran so fast in his hullabaloo that he threw off both his brand new shoes And ran to get a Monster Thickburger with a giant Coke.
He ordered his food and the man he sneered, “Wait! You can’t eat here!” And the kid he was gettin’ mighty, mighty nervous. “I’ll take that plate of food so fine! Son, can’t you simply read that sign… It said, “No shirt, no shoes…no service!”
Well _________ was gettin’ plumb discombobulated. He’d left his bike at Wal-Mart, he’d lost his shoes on the highway, and his stomach was startin’ to growl. In fact..he was so desperate…he was SOOO desperate… that he went home to his Mom’s cookin’.
He hitched a ride with UPS then thanked the guy for his kindliness And walked up to his house all tired and sore… But when he went inside his little home, he looked around and he was all alone.. His Mom and Dad were gone …there was nothin’ more!
The floor was swept, the beds were made, the windows shut like movin’ day He thought, “Now this ain’t right! Well son-of-a-gun!” The kitchen sink was all bone-dry, and the microwave had waved good-bye… The cupboards were bare and his dog-goned dog was gone!
He thought to himself… This ain’t right. Am I dreamin’ this? Just then his big hairy neighbor walked in the front door and said, “Hey _____!” “What?” “Didn’t you go with your folks?” “Where they’d go?” “They packed up and moved to Nebo! They said they left you a note! Whatsa matter? Can’t you read?” So he took off down the Nebo road a singin’..
Oh well I won’t be left behind, No I won’t be left behind.. Nebo, Illinois’s the place for me! Oh well, I won’t be left behind, No I won’t be left behind… Long as I get to Nebo, who needs to read?
Now Nebo, if you’ve seen the map, it ain’t too big and it’s sorta flat And when he got to Nebo, he found it wasn’t there. There was a great-big sign up on a tree, but of course he couldn’t read The sign said, “Nebo’s now closed for repairs!”
So he sat right down in the middle of the road, a-waitin’ just to find his folks, But of course his folks, they didn’t show. But he was a patient little tyke, and besides, he didn’t have his bike And he waited there until he’d grown real old.
I mean he waited a long time! A long, long time! When he sat down he was …(How old are you?)…he was ________! But he sat there for so long that when he got up he was 87 years old! He was older than_Mrs. Richards!
His toenails curled and his beard grew gray and his hair, well it plumb went away (What’s funny about that?)… and he grew nearly as old as Mr. Brue! His clothes got holes and socks wore off and he developed an old man’s gaggin’ cough… And boy did he need bath..Oh boy! Pee-Yoo!
And he said to himself… You know, I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I’d just learned to read well. And he thought of all the good things in life he’d missed…the good books…the magazines…the Pike Press..the Coonridge Digest…the emails…..the billboards.. the backs of cereal boxes…. The little messages inside fortune cookies… The instructions on how to open a can of Spaghetti-O’s… the text messages from that really cute girl at lunch hour… the ingredients on the Mountain Dew cans…. the “Welcome to Pike County! Look out for Deer!” signs…
And he said…You know…If I had it all to do over again….Well…I….
Won’t be left behind, no I won’t be left behind! I won’t forget the one thing that I need! I won’t be left behind, no I won’t be left behind…. I’ll read and read and read and read and read and read! (sing along!)
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