(music under)
TRISH: Dear Diary… It’s a new year and new speech team and I’m so excited! I have my rehearsals all scheduled perfectly and…
JULIE: Excuse me. The Scholastic Bowl meeting has been moved to Tuesday afternoon…
TRISH: Huh?
MARY: The boys’ baseball game rained out last week has been rescheduled for this afternoon.
TRISH: Wait a minute!
LARRY: Sorry about the short notice but there will be a teachers’ meeting before school tomorrow.
TRISH: You can’t do this!
JERRY: The following students should come to the office immediately….
TRISH: We’re rehearsing!
JULIE: Miss Ballard, I’m sorry but I can’t stay after school today. My grandpa died.
TRISH: He died last year.
JULIE: Uh…we just got the money to bury him. Sorry.
MARY: Miss Ballard, my partner won’t work on our duet. I want a new partner.
TRISH: What’s the matter with her?
MARY: She’s stupid.
JERRY: All 7th-graders should report to the gym for vision and hearing tests.
TRISH: What’d she say? I couldn’t hear her.
JULIE: Dear Miss Ballard. This is Jeremy’s mother. I hope you don’t expect him to memorize that entire speech. I want him to do a monologue with several students instead. Maybe two minutes tops. And I expect a first place on contest day.
LARRY: The volleyball bus will leave immediately after school instead of tomorrow as planned previously before the schedule was changed to today until further notice. ……..This may change.
TRISH: Stop! You may not leave this rehearsal!
MARY: But Miss Ballard, the fire alarm went off!
TRISH: Then we’ll all burn together! Don’t move an inch! We’ve got to practice! (a beat, then) Oh, I give up. They want me to coach the speech team then they won’t give me time to do it. I should have been a business major. I wish I had a way to get out of this. I’m going to bed.
JERRY: And as she slept… (sleep music)
LARRY: As she slept….
JERRY: Something magical happened.
LARRY: Something very strange…
JERRY: Very ….unusual….
CINDY: (a burst of over-the-top gaiety) Hel----------lo!
TRISH: Who….Who are you?
CINDY: The Speech Fairy!
TRISH: Speech Fairy!
CINDY: You made a wish, you went to sleep, and Bingo! Here I am! Got any Oreos? Fruit Loops? Anything? I’ve been flyin’ all night.
TRISH: I’ve never heard of the Speech Fairy!
CINDY: Then you haven’t been reading your IESA bulletins. I’m listed way, way down the list..right below water polo. I am famished. How old are these Ritz Crackers?
TRISH: But…. ….what do you do?
CINDY: I starve.
TRISH: I mean…as Speech Fairy.
CINDY: I help the helpless, kid. I’m the fairy of last resort. The saint of worn out speech coaches. Distant cousin of Edna Means. Do I smell macaroni and cheese?
TRISH: So…you know… Where do we start?
CINDY: Let’s go to school!
TRISH: I’m in my pajamas!
CINDY: Not any more! (makes a magic gesture toward her..Poof!..she reacts.. a musical “whish!”)
TRISH: Wow! What a gorgeous outfit! Where’d you get it? Who could afford this?
CINDY: A school board member. Let’s go!
JULIE: (Traveling music under) And so she floated high above the treetops toward her school, in her Christian Dior gown, and the Speech Fairy floating beside her.
CINDY: Hey! Look! A McDonalds! Got time for a McMuffin?
MARY: And before she knew it, she was standing in her very own classroom.
TRISH: Whoa! With my own office and coffee breaks! Did I just become Athletic Director?
CINDY: It’s a whole new world, kid. Watch this.
LARRY: Just then the basketball coach walked into her room.
JERRY: (timidly) Uh….don’t mean to bother you. ..but…uh…Could I have your permission to use a few kids on Wednesday?
TRISH: What’s going on? He’s never asked for anything…he just gives orders!
JERRY: Uh…I wouldn’t bother you but we’re playing the state championship game.
TRISH: Holy cow!
CINDY: Here comes your principal.
MARY: Miss Ballard!
TRISH: Yes, Mrs. Floorwalker!?
MARY: I know you have your schedule all set…
TRISH: Oh no!
MARY: …but I’ve made a new schedule so you can use in-school time to rehearse with all your speech students…at double the stipend…
TRISH: Wow!
MARY: …with three assistants…
TRISH: Are you serious?
MARY:…and your own specially designed rehearsal room.
TRISH: You’re kidding!
MARY: I’m an administrator. I don’t kid.
TRISH: Oh. Sorry.
CINDY: So? Whatta you think of your new arrangements, kiddo?
JULIE: Miss Ballard, I’m sorry.
TRISH: What’d you do, Jennifer?
JULIE: You said to have our speeches memorized by next week but I made a mistake …
TRISH: What now?
JULIE: I memorized mine early. The whole team did. You mad?
TRISH: I can’t believe this is happening!
CINDY: Hey honey, the best is yet to come. You’ve got the biggest miracle of all on contest day!
TRISH: Oh no! What?
CINDY: This year…for the first time in history…
TRISH: Yeah?
CINDY: All the judges will have read the rules.
ALL: (singing) Halleluiah!
LARRY: But before poor Trish knew it, she was back in her bed again (whirls around…whirling music) … and the Speech Fairy was gone. CINDY: Without so much as a French Fry! What a cheap organization!
JERRY: And so were her miracles…
JULIE: Miss Ballard, I can’t be in speech. I just can’t get it memorized.
MARY: Miss Ballard, my partner is illegitimate.
TRISH: Do you mean ineligible?
MARY: Isn’t that what I said?
JERRY: I’m sorry, Miss Ballard, but we had to schedule the music contest and two volleyball games on the same day as your speech contest. You can just send in substitutes, can’t you?
LARRY: And so poor Trish struggled through somehow…like we all do.
JULIE: She chose her battles carefully…
JERRY: She won a couple….
MARY: And on contest day ….well, nobody died.
LARRY: One half of duet didn’t show up at all…
JERRY: One mother insisted on driving her son and arrived too late.
MARY: One “expert” judge disqualified her chorale because they didn’t sing.
JULIE: Two contestants got their rankings lowered because the judge thought the “floor” was a prop and they kept stepping on it.
LARRY: Some of her kids ranked higher than she would have placed them.
JERRY: A few tears…lots of laughter….too much noise in the hallways, but most of her students counted it a success because they had served pizza at the contest.
MARY: And she went home thinking…
TRISH: Is it worth it? Am I making a difference? Am I fighting this battle alone?
JULIE: And then…one by one….the notes…the letters…the conversations and the emails began trickling in…
CINDY: Taken from actual correspondence to IESA speech coaches: (Music under) From a school board:
JERRY: Thank you for sharing the work of your speech team last night at our board meeting. They were excellent and another great example of the gift of time that you are giving and the belief that when children are given an opportunity, they will take and rise with it.
MARY: My daughter has been waiting years to join the Literary Club. She was so excited to join that she was picking out her script before the first meeting. I believe that the literary contest experience gives kids an edge throughout their entire life. Thank you.
CINDY: From a former student:
LARRY: “Hey, it’s been 15 years since I was in speech but when I went to Iraq they asked for volunteers for company commander. You had to give a speech. I got a third at contest but today I’m company commander!”
CINDY: From a parent:
JULIE: Our gratitude goes out to both you for taking time out of your busy lives, with your own children to make time for our own children. Your time and influence towards my daughter is truly appreciated.
MARY: She couldn't have grown through her hard times without you two and expressing herself through speech and theater, which you have truly cultivated within her.
LARRY: She is now a strong and happy person, and you have a lot to do with that, with your acknowledgment of her as an artist and as a person. Thank you again..
JERRY: We are all so excited with how well you guys did this year! I am sure you will have a ton of support as this program has created some good buzz around town.
JULIE: Thank you so much for your presentation last night. The kids were amazing! Your dedication to the children of our district is unparalleled in this community. MARY: Please share my sentiments with your team. We couldn't be more proud of all they have accomplished this year. Let me know what else we can do to support them. CINDY: From the high school speech coach:
JERRY: AWESOME JOB! Please tell the kids congratulations from the high school speech team and we look forward to seeing them at our school SOON! LARRY: When my son and his group performed the “American Pride” chorale piece I had tears in my eyes. Thank you.
JULIE: I don’t even teach at the school but when my husband died during speech season the parents showed up at the visitation. I was touched.
CINDY: From a former student:
JERRY: “I was in prison fifteen years for selling drugs. When I got out they asked me what skills I had. I told them I was in Jr. High speech contest. Today I’m clean..and I’m rich…and I own three farms…on the ocean floor off the coast of Japan, Australia, and the East Coast. I came back to thank you for making me memorize that damned speech.”
CINDY: From a student:
LARRY: “I was in football and speech. I set three state rushing records in the state championship game but it was speech contest that made me a coach today.” (all close books, look at audience, then Julie speaks) TRISH: Welcome to the IESA speech workshop. Be prepared for miracles.
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PAGE 6 2009 IESA Opening Presentation